We Often Fail When We Set Big Goals and What Actually Works

"You don't go up to the level of your goals, you go down to the level of your systems." ~ James Delete

If you suggest any inspiring video that is popular today, you will probably hear things like "Set big goals!" and "Fight up and don't stop until you get there!"

After watching a video like this, you can get inspired and start mapping your plan to leave 99 percent in the dust.

And usually, because you're riding a wave of motivation, you're going to write down these evil intentions, like Mount-Everest. These goals paint a picture of your life that is so exciting that you can’t wait to get up and start working the next morning. But when you get out of bed and look at the goals you set for yourself yesterday, the truth strikes you like a truck.

Instead of being motivated to take action, you feel a great wall of internal resistance. You want to take action. You know you need to take action. But for some reason you can't just force yourself to get the discipline you need to make progress.

So instead, you choose a less resistant approach. You return to the comfort and convenience, and decide you will wait for "just one day." One day turns into two days, two days into weeks, and weeks into months.

But fortunately, time heals all wounds, and six months later you get some encouragement and try again. This is where most people find themselves in life — sticking to a hamster wheel that develops itself.

How does this vicious cycle end? What is the best way to simplify your lifestyle?

How Big Goals Damage My Life

When I was in high school, I had ambitions to be an NBA basketball player. Unless I was 5 feet 6 inches tall, had an average speed, and was able to jump over a pile of books, I was determined to prove everyone wrong.

At this point, I did not have my driver's license yet, so my good mother would get up at 4:30 in the morning and take me to my school gym early enough to get up early before the class. To make the long story short, I was cut from the team for a few months and went to my final year, and my NBA ambitions died instantly.

When I was a freshman in college, my focus had shifted to the day of trading in the stock market. Once again, I was completely confident that I would turn daily trading into a full-time income. And again, I was wrong. The $ 1,000 I had deposited into my Robinhood account disappeared in about two months, leaving me with no financial flexibility to invest in my dream of becoming a full-time trader.

In my last year of college, I made the biggest decision I ever made in my life up to that point. Although I had good grades, I decided to quit school and start a marketing company. Let me tell you - it was one of the most emotional conversations I have ever had with my parents.

I vividly remember my own cousin telling me, "I think you will regret this decision for the rest of your life." However, I was not included, because I knew in my heart that I needed to shoot this. A month after I told my parents I wanted to quit school, I was on a plane back home to California.

Once again, I found myself in a familiar place - just a child following his heart with great intentions.

Filled with love and drive, I set myself the goal of building an agency at $ 50,000 / month with revenue the following year. To that end, I committed at least two hours a day of searching, as well as another two hours to teach myself about the real estate industry.

In the meantime, I think you can see where this is going. Fifteen months ago, I worked hard to achieve my goals, but the highest monthly rate I reached was $ 6,000 / month. Without a desire to taste riches and success, I had failed too.

It was at this point in my life that I took a step back and meditated deeply. After all, I was just following the wisdom of the successful people who had been preaching for decades — set big goals and never give up until you reach your goal.

Was it me who failed or was it my plan? Why do so many people, including me, continue to set unreachable goals for themselves? Meditating on these questions has led me to explore the world of self-improvement.

The Power of Self-Determination

I have always loved to improve myself, but I have never considered science and research after that which helps with the change of real behavior. My research eventually led me to two life-changing conclusions:

Setting big goals does not do more harm than good for people who want to change their lives.

Real change of behavior occurs when you commit to small changes, which seem insignificant in your daily behavior.

After spending hundreds of hours researching habits, behavioral changes, and neuroscience, I finally had the time to say “aha” that changed my whole outlook on life. The deadly problem with setting big goals is that they focus on the results we want to achieve unlike the kind of person we want to be.

The greatest force in the human body is the desire to keep up with what we have been in the past. Behaviors that are not in line with your personality will not last, which is why big goals are often difficult to achieve.

You may have the goal of building a $ 1 million business, but if your ownership is the one that is being pushed back by important work, it is unlikely that you will achieve that goal. You may have the goal of losing weight, but if your identity goes with someone who eats a regular diet and lives a sedentary lifestyle, you will continue to be drawn into actions that undermine your weight loss goals.