To Sleep Perchance To Dream

Is this real or am I dreaming? Do you ever think that when you're asleep? Hollywood is full of movies and series asking that same question. Am I awake or am I dreaming? I have asked myself that while dreaming and even found myself stopping and asking, what does this mean? What does it all mean? Then the dream stops, pauses, and fades away as I begin to wake up to darkness and ask again, what the heck does that mean?

What does any of it mean as images fade in and out, stories begin and stop mid-stream. How is it in that moment I remember the details but when awake they fade away? Have you been able to control a dream while you're in it? I haven't but I have been able to slow it down. Strange, right? The repeated dream of my car being stolen or driving up a steep hill and feeling it slip beneath me. Or even driving and the car disappears beneath me and I'm all of a sudden walking. No, I can't control it but I have stopped it and said, "I know this is a dream." Sometimes it continues as if I said nothing and other times it fades away and I slowly wake up to darkness.

When dreams don't make sense, I have always dismissed them as a "brain dump". A collection of thoughts from the previous days got all mixed up and the brain just needed to release them so new ideas could come in. Or is there a message in there waiting for me?

I journal a lot, it helps me feel better about chaos as well as keeps me focused and grounded. As this year's resolution, I'm going to be journaling my dreams every single day. No matter how much or how little I remember of them I'm going to write them down. Trying to remember the order that they happened and include details of whether or not it was in color or black and white, names of the people present, objects, and animals. If one thing stands out more than the other, I'll search for the meaning in my reliable dream dictionary.

Then see if it matches with what is currently going on or if it is about something that is going to happen. However, I can't help but think of the Star Wars character Master Yoda and when he says, "careful you must be when sensing the future...difficult to see, always in motion is the future." I hope to become more grounded and more sensitive to the messages that are being sent from above.

I have lost my ability to trust and believe in the Universe around me. The last two years have been a struggle for me, financially, mentally, my health, careers, relationships, and friendships have all been tested and tried, and even lost.

I've tried meditation and reiki several times, I usually get about two or three or more sessions in, and then my mind starts screaming at me. Flashing images of the past, present, and future desires before me. Always dark and always loud, making it impossible to let go, forget, forgive, and move forward. I believe my dreams are where the answers lie to be more secure and stronger in all that I do and ask from the Universe.

Journaling has been a solid part of the last year, the more consistent I am with it the better things are and the more I acknowledge the dreams and what I saw the more clear messages become. It is only through laziness, stress, and fear that I stop the practice and the positivity fades away. I vow for the year 2022 to keep the journaling of my dreams and events going regardless of what is going on. Even if it is to say, last night I dreamt but don't remember the details.

May this year make all of your dreams come true.