The "self" in the eyes of others is not oneself

When we were children, we looked forward to the praise of our teachers.

When we grow up, we look forward to the approval of our bosses.

After marriage, we look forward to understanding the other half

No matter what, we all look forward to being affirmed by others and getting satisfaction from it.

However, is it really good to put the decision in the hands of others?

You will be able to get a lot more than just a few of these.

In the second half of life, care how others see them, they are happy.

1、Lower expectations

The world of people" in the youngest son Tony, in the eyes of others, is not as good as his brother and sister, and even counted as "silly" man, but is a real effort to carry the entire Zhou family with their people.

However, his efforts are no better than his brother and sister who went to college and did not get his father's affirmation.

Every time at the family reunion, Mr. and Mrs. Tony was busy with family affairs, but everyone praised his brother and sister, no one mentioned him, and even his father only told him to learn more from his brother and sister.

At that moment, he was really sad and angry.

For the sake of this family, he was the one who gave the most, and he was the one who did not receive any recognition.

Maybe his father only wanted him to get better before he said that, but in his eyes, it was his father's denial of his efforts.

It's a long process to get your family's approval, and you want to give up but you don't want to.

But if you expect too much, you will inevitably get hurt.

Rather than expecting recognition from others, it is better to work hard to improve yourself so that others cannot ignore you.

Today's casual treatment is just because the climb is not high enough.

2、Be brave and be yourself

People's rebellion, no matter when, will always come.

However, not many dare to derail.

Because of the education from childhood, they are eager to get the approval of others, but also slowly lose themselves in the attention.

They are taught what to do, never thought about what they want, will only blindly follow others to integrate into the group, and when the rebellious period comes, want to escape from the "arranged life", but do not know where they should go, so not long to go back again.

We are not like this, overly concerned about how others see us, ignoring their wants.

It is rare to be brave once, but also because of the scruples and tied up, and finally can only return to the original life.

It is clear that you do not want to say, but do not dare to say, the result can only be aggravated.

Just like before to go to the supermarket to buy things, obviously do not want the supermarket as change for the candy, but because others did not say "do not", afraid to say do not look different, you can only force yourself to accept the unwanted things, and finally more and more candy at home.

Others may not even look at you, you think the "attention" is just you thinking too much.

Even, if you expect others to approve of you, is itself wrong.

Because, if you do not recognize yourself, how can others recognize you?

There is this time to guess how others see themselves, rather than spend more time improving themselves, brave to be themselves.

As long as you are good enough, there will be less attention.

People are more or less "snobbish", you have a bad time, do not even look at you, you have a good time, but will rush to the door to find you.

Therefore, the courage to do their own, as long as hard enough, good enough, will certainly be able to see.

3.

Life sometimes is like this.

Only strong enough to have a sense of existence, otherwise you expect again, others also when you are air.

The more you try, the luckier you will be.

The more you work hard, the luckier you will be. The only thing you can hold firmly in your own hands is life.