What I've Been Reading About Codependency

I’ve been reading a book called The New Codependency. Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation. It is a good read from Codependent No More’s Melody Beattie. I’ve come to realize that blocking my mother on What’s App is a good solution as she picks fights on any Internet medium there is as a way to substitute picking fights in person. I realize through this book that I have to set boundaries by saying that I have to be treated a certain way or that person will not get communicated with. I will not tolerate being made to fight with this person for fun. It causes me stress, anxiety, and many a mental health problem blow out. I would go as far as to say that getting into a fight with someone triggers mania. Not even explaining that via a doctor’s note will sway my mother. Although I have contemplated getting my doctors to write letters to her, from primary care all the way down the list. I have tried time and again to set boundaries with my mother for goodness sake but nothing works.

Now I know her situation is worse, not better if she is constantly angry at something but can’t express it. I will try to sell a business plan and a phone app business plan and get myself away from this place temporarily, hiding in a hotel where they won’t know where I am. She doesn’t understand that I won’t let her go far with this fighting business. I had to block her. I was at my clinic where I can now sit in silence in my psychic head when around those also waiting to see a doctor, but I felt like she was draining me of energy, so eventually I just said, man, I have to block her. She feeds off of me where my hernia is. I can almost feel my hernia reacting. When they discovered it when I was 3 years old, they noticed it was able to be touched. It remained in my body for 35 years, without getting a pediatric endoscopy. Or an endoscopy in my 20s. Gee, hmm. I’ve had to spend time playing catch-up with various health situations. No amount of boundary setting works on my mother for goodness sake. Both parents do not respect my personal business. What meds am I on? None of your business? What are the dosages? None of your business again. When I’ve said don’t pick fights over email, text etc, what does she do? Continue to pick fights. I guess she’s addicted to fighting hormones. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed the woman doesn’t know how to function without picking a fight with me. This is why this piece is about my codependency in letting her continue to pick fights. No amount of family therapy has changed this tendency. I have stress limits. If I reach a breaking point, mania sets in as I’m a rapid cycling bipolar 1. I need to take care of myself right now.

If some fight junkie does not understand this, well, I’m going to sell my business and make money. I have two business ideas that I could sell. That could sell. That could make money. I’m not going to bother with fights. Life is too short to waste it on fighting. A friend of mine remarks on the truth, which is that I do not pick fights but other people fight with me. Why they want me to fight with them is beyond me, but I have a firm boundary: no fighting. What the hell is someone’s problem with that? My boundaries are all about my behavior, which is, I don’t want to fight, I don’t pick fights why the hell does someone else want to pick fights, rapid-cycler. I’m done fussing. I’m selling that business and moving into a hotel temporarily. I will leave a check of a year’s worth of rent, get my HOA fee transferred to me, and then sayonara. I’m not going to put up with fighting and furthermore, my success should not make you lot angry. Boundary!