Where's the Tea When You Are Parched?

When you have been crossed, betrayed or even hurt by someone, what is the first healthy way to control the situation?

To vent.

To talk, yammer, and cry to the next person you speak to, but what you really need to do is accept that it happened, and move on.

Easier said than done, but you really don't need a cathartic release that shapes your whole life, like in another episode of This Is Us. (I love the series, please don’t attack.)

It doesn't hurt to explain your situation with a CLOSE friend. What do I mean by close? I mean really close, to the point where you can share the color of your poop. This illustrates an accepting relationship of trust and zero judgment.

It's unhealthy to put yourself on blast. As is crying to the world—or social media—and expecting an answer. Then you get upset that no one really cares, based on the lack of responses.

If you get angry or just upset, it means you have yet to grow.

You need to let go of old tales and believe that you can make this crappy moment into a learning tool for worse situations.

I learned this four months after graduating the hellhole we call high school. For me, it took time to forgive others for stepping over me, pushing me into corners and belittling me.

These actions against me forged this pathetic epiphany: why do I bother?

Why should I show up to school when there are people who copy off each other and receive full points, meanwhile, I'm borderline passing and actually trying. Why bother to show up to class? I can't follow or ask for help, as the teacher's little pet gets all the spotlight during and after class.

Why bother when no one seems to notice my absence?

No one really asked why my GPA dropped or how my perfect attendance decreased by 15 percent in a semester.

I am just a supporting character drowning in all my insecurities and faults.

I really wish I didn't hear these words as I broke down in class and left to go the restroom: "It's only going to get worse."

This was said by a trusted mentor of mine, who didn't see my internal struggles of battles anxiety and depression at the time.

Then, just a day before graduation, as I was going to my math class to make up for a final exam (I was already failing this course), she told me the bitter truth: "You are better off going to community college." Then she began to manipulate me into thinking I would be closer to family and home.

Although I appreciate the truth, I don't think it is right to put down anyone. I wish I had more positive encouragement, rather than expectations from everyone.

Then, after a ceremony of balloons, speeches and tears, it was over. The air became fresh and crisp, my eyes were no longer half-closed, and, gradually, I lost the forty pounds I gained that year.

I am grateful for that awful, soul-crushing year. I now am moving on to positive actions, such as advocating in my community for clinical counselors to be available for the troubled youth. Then, my actions will manifest into confident and spectacular ideas and thoughts.

Now, I am still trying to escape from the desolate and lonely side of my mind. I have to acknowledge that that horrible place will be my constant companion, with bordered transparent walls acknowledging that I can’t hide. However, I can respect its presence and appreciate the journey from my destination.

This tea is bitter and had run cold. I want it over ice.