Change

No matter how old I get, fear will always find me. I hope that in the times I have struggled or risked to achieve that, I will no longer fret over things, but I still do. Currently, I am looking at a substantial professional opportunity; it seems dreamlike, but despite the imagination of beautiful possibilities that could stem from this chance, I am concerned about the nightmare posed if it does not work.

I can't help but reflect on something I heard once while watching a college football game. The commentator for the television coverage criticized the coach's decisions by saying, "he is coaching not to lose." That observation has always stuck with me. Are there times when I am only focused on avoiding a loss?

The premise of avoiding loss seems almost ludicrous in this world. We lose things all of the time. First, we are always losing time. We can manage it, save time for other activities, move times for appointments, and waste time, but we cannot stop time or save it forever, it must eventually be given to loss. From the beginning, we are exposed to loss in every aspect. We constantly lose money to buy objects or food. We lose the resources we use at some point. Many relationships are lost in the course of a lifetime. And, several of these mentioned things, we expect and sometimes are ok with losing. But why do we selectively start to fear loss for certain items?

My initial thought is based on emotions attached to an event revolving around losing a particular object, person, thing, etc. The trauma causes the decision tree philosophy to shift from gain or victory to defeat. Much like the coach in the sporting event from earlier, we start to focus primarily on the decision to avoid losing. It is futile from a rational viewpoint. To do anything, an individual has to sacrifice, spend or lose something else. The cost in these times overrides the potential gain, but while an individual may feel that they are not losing, the reality is that loss has occurred.

So, is it bad or good to focus on loss as a motivational factor for choice? Maybe and maybe not. It is prudent to observe the dangers or consequences of any given choice. But, if the only thing seen is loss, then the question becomes if loss is the reason for a choice or fear of failure. This line of thought moves further from the goal and eventually ignores the idea of success or gain entirely.

Should success always be the focus of choices? No. Some wins in life cost too much. That perspective may be up to the individual to decide on how much cost is too much, but like there are limits to examing loss or failure, there are limits to success. A gain has not occurred if you win a million dollars in the lottery but spent 5 million dollars buying lottyet to occur

So, how to proceed should be a marriage of comparison. How much is this success worth? How much is the potential failure, or what is the actual potential cost of a given opportunity? Also, can delaying an event improve either factor in our decision-making process? The battle should be equal between the concepts, but neither should dominate. An individual can win and lose without catastrophe.

So, taking my advice, I will work to win but count the cost to determine if something is worth to potential risk. I hope that each of you will do the same. Loss and Success are normal. However, sometimes we humans make it unnatural.

Thanks,

The M.A.D. Dad