Waiting For It Isn't Chasing It

What are you waiting for? Why aren't you out moving, going after it? What's holding you back?

There are plenty of things to hold a person back. They're the reasons dreams go unrealized. And they're all valid, from a certain point of view. That's the trick, right?

Are you not listening?

Feelings are valid. Feelings are also our own worst enemies. Our feelings can do one of two things. They can hold us back, or spur us forward.

• Fear

• Anxiety

• Heartache

• Frustration

• Uncertainty

• Insecurity

• Being overwhelmed

They're all understandable. We all have them, and we all have suffered from them. But what are they?

Fear is the most common. What exactly are we so afraid of? Failure, getting hurt again, looking foolish, disappointment, etc....?

Failure is a way of learning how not to do something. The more you learn how not to do something, the closer you get to figuring out how to do something right. It was something we learned when we were learning how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to do laundry, and how to cook for ourselves. Yet, when we get older, that fear of failure takes on new meaning. Somehow, it can become heavier.

Anxiety? Anxiety is a form of fear, and a form of excitement. But the fear overwhelms us, and we forget to embrace the excitement of the day. This isn't to say that people don't suffer anxiety. For some, the chemical reaction going on in their bodies is too much, and they can have petrifying attacks. But for the average person, sometimes, anxiety about something can hold them back.

Heartache? You've been heartbroken over something. It can ache inside, break you to your knees, and leave you in tears. Heartache can come from many different things. The loss of a loved one, a domestic breakup, first love traumas, never feeling included, etc... For all the heartaches we have in our lives, it's amazing when some people get out of bed.

Frustration! Frustration is most commonly caused by feeling like you can't get past some problem, some complication, or some hurdle, no matter how hard you try. So, eventually, you may decide to stop trying. And that's alright. Sometimes, to figure out what to do, we have to take a step back and look at things with a clearer head. Typically, if a person is patient, they'll learn one of two things. How to do it the right way, or that it wasn't something they could do without learning more, or asking for assistance.

Uncertainty is the real monster. It can bring on other feelings. As you stand at the fork in the road, uncertainty can give you fears about going the wrong direction in life. That fear can create anxiety. It's normal to hit times of uncertainty. But the trick to uncertainty is that if you aren't moving, you're doing nothing. People can experience success only by taking calculated, informed risks. When you're uncertain, step back and focus on what you don't know that will point you to the most likely right direction.

Insecurities suck. No, that's not a professional way of saying it, but it's the truth. Our insecurities are like giant anchors with four-foot-wide chain links being thrown to us in the middle of a bay. Not only will they hold us in place, but they'll drown us, eventually. And unfortunately, there are no easy fixes for insecurities. Self-affirmations are good to help with these, but it takes time. It takes some more than others. Give yourself time, but remember, you are only as bad or inept, unskilled or unworthy of things, as you believe you are.

And

Overwhelmed.

The world is a more overwhelming place than ever before. From political nonsense permeating most of our news feeds, to the endless wars we've seen pop up during the last 25 years, to the ignorance of how our fellow citizens view things and act out on the streets, it's all overwhelming. But we can choose how to respond to all these overwhelming things. We can let the things that bother us become barriers to happiness, or we can choose to live our lives. On this one, I'll comment personally.

Just a couple of years ago, a man stuck the barrel of a Glock 22 in my face one night. He pointed it at several of us. Some who were there, and on the wrong side of the gun, couldn't face the world the next day. And had I known that, I'd have taken the time to go talk to them.

But that very next day, I got up, ran errands, went to the grocery store, caught a movie, and called my loved ones to see what they were doing and catch up. On Monday, I was back at work. I lived my life. This was possible because reality sets in. I survived. And for every scary, hard, troubling, traumatic thing that happens to people in this world, there are survivors. My anger far outweighed my fear. But I chose to be angry about it instead of letting that event choose my path forward.

What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the world to make it easier on you? That's not going to happen. It's likely to be the opposite. Because what a wise old actor said in a movie is true.

"The world will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it."

-Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone)

I know, it's a movie. But some of the smartest lines ever written were written by a writer, and that includes movie writers. And they're written for moments on the screen that can convey a message.

And that's where the message of this story is going. Because there was a movie that I was watching, and I took the actress's words to heart.

If you haven't seen the movie Twisters with Glen Powell, I'd highly recommend. The cowboy-mentality tornado wrangler has a saying. At the end of the movie, as Kate's preparing to get on a plane and go back to New York, Powell's character isn't saying what he wants to say. But when it becomes clear that she's not certain where she stands, she uses his saying.

"If you feel it, you gotta chase it,"

-Twisters, Glen Powell

And isn't that what we're all supposed to do to find happiness?