The Shepherd

Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15 NIV

Defeated, Azriel Wren reclined backward along the grass.

Things hadn’t gone quite as he planned, and now, without a purpose or plan, he laid in silence, heart heavy. His pale green eyes observed the shifting clouds above but no longer offered him the comfort he once found.

It was like a dagger embedded into his heart.

And his mistakes twisted the blade. Tortuous pain that never ceased. Azriel thought everything would have worked out. To be a merchant was his dream.

Only it hadn’t.

One bad deal led to many, and before he knew it, he had gone under before he had even started. His family, in their shameful disappointment, turned him out. The cruel voice of his father echoed in his mind.

“All of your siblings have done well except for you!”

“You’re on your way to living under a bridge.”

“What a loser.”

Gritting his teeth, Azriel blinked, fighting back tears. However, he was powerless to stop the few that streamed down his face. Azriel knew he shouldn’t cry.

His fingers dug into the grass and he shredded it to pieces. Azriel glared up at the sky that was so endless and free.

Freedom is something I shall never have, he thought bitterly, There is no freedom from my mistakes or disappointments. Only condemnation. Only shame.

“You can’t do anything right.”

Azriel’s hands came up to cover his ears. A vain attempt to silence the callous voices. Each belonged to a family member and friend. All tore into him. With each passing moment, the cacophony grew louder.

Silence. Azriel yearned for it.

The knife at his side looked inviting.

Just as his fingers touched the handle, he heard it. A soft mewling to the right of him. Following the noise, Azriel came face-to-face with a lamb. Azriel could only blink, confused as it head-butted him.

Bewildered, he sat up, unsure what to do. What was a lamb doing out here all alone?

From what he could see, there were no nearby flocks. As his eyes scanned the grassy field, he could find no one. No sheep, let alone any other people.

“Where did you come from, little one?” he questioned, reaching tentatively to stroke the creature’s head.

The lamb nuzzled against his hand, mewling, before climbing onto his lap. Azriel went rigid.

Lifting the lamb off him, Azriel sat it down. “I’m not a bed.”

Wagging its tail, the lamb jumped onto his lap once more. This time Azriel stood up, bringing the lamb with him. Walking away from his resting spot, Azriel placed the babe down.

“Stay,” he ordered before walking away.

Rustling grass behind him told Azriel the lamb was following. Sighing, he turned around standing with his arms akimbo. The lamb wagged its tail, bleating.

For several minutes, Azriel attempted to dissuade the creature from following. Everything he tried ended in failure. Eventually, Azriel gave up, plopping back onto the ground, he let the lamb do as it pleased.

Now what?

Azriel had nothing but the clothes on his back and a lamb that refused to leave his side. Not exactly what he wanted.

So, Azriel sat in silence as he stroked the lamb napping on his legs. A tapestry of warm colors highlighted the sky, prompting him to wonder where he will sleep tonight. Yet another item added to his list of worries.

So lost in thought, Azriel never heard the crunching grass behind him.

“You found my lost lamb,” a gentle voice spoke from behind.

Surprised, Azriel jumped, the movement jostled the sleeping lamb, which grumbled in discontent. Azriel’s heart raced in his chest as an amused laugh filled the air.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Turning around, Azriel found a shepherd smiling at him. Azriel noted he was plain like all the other shepherds he had seen before.

The shepherd wore a simple white robe with a purple sash wrapped around his chest. Brown hair framed his face, falling to his shoulders.

What was most mesmerizing were the shepherd’s eyes. They were a blue that Azriel found himself fumbling to describe.

The color of the sea, perhaps? No, that’s not it. The sky? Not that either.

Perhaps if he thought more, he would find his answer.

“Is there something on my face?” the man questioned as he wiped his face with his sleeves.

Azriel’s face burned as he realized he never replied back to him.

“No, there’s nothing there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, ” Azriel said. He turned his face away in embarrassment.

Reaching down, he plucked up the lamb, causing another round of wailing indignation as he handed it over to the shepherd.

“They kinda found me,” he mumbled as the babe in his grasp flailed about.

Smiling, the shepherd took the lamb, cradling it in his arms as he kissed the top of its head before taking a seat next to Azriel. “Nevertheless, thank you. I’m just glad Gertrude here was found safe and sound, I’ve been looking all day for her. She, like many others, is ever adventurous and likes to wander off, oftentimes it takes days of calling till they’re found.”

How odd.

Frowning, Azriel tilted his head in confusion. “Why spend all that time looking for one or two lost sheep? Surely, you could buy a new one in the market or something.”

Azriel recalled once meeting a few shepherds in the past who often complained of their wandering sheep who sometimes got lost or devoured by the local wildlife. Sometimes, they bought new ones. Other times if the sheep was found, the shepherd would break its leg and in nursing it back to health, the sheep would become endeared to the shepherd thus never wandering again.

The shepherd’s eyes met Azriel’s as he smiled. Azriel could see nothing but overflowing love and kindness. It was dizzying. For a split second, Azriel felt like it was directed toward him.

“I could, but I won’t. You see, each sheep I have is family, and when one wanders off, it pains me, so I get up and search. I would die for my flock,” the shepherd explained.

Azriel felt that the last line was a bit excessive.

But another question was raised. “What about the rest of the flock? You can’t leave them alone, the wild animals could get them.”

“Aha, rightly so, but they’re not alone for my father watches them while I’m away searching for our lost little ones. He watches them with a careful, loving eye and provides for them.”

Blinking, Azriel shook his head as he pulled his knees to his chest. How very bizarre. This man was different from other shepherds. And his father, it seemed, was understanding of his plights rather than against them.

“You’re strange,” Azriel mumbled to himself.

Laughing, the shepherd handed Azriel a large piece of freshly baked bread. “I’m aware, but here, my friend. As a thank you for caring for my lost lamb.”

At first, Azriel was unsure of what to do because this was the first act of kindness he had received in…Well, he couldn’t remember.

A stranger was sharing food with him even though he didn’t care for Gertrude at all. She had found him, deciding he would make a good bed.

The strangeness of the shepherd kept mounting.

So, Azriel took the bread not wanting to be rude.

It smelled amazing as he took a whiff. The scent of honey had Azriel’s mouth watering, as his stomach growled. Azriel took a small bite. A burst of flavor danced along his tongue. Soon, he took another, larger bite.

Azriel stuffed as much bread as he could into his mouth. Never had he tasted anything so wonderful.

Soon, Azriel was crying. The dagger embedded in his heart slipped free, spilling forth all his emotions. Everything flowed freely. Now, Azriel was babbling. Confessing to the shepherd all his woes. Telling him all that his family and friends had uttered.

As Azriel cried, the shepherd offered him comfort. Rubbing his back as Azriel leaned against his chest, gripping at his robe. Azriel wanted the pain to go away. He wanted the negative voices to stop.

Azriel knew what his mistakes cost him. Would things ever get better? Would the storm of his life finally cease?

For what felt like years, Azriel sobbed his heart out. And when he finally did stop crying, the stars shone above.

Sniffling, Azriel pulled away from the shepherd who offered him a smile and not judgment like he thought. Instead, the shepherd wiped his face clean and hefted him to his feet.

“Follow me,” the shepherd said.

Baffled, Azriel raised a brow. “To where?”

“Anywhere, everywhere. Your mistakes do not define you, so come with me and I shall give you rest. Doubtless, my father will be pleased to meet you. I imagine he’ll throw a grand party, and you’ll wear the finest clothing we have.”

Everything felt too good to be true, and yet…Azriel shook his head. “But you don’t know me.”

What’s the catch?

The shepherd smiled, his blue eyes twinkling like stars in the moonbeams. “I know more than you think.”

Shoulders slumping, Azriel looked up towards the dark field of grass. Out there he knew there was nothing, but with this man, this plain shepherd, there was something. He didn’t know what, but Azriel was curious enough to find out.

Turning back, he nodded. “I’ll go with you.”

The love and excitement in the shepherd’s eyes filled Azriel with a weird sense of joy that he hadn’t felt before.

As the two of them walked off into the unknown, for the first time in a long time, Azriel felt hope welling up within him. Like a flower blooming after a long winter, he somehow knew that things would begin to look up.

It may not always be easy, and he may not always be assured happiness, but Azriel knew that he would live on. That this shepherd would help him. He would show him the way.

They would walk together.