The one that accomplished nothing

The year is 1993, which means I was 4, my brother was 2 and she was pregnant with my second brother. It was a typical day in paradise. We were eating one of her delicious creations she was serenading us by singing as she usually does when we’re alone with her and my brother and I were playing quietly in the corner as we waited. These moments of peace with the ones I was most grateful for because dad wasn’t home. Dad scared all of us. He was never nice for very long and lost his temper often. I remember this day quite vividly my mother was wearing a green dress I’m cooking on the stove top from a distance due to her being eight months pregnant. I remember wondering if the baby was hot being so close to the oven. This moment of serenity was quickly disturbed by slam of an opening door. Everyone tensed-up, even my two-year-old baby brother. I grabbed him by the hand and carried him to the bedroom where he pretended to sleep in hopes that he would have some compassion for my mom and not yell too loud like he did once.

We couldn’t be so lucky the first thing he yelled about was the fact that dinner wasn’t ready. I started to cry when I heard things crashing around in the kitchen and whispering to myself “ please don’t hurt her. Please don’t hit my mommy again”

That’s when I heard her scream Louder than I ever have in a very long time. I jolted out of bed and into the kitchen. I saw her on the floor crying very loudly with both hands on her face and a hot boiling pot of liquid on the floor beside her. When she noticed me she screamed and told me to get out of the room. But I refuse to listen this time. I started screaming at my father “Leave mommy alone! Go away! You are not nice we don’t like you!”

I was infuriated when his lips curled up into a smile and terrified because of how angry his dark eyes burned. He then moved towards me with balled fists and a clenched jaw. I braced myself for a world of pain and close my eyes until I heard what sounded like a gong. When I opened my eyes I realized it was the sound of the pot hitting him in the back of the head. My mother was defending me and I was livid because I thought that this was it, this was the day she was going to die.

I ran into the other room called the police and locked my Screaming brother inside of our bedroom. To the police I said “dad is going to kill mommy come fast”

When I return to the kitchen he was on top of her giving her blow after blow while murdering threats from clenched-teeth. “Do you feel like a fucking hero now?”

I don’t know what came over me but I jumped on his back and started pulling his hair biting and scratching him and inflicting as much pain as I possibly could. He whipped me off of him and when I landed against the floor in knocked the window with me and knocked me out cold.

I woke up to beeping sounds and the smiling faces of strangers inside of a hospital. My mom was still unconscious and her face was so bloody and bruised I barely recognized her. I started panicking as a Lyft for my baby brother. When we reunited I insisted on staying inside of my mother’s hospital room until she woke up.

The chain of events that followed is why my mother is my hero. She finally found the courage not only to leave but speak up about the atrocities that happened behind closed doors to the police. She finally found the courage to move we didn’t only move cities we moved countries from the UK to Canada where her younger brother was living and going to take us in.

We went from squatting on couches in one bedroom apartments to living in women shelters . We went from being regulars at several different food banks to finally being able to afford our own groceries and living in government-subsidized housing.

We definitely didn’t live in a nice part of town. But in my mind it beats living in a nice house in my personal version of hell with my angry alcoholic father.

My mom‘s love for children in cooking Drew in the masses. Every child from the neighborhood quickly learned to call my mom Mama, and it was known that if they needed it there is always a hot meal with enough to share at my house. Every single night for dinner we were trained by three or four neighborhood kids some of which we weren’t even friends with but they continue to show up with their siblings to join us for dinner because it was not being served at their house.

Today my brothers and I are all married we all have children and houses and fulfilling careers. However she was still able to call me in tears telling me that she’s done nothing with her life. this comment surprised me because she never ever complains. This woman who spent years getting abused by my father and years living in poverty always walked with a bounce in her step, while humming our favorite gospel songs. We always went to school with extra food to share with those that didn’t have lunches.

My mother embodies selflessness almost to a fault. Because now that she has stage five kidney disease, and I found out that I was at match, she’s refusing to accept my donation because my two kids are under 3 years-old and “they need you more than I do.”

When she told me that “I’ve accomplished nothing in my life” with her life with tears in her eyes it tightened my chest. Our society had her believe that everything that she was doing was worthless, in the literal sense. This woman never had a job she made it her job to take care of us and all of the children in the inner-city projects. She was active in the church saying in the choir and always donating her time to charitable events. Known for cooking delicious food out of atypical ingredients, are survival skills exceed that of anyone I’ve ever seen. She inspires me more than anyone I’ve ever had in my life. When I struggled in university I knew that just one conversation with her would leave me feeling uplifted and empowered to continue pressing on.

This woman gave and gave for her entire life and finally that I want to give something back to her, that will save her life, she’s Blatantly refusing it.

Marie-Alice Mampuya, also known as “mama” in downtown Hamilton has touched countless lives with her generosity.

If I win this prize I’m donating the entire some to her, and I’m telling her that it’s a symbolic payment for all of the lives that she’s impacted I’m her lifetime. She deserves the world! I couldn’t be more grateful for being raised by someone like her.

Thank you mama, from my inner-child and all the neighborhood kids from downtown Hamilton, Ontario.