The Reflective Discovery

It’s very interesting how we learn and come across new findings. Through the years of “surviving” life and finding oneself I came across a familiar face of which I was not expected to come across. One of the old group of friends that I used to be apart of before disbandment is where I met them. At the time I was very sheltered and had walls put them to prevent any pain and growth to develop for me. Now in my mind I thought of him as someone who was eager and ready to take on the world but as for me, my emotions wasn’t fully acknowledged and thus me becoming oblivious to the potential of what could have been.

These group of individuals can be more prescribed like a possy where we meet every other week to just play video games, rollerblade and things of that nature. An amateur skate group with the mentality of challenging other skate groups for praise and acknowledgement. I wasn't really good to be honest, just a lot of spirit and determination.

Each person in the group had certain rolls to bare so we can have a specialty at one thing like the power rangers. Interesting nonetheless; I became the sidewinder, the hidden gem if you will. A secret weapon that hid his abilities. In this case I was hiding a lot of emotions and holding myself back from the world because I never truly knew what I was capable of. So this kid whom some new from school becomes part of our group because he wanted to be with friends and make new ones.

Known as the guy with heart he was always the one who did his best and committed to the thing he did. Not realizing it he would be the guy I would connect with among all the others. Practicing everyday to get better I challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone by trying out different things. By building character & learning new techniques I become not only a better person but I develop new perspectives of the world.

Everyday I go on adding this pressure of “am I good enough” to myself due to my upbringing. What I tend to be is in the moment, now with the knowledge & experience that I have obtained. It doesn’t feel like I am at my best self but I’m getting closer to it. With every experience & opportunity to step outside my comfort zone & push forward I get that much closer to evolving.

My first evolution was after college. I had been going through job after job gaining experience & trying to learn valuable skills to be able go up against my toughest opponents. What I tend to find was that been putting myself through lower level challenges that doesn’t really give much payout. It felt like it would take me a long time to get the experience that I deserve. All that included I came across a opportunity that helped me evolve into the next stage of my life.

The transistion was difficult. Becoming an actual adult compared to a young adult involved a lot of responsibilities. Learning finances of not only myself but those that needed it. On top of that taking charge of my habits & the opportunity to do things for me & not necessarily for someone else felt exciting & exhilarating. Being able to love what I do & feel like I’m having a good time was what I was thriving for. Which this new found move I was able to feel the freedom & strength of an “adult” that was me at the time. Little did I know it all wasn’t what it seemed.

Towards the end of my training I have obtained items & effort values that would rapidly boost me past my young adult life & into a new evolution. With the overwhelming experience & knowledge, I quickly forget what’s important & the foundation that’s needed to withhold. Like Pokémon I forget the signature move in order to learn the stronger move. In doing so I replaced what should be kept close & embraced what became of it.

Knowing what I know now I learn the various ways of growing & understand the the concept of “hard work” that takes part into the leveling game. That being said, I continue to build my competitive nature into the self that the me back in high school always wanted. Always kind & yet proud & strong within thyself to push through my obstacles. Having allies that will become the anchor & extensions of who I am & who I will continue to be. Greatful & humbled reaching level 100 isn’t what I want to remain as when I get there but to continue training in order to extend the knowledge of self & exist among everyone.

As if to create offspring I gliche in ways to nearly pass on my existing knowledge onto others & remain the idea of me alive. To preserve who I am like moss to a forest, forever nurturing & forever growing. To grow within the minds of all & exist without the use of sensitive withholdings. So I remain forever growing & become me.