Unresolved

Anger, fear, or love can cause outstanding achievements or tragedies. Rarely do emotions and logic agree on any topic. Typically, most emotional exchanges have a lifespan. People often see feelings change along with perspective, and resolution occurs between all parties.

However, there is a period where resolution occurs to end a situation or create a grudge. If two groups address emotion, it is valued and placed in an orderly position to help better frame or build a relationship. Yet, an argument must be addressed in this period to avoid becoming an obstacle.

An unresolved emotion is a wall that blocks a relationship from continuing. It can prevent any further progress in the lives of vested groups. It simply stops discourse and undermines trust.

In my family, I have seen this happen all too often. A misunderstanding or questionable motives create doubt or hurt feelings that must be addressed. But, parties try to avoid discussion and keep the peace when no peace exists. An emotional war of silence festers in the unsaid phrases that hide in short closed-ended statements. Non-committal gestures replace genuine discussion, and discourse is no more.

Some relationships are better served by having the edge of an unresolved issue or topic. Some people seem to be driven by chaos. Resolution may seem boring to those who crave excitement. But can a relationship have any measure of trust amid a lingering disagreement?

I struggle with the idea of leaving things in emotional discussion under the status of uncertainty. To move forward, all items must conclude by building on their results. Conflict without end is simply a conversation that does allow any other collaboration between those interacting in the battle.

My Father-In-Law loves to throw around the idea of "you can either be right, or you can have a relationship." I can't entirely agree with the principle, but it does make sense that finding a correct point of view or not coming to a conclusion in arguments has only two options. Individuals can either take a stance and hash it out or exist under constant pressure to force a discussion to be ignored.

Ultimately, if a fight or disagreement does not have a finale, it could be argued that it is still ongoing. The longer a fight lasts, the more the combatants get injured. The longer a misunderstanding continues, the more hurt feelings develop sadly; while the emotions may remain clear, why or how they developed becomes less visible.

A fight can last well past the initial groups. Friends and family members may take up arms in the place of one of the primary constituents. And these secondary contingents may continue to spawn new tertiary members who understand less of the reasoning behind the fight as the unresolved becomes a chronic emotional condition.

How natural is this process during our lives? Is it more typical to have many conflicts that never become settled in our existence? It may be normal to have some fights that never finish. Some relationships may never be destined to progress past acquaintanceship or may not become friendships. The undertone of non-resolution is a reminder of who we can count on for life support.

Regardless of the ultimate fate of any relationship, an outcome will occur. If a continued growing relationship is desired, no matter how difficult, we must face down emotional discussions and move to repair the injured and offended. If we do not act, the only thing that will remain is not the relationship, just the argument. And, if all that one possesses is an argument, what other consequences may follow that tethered emotion?

The M.A.D. Dad