The Power of Positive Emotions

I don’t know much. I can only retain so many hard facts in any given moment, but one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that it is important to feel good. Another is that we are uniquely capable of self-generating positive emotions and experiences that allow us to feel good. The last is that the world we live our day to day life in is abundant with opportunities to experience positive emotions and feel good, if even just for a moment, and in even greater proportions than there are opportunities for negative emotions. Our free will to choose and focus our attention makes it so we can access a more positive experience if we choose to open ourselves to the possibilities that already exist. This, and this alone, has the capacity to transform our lives in any way we wish, almost like magic. This is our birthright. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and the best part is that it is probably easier than you think! I would even go as far as to say it is the most necessary piece in our overall evolution as a human race at this time.

I will support these truths with ideas, words, and studies from great minds in various fields including neurologist and author, Dr. Joe Dispenza, endocrinologist and expert in mind-body healing, Dr. Deepak Chopra (and his colleagues at the Chopra Center), psychologist and professor, Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology, Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., and channeler, author, and inspirational speaker, Esther Hicks (Abraham). Before I dive in though, let me address something I know many of you might be thinking. For my cynics out there (is this you? maybe? sometimes?), I am sure you are tired of hearing all the woo-woo new age talk expressing the dire, if not desperate, need for positivity. All the memes and quotes floating around that ultimately make you feel like crap if you find yourself in a ‘bad mood’...

“LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.” - but what if I don’t feel that?

“Everything happens for a reason.” - this is actually a personal favorite, but I am well aware how played out it is and that it is simply not enough to justify something that feels bad or wrong. Like, what is the reason for that, amiright?

“YOLO!” - not the worst, but often used as an excuse to completely ignore negative emotions and go out doing reckless (albeit, thrilling) activities.

And of course, “GOOD VIBES ONLY.” - this one is just rude.

So let's take a moment to distinguish the difference between valuing positive emotions and experiences to an extreme (i.e. you’re not invited to life if you engage with negative emotions), and simply making positive emotions and experiences a priority.

One is forced and doesn't always feel good. The other is about being open and tending to your space (physical, mental, & spiritual) to allow positive experiences to be realized.

One pins negative experiences as bad. The other recognizes negative experiences as natural, human, and a necessary / valuable contrast to positive experiences.

One comes from a place of control and fear. The other comes from a place of allowing and love.

One induces shame around negative emotions. The other encourages processing & expressing negative emotions in a healthy way.

One requires unreasonable expectations. The other embodies a holistic and sustainable way of life.

It turns out that forcing people into positivity can backfire. For example, putting pessimists into a positive mood not only hurts performance, but it can also actually make them feel more anxious. Sometimes we use worry and other negative outcomes to help us. Also, suppression and other forms of emotional avoidance are not good for well-being. So if positivity doesn't feel right for you, or doesn't feel right in a specific situation, that's okay.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. "The Power of Positivity". Psychology Today, Jan 01, 2021.

I don't want you to feel bad about feeling bad, or to shove your negative emotions somewhere deep and force a smile on your face when you don’t mean it. None of that works. None of that will actually generate positive experiences. It is exhausting. It is fake. It is inauthentic. And it will only repress those emotions until they later manifest as disease. I'm not interested in pacifying you. I’m not interested in anything that isn’t real. And negative experiences? Very real! Negative emotions? Very real! This is what keeps us human. This is what provides the contrast that allows positive experiences and emotions to flourish. We simply cannot have one without the other. It is our birthright to experience, feel, and process negative emotions just as much as it is our birthright to experience, feel, and process positive emotions.

I only presume it to be in your best interest whenever and wherever possible to make those positive emotional experiences rooted in love, joy, and gratitude a priority in your life. For you to capitalize on the many opportunities given in every moment to embody those positive emotions to the best of your ability. To recognize and process negative emotions and then choose to move away from them and get yourself on a self-generated upward spiral of positive emotions as soon as it feels right for you to do so. Here is why...

Positive emotions spread exponentially, like wildfire, through a crowd. Your efforts made to hold a space charged with positive emotions such as love, serenity, and hope will, without any extra effort on your part, influence those around you to experience the same emotions. Have you ever noted what happens what someone who is so obviously in a great mood walks into a room you are in? The room slowly begins to flourish. This is not magic (although I am not opposed to calling it that), it is science!

Despite feeling very personal, emotions are not a private experience. Emotions impact relationships, career advancement, parenting, and sense of self-worth. How successfully you handle daily challenges is greatly affected by your current emotional state.”

Tamara Lechner. "10 Positive Emotions That Should be Part of Your Daily Life". Chopra, August 11, 2016.

We tend to think our emotions are our individual experience, but in fact our emotions play deeply into how we relate to one another. Emotions belong to and are shared by everybody in the room, not just the individual. It is very much an interpersonal experience albeit much of it being unspoken. We are constantly emanating how we feel in every moment no matter where we are; at home, at the workplace, at the grocery store. The benefits of feeling positive emotions are not just for the self, but for others as well. Our shared emotions live within us; I feel what you feel, you feel what I feel, and all of it fills the 'empty' space between us.

When people experience positive emotions, their minds broaden and they open up to new possibilities and ideas. At the same time, positive emotions help people build their personal well-being resources, ranging from physical resources, to intellectual resources, and social resources”

Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D. "History of Happiness". Pursuit of Happiness.

Do you notice how effortlessly we take note of threats in our environment that ultimately trigger negative emotions? While this was once a true survival mechanism for our ancestors, it is not needed nearly as often as we feel them in our modern day lives. Life, relative to prehistoric times, is pretty good and easy going for most of us. Yet we might still find ourselves triggered, and our focus narrowed to only perceive the world through a very small lens. When we make the effort to notice and rejoice in opportunities to feel positive emotions, our minds and perspectives open and allow us to experience all of life in a more holistic way, enabling us to find more ease and joy in life as we move along and build our resources to live it well.

Emotions are embodied, meaning they don’t just happen in your brain or in your heart, they involve neurotransmitters and release of chemicals and are, in fact, extremely complex.”

Tamara Lechner. "10 Positive Emotions That Should be Part of Your Daily Life". Chopra, August 11, 2016.

To follow the works of Deepak Chopra and Joe Dispenza would show you the intricate ways in which the experience of emotions, both negative and positive, effect the physical body. I could not begin to explain it with such precise depth. What I can wrap my non-doctor brain around is this: when we experience negative emotions such as grief or anger our bodies release the stress hormone, cortisol. When this happens our bodies go into what we call a "fight or flight" mode, meaning that it only aims to sustain itself for the next five or so minutes. It reacts as if there is eminent danger to (maybe) survive and only activates within the body what is absolutely necessary to do so, slowing or shutting down all systems that promote longevity and health. Even digestion slows down to a bare minimum, as that is not what is important if a lion is chasing you down (or the debt collector keeps calling, or your boss just fired you, or...you get it.)

Positive emotions, on the other hand, literally make the body healthier and our social connections stronger. They increase our cardio vascular health and strengthen our immune system. They help stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for revving all of the systems within the body that promote long term health and cell regeneration. They are a vital nutrient. And the potential to experience these positive emotions is available in abundance all the time.

“Your mental and emotional baggage is primarily responsible for creating the discrepancy between what it is that you say you want and what you are actually experiencing on a daily basis. It’s the dominant driver behind your choices and behaviors, and can be the number one thing that derails you in your day-to-day life.”

Tris Thorp. "How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions". Chopra, March 03, 2017.

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world, and vise versa. Many times, people try to address the state of their inner world by influencing and controlling their physical reality. But the opposite is true. Imagine you look into the mirror and see your frowning face reflecting back at you when you so deeply desire to see a smile. Would you attempt to generate a smile by somehow thwarting the mirrors reflection, or would self-generate a positive feeling thought that would imbue a genuine smile across your face?

Okay, so what do I do when I feel like crap, i.e. experience a negative emotion?

Watch a child when they experience disappointment, fear, frustration, or angry. They emote completely…and then they're finished. All of this is to say—to react is normal. The question is, how long are you going to allow yourself to live in the emotions of that reaction?

Dr. Joe Dispenza. "Emotions Are Not Your Enemy: Part 1". Aug 14, 2020.

Negative emotions are a vital contrast to positive emotions within the human experience. They are what the shadow is to light. We simply cannot have one without the other. They are precisely what makes us human. To feel and experience them is inevitable. We will all endure grief, anger, and trauma on varying levels from beginning to end. They will shape us and help us grow. We are never to avoid them, but rather do everything within our power to become aware of them, especially in the moments that they arise within us.

It’s not to say that bad things don’t happen, or that you should pretend everything is amazing when it isn’t. It’s healthy to feel negative emotions rather than avoiding them. The idea is that you can harness the energy of positive emotions and empowering interpretations to grow and evolve, even as you’re moving through challenging times.

Tris Thorp. "How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions". Chopra, March 03, 2017.

When we engage in practices that are designed to increase our conscious awareness, to which there are many, we become increasingly equipped to realize our emotions as we experience them. Choosing which practices work for you is like finding a new pair of shoes. You try them on, you walk around a little, maybe jump up and down. Give it a real honest effort before you take them off. How will you know when a particular practice fits? Well, it will feel really really good when you engage with it. If it doesn't feel good, or it makes you anxious or frustrated, just move on until you find something that feels good. Like, really really good. This is meant to be easy. Allow it to be easy.

With practice comes an exponential and ever-increasing sense of awareness. With awareness comes a sense of ease and calm and knowing even in the face of adversity. With ease, calm, and knowing comes the ability to fully and consciously express your emotions in whatever healthy means necessary in the moment. With full expression of your emotions comes the gift of choosing to reach for a better feeling thought as soon as if feels good to do so, if even for just mere moments at a time. It's a practice. It's a lifestyle. Emotions come in waves and so will your reactions. In the same way we learn to change our diets to increase our health, we must learn to change our minds and be open to the limitless potential for positive experiences available in every moment; to see what maybe we did not see before.

Aside from the resources cited and linked above, I've included a few more additional resources below if you're not yet convinced that feeling good should be a priority, as if our future depends on it (because it does).

Seriously, go have the best day ever.

Additional Resources:

Dr. Joe Dispenza. "Emotions Are Not Your Enemy: Part 2". Aug 28, 2020.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. "7 Tips for Better Mental and Emotional Health". Psychology Today, Mar 22, 2021.