What kind of beast is "social anxiety"?

Social anxiety, sociophobia (Some people generally confuse it with sociopathy. Hahaha, it shouldn't be like that, it's a little different!) - names that at least once flashed in your spaces of the virtual, and maybe not only, world. And as if it is so clear that this is a fear that arises in situations of interaction with other people. Almost every link found on this query in Google says so. There are quite a lot of explanations on the blogs of psychologists on Instagram and TikTok. But there are still some gaps in understanding, right?

Because psychology is the science of individuality, so every phenomenon, although it has common signs, "symptoms", will still be different for everyone. And this science is developing quite quickly, so it is worth keeping up with the "updates".

But not about that. Let's start with the classic:

- What do You feel? What do you feel when you go outside? Connecting to zoom conferences, going to work?

- Nothing special, maybe some thoughts/anxieties here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary.

- Okay... I must have been in a hurry with the question, but it's really difficult to analyze it like that right away.

Let's try it this way: imagine you are leaving the subway, a crowd pours down on you, through which you get to the university. And at some point, this crowd takes on a face. It seems to you that he is looking at you. That you forgot something, that your hair doesn't stick out that way, or your skin has too many rashes, or you're not dressed right, you'd better run into the university building. Entrance doors, steps, steps, a moment to admire the view of the center of Kharkiv, steps, corridor, "Hello everyone". "Hello, hello, hello" - in response. You put your notebooks on the desk, and in your head: "Didn't I say hello strangely? Maybe I should have slowed down my breathing so they wouldn't notice that I was running? Did that sound normal at all? Shit, I somehow strangely opened the door. Didn't I walk in awkwardly?" Does it respond?

- Well, there is something.

- You can collect many such stories in a day. When I paid attention to it now - it seems so obvious, those disturbing thoughts, but if you return to everyday life, then they are lost in the chaos of routine. And it would be nothing if they did not define the same routine. Of course, there are not small disturbing thoughts, there are panic attacks, tantrums, etc. But that's already an obvious bell, isn't it?

I don't know what is written there in Chinese, but this is exactly what the disturbing thoughts look like in my imagination

As you can see, social anxiety is not something immediately obvious. Your deepest beliefs, self-esteem, general anxiety, hypercontrol, overthinking, etc. are mixed in here. So there is a lot to work with here. But gradually, with small steps, you can tame this beast and live freely. This is exactly what my series of posts "Steps from social anxiety" is aimed at. Obviously, small lanyards will not be able to replace therapy, but I hope they will be like such a light "first aid" for you.

You say:

- OK, then I will go to a psychotherapist, but how should I know which one? There are 8277828 million different directions!

- In fact, therapists/psychologists often write to themselves on social media. networks, or in questionnaires on sites for searching for such specialists.

In order not to drive yourself into a dead end, use this instruction.