Why we shouldn't fall in love

Falling in love can bring both happiness and heartache. While it is a natural and powerful human emotion, there are several reasons why one may choose not to pursue love or why it may not be the best option for them at a given time. Here are a few reasons:

Time and Energy Commitment - Falling in love requires a lot of time, energy, and effort. Maintaining a healthy relationship can be demanding, and it can take away from other aspects of life such as work, hobbies, and friends.

Emotional Risk - Love is an emotional rollercoaster and can lead to feelings of sadness, pain, and heartbreak. When a relationship ends, it can result in intense emotional pain and it can take a long time to heal.

Loss of Independence - In a relationship, there is often a blending of lives, and one may have to make sacrifices and compromises. This can result in a loss of independence and freedom, which can be challenging for some people.

Unrealistic Expectations - People often have high expectations when it comes to love, and these expectations can be unrealistic. When reality doesn't live up to expectations, it can lead to disappointment and disillusionment.

Infidelity - Infidelity is a common issue in relationships and can cause intense emotional pain and trauma. Trust is a critical component of a relationship, and when it is broken, it can be difficult to repair.

Difficulties with Communication - Communication is key in any relationship, but it can be challenging to express one's thoughts and feelings effectively. Miscommunication can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings, which can put a strain on the relationship.

Life Changes - Life is unpredictable and things can change at any moment. People grow and change over time, and this can sometimes result in a disconnection or a mismatch in interests and goals.

Fear of Rejection - Falling in love requires vulnerability and the fear of rejection can be daunting. This fear can hold people back from pursuing love and can result in missed opportunities.

In conclusion, while falling in love can bring happiness and fulfillment, it also comes with risks and challenges. It is important to weigh the pros and cons and to consider one's own priorities, values, and life goals before pursuing love. Ultimately, the decision to fall in love is a personal one, and each person must decide what is best for them.

In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called, “All You Need Is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day.

Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a song called “Love Is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his grotesque and disturbing videos, got clean from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then canceled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father.

One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not.

In our culture, many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price.

When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like Lennon, we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect, humility, and commitment towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff—all of the hard stuff?

But if, like Reznor, we believe that “love is not enough,” then we understand that healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.

-by CHANDAN