What I Learn When People Are Too Focus On The Past

I was watching a drama the other day when I came across a scene that makes me wonder.

In that scene, the lead actor is asking the lead actress about her ex-lover and why does she keep hung on the past until she forgets to live in the moment and appreciate the good things that currently happening in her life now.

I realize that a lot of people keep doing that where they are too hung up on the past and to focus on the things that they have lost instead of moving forward and make use of the good things that they currently have.

Why is it keep happening? What makes it so hard to move on? It is like there is a chain that traps them so that they cannot move forward. I am sure there are a lot of people who have experienced this as well.

Some managed to get free, but not entirely free. The past will something caught up to them and once again they will be trapped.

Why do people hang-up in the past? Why can't they move forward? What is trapping them? Is there any resentment hanging? There is a lot of unanswered questions that most of them would not know how to answer.

From my point of view, the reason why it is hard to move forward is because of regret.

There are a lot of regrets that people have been carry from themselves making them unable to move forward. With this, there are two questions that keep playing in their head which is 'what if' and 'if only'.

'What if I handle it differently, will the outcome will be different'

'If only I can control my mouth, then the fight would have not happened in the first place.

'What if I can be a little bit more patient, will I be in this situation now?'

'If only I walked away sooner, will I'll be saving myself from the heartbreak?'

And the question just keeps going on and on with no definite answer. They will come up with a whole different scenario just to find a solution form the past that has been haunting them.

But, no one can turn back time. The past is the past and hence the regret.

After that, came anger. They will want to blame others for the misfortune that happening to them. 'I am the victim', they said.

It is easier to put the blame on someone rather than yourself because, at that moment, they will want to unleash the anger and regret that has been pent up inside them.

'Why can't they blame themselves?' someone may ask.

It is simple, they cannot simply hate themselves right? So, the defense mechanism that humans will do is blaming others. It is better to blame other people than blaming themselves. It is safer than having to resent themselves right?

The drama scene makes me realize the importance of letting go. You can never change what happens in the past but you can change your future.

Instead of whining around, complaining about the life that you don't want, why not doing something about it?

There is a quote saying that 'success tastes much sweeter when we know what failure tasted like'.

Seems like it is easy to understand but only a few can truly understand the feeling of success when they had been at the rock bottom before. It is true indeed.

For someone to be better, one needs to taste failure so that it can rise from the bottom. If one has never taste failure before, they will never know the real meaning of success. They wouldn't have the will to strive for the better and will stuck, feeling burn-out and lost themselves.

Besides that, in order not to repeat the same mistake is to learn from it. Engraved that in your memory so that you will never fell at the bottom again.

Life itself is a big classroom where you will learn a lot of things. Some people make uses of it while some do not. So, make your choice now.