This time of growth

The social media was erupting with news clips of different States claiming Marshall Law and Army tanks rolling down streets. I was managing a thrift store and felt my life was going nowhere. I was certainly living my best life of lack. Lack of friends, love, money, ambition, creativity, the list goes on and on.

I spent most days waiting for customers to come into the store and most that did were just dropping stuff off after cleaning out there homes, closets, garages, so on and so forth. I didn't even feel I had time for that. Don't get me wrong, I loved that I had a job, I loved making money for my brother, who owned the store, but felt that I needed more.

I would stare out the window watching cars drive by, living their lives. No Army tanks rolling in here. I started daydreaming about what I could do if I was forced to stay home. Clean out my house? Create a new life? Meditate? Find myself and my soul purpose? I wanted to work on me more than anything in the world. I wanted to find a life that didn't feel like work. A life that felt like play but made so much money I didn't have a care in the world. I wanted to write, read, learn, forgive, forget.

Then one morning I was woken to a rumbling that sounded to me as though a helicopter was hovering just over my house. I ran to the window to look out and see if the Army tanks were finally here as well, I didn't see anything. Then my neighbors were dragging there son out to the yard, and my window began shaking. I was half asleep and still clueless. Then it hit me, Earthquake.

By the time I was waking kids up it was over. I don't live in a State that gets many earthquakes, when I do hear of one I haven't felt it. I turned on the news, for the first time in a long, long while, and listened to them tell us it was quite large. We stayed home that day, aftershocks occurring throughout the day. The following day at work I cleaned up a few broken glasses and returned to my day dreaming. Still no Army tanks.

The Covid flu finally hit the USA. We were told to stay home, not that it mattered, everyone else was being laid off, or furloughed, so we were getting no business anyway. My brother told me to stay home for a couple weeks. I was in heaven. I slept in, stayed up late, played with the grand kids, read books, and meditated.

Months went by, my son moved to another state with his family and my daughter and I were alone. No job to speak of even though I had been applying at quite a few. My mind set though was still of lack. Lack of jobs, lack of ambition, lack of passion. Therefore lack of job. Money was running out and time was even lacking.

I started praying that someone would find me. That someone would see potential in me through one of my online profiles with my resume. One day I got the text, saying they thought I might be good, because of my resume. I have a lifetime of customer service. I went to their overview, I normally wouldn't have even continued on, you have to get a license with the State, you have to speak to people that you know, people that you don't know, you have to get referrals, and build your own business. I stepped out of my comfort zone and signed up.

That brings me to where I am now. Almost. I am days away from the licensing test. I have a third job interview for another full time job in Customer service also in two day. Bills are behind but I have since stopped worrying about that. People get behind. It's not the end of the world. It's the beginning.

For I have found enlightenment since that day of the earthquake. Most nights I sleep better, I have read some things that have triggered a deeper learning inside of me. Things that years ago I would have laughed at. Now though... well let's just say it resonates with me.

I'm a different person than I was even last year. I know that everything happens for a reason. We make our lives exactly what they are. If they are full of lack it is because that is what we have attracted to us. Instead of focusing on the greatness in myself, the positive qualities, the things that I am passionate about and long for, I have been all my life focusing on what I didn't want. What I lacked.

I have taken responsibility for that life I hated, and I am in the process of letting it go. Replacing it with a life that I do want. A life I love, that is full of abundance in everything. Finances, happiness, love, positivity, self love, hope, passion. I admit, I'm new to this new life, and on occasion find myself still dwelling on the lack, but for the most part, I know what I need to do. I know how to break the generational curses of lack.

My entire life, I heard, how there wasn't enough. Not enough food, money, work, time, the list goes on and on. I was taught to care what others think, and not to be greedy, not to be indulgent. Give to others but not to yourself. Pay what you can and move things around to keep everything paid. Take care of yourself because nobody else is going to. Well some of that is true.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because we are all on our own journey, our own timeline, and we all see things from our own experiences and perspectives. We can make our lives whatever we want to make them, we just have to feel passion for what we want. The Universe works on frequency. On vibration. If you vibes are high, and you are passionate about money coming to you, it will come. You don't have to worry how, just that you are on the right frequency to draw it in.

If you love yourself, take care of yourself, the rest falls into place. Look inward to find the true you, because outward is only what others see you as and it doesn't matter what others see. Most people don't even know themselves so they really don't know you. To find yourself and get on your true path you need to seek inside you. You need to know you. The good, the bad, the ugly. We are not perfect for we are humans in a 3D existence. We make mistakes, we are flawed. If we look inside though, our spirits are hiding. They know what is best for us, they know what we should do, where we should go, what is best for us.

See it, feel it, really feel it. Be passionate about what you want, and why you want it. Do you want a new car because you need it or because you love the feel of the leather steering wheel, the smell of the new car as you speed down the freeway, the radio blasting, the air conditioner blowing your hair. Do you want the big house on the hill because it's what everyone else wants or because when you were a kid and your parents drove by you daydreamed of your friends sitting around the pool, holiday parties with your kids and Grand kids all coming to visit, the lights twinkling, present being ripped open, a fire in the fireplace, or maybe you want to travel, explore new country sides, learn new languages.

Whatever it is you can have it, do it, see it, own it. You can be at peace while the world is in turmoil. You can be healthy while the rest of the world is focused on a virus that barely kills and even when it does, it's usually from underlying conditions.

It's all in your vibration. It's all in the frequency. Our bodies are made to fight off viruses, Herbs and veggies are made to keep our immune up, Sunshine is needed to do that as well. We can heal ourselves, we draw to us what we dwell on, what we vibrate. If we are vibrating high, drawing on abundance and wellness that is exactly what we are going to get. Now I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm not saying I'm always on high vibration, never stressing never having panic attacks because I would be lying.

This world is full of fear. Fear is used to keep the masses doing as they are told. It's not our fault we are conditioned to believe we have no control. We are conditioned to believe we can't. It's how we are controlled and most of us are so stuck in that Matrix that we may never come out of it. But since the day I came out of it, I have been relieved, focusing on bettering my life, keeping my vibration up and trying to remember that everyone rises at their own pace.

Some days are easier than others, some days are more sunny than most. The road is still long, there is still hard work to do, but I can do it. I can make my life exactly what I want it to be. I can be and do whatever I want. I just have to move forward, keep my vibration high, and focus on me. When I start to doubt myself, I just picture myself sitting in the store, wishing for Marshall law to keep my inside where I can fight for me. Because I dreamed of these opportunities, I practically begged for them. So I'm going to take the time to do what I need to for me. I'm going to find my passion and see it in my mind, feel it in my heart, and take the leap, and if the rest of the world was smart they would do the same. because peace is only a thought away.