The Number One Reason You Fail and Five Ways To Help You Avoid It

Let me be clear, I’m not going to tell you how to avoid failure, because 1. It’s unrealistic, and 2. Failure is necessary. Success is built upon numerous failures that led to success by way of knowing what NOT do next time.

What I am going to tell you is how to avoid this one thing that is guaranteed to make you fail every time. It’s always the same, and it occurs as a result of fear. Fear of:

• Failure
• Success
• Taking risks
• The unknown
• Being an embarrassment
• A neverending task list
• Not knowing where to start
• Not knowing how to get to where you want to be
• Not being able to juggle your commitments
• Not having enough support
• Not having enough hours in the day
• Not wanting to let anyone down
• Not wanting to let ourselves down
• Not being good enough
• Not being knowledgeable enough
• Not being qualified enough, or

Did I mention… Failure? Which, in turn, would validate the doubts you held about yourself from the very beginning.

If you’re reading this, sheepishly nodding your head in understanding of any of the above fears, you are not alone. I can attribute every one of these fears to delays or hurdles that have occurred at some point in my journey to date.

Writing this article, it occurs to me that what I’m writing is not a new concept. I’m not a psychologist. People might wonder how I’m qualified to give such advice. Who do I think I am? I think of all of the Medium articles I’ve read from well established writers, and I feel a pang of anxiety that this article is substandard compared with what else is out there, and that it will probably just get lost in a digital black hole, unseen and insignificant.

What urges me to publish it anyway? Two things:

1. Maybe someone will stumble across it, by chance, and my take on it will make them feel something that inspires them, and fills them with confidence to overcome their own struggles inside their mind. And,
2. If I don’t publish it, it will certainly remain unseen and insignificant. And, I will never know if it could have made a difference.

There is always some type of fear or self-doubt that leads to the number one reason that we fail: We never even try.

We get so overwhelmed by our thoughts that we become trapped in a state of Paralysis by Analysis. So, we conclude, that we can’t fail if we don’t try. Right?

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WRONG. As you can see from my example above, regarding publishing or not publishing, if we don’t try there is no possibility of success.

So, how do we overcome our thoughts?

The first, and easiest thing to do, is to decide to believe in yourself. Sometimes this is easier said than done.

Whatever dream you’re pursuing, you need to want it bad enough, and you need to tell yourself that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Dreams don’t happen by chance. They take hard work, and persistence. The following five tips should help you along the way:

1. Write Things Down

Start writing. Or drawing. Or scribbling. Or brainstorming. Or creating a Vision Board. Whatever works best for you.

There is something incredibly powerful about getting ideas out of your head, on to paper, and having them as a visual indicator, rather than abstract thoughts in your head that are easy to forget or dismiss. This does two things:

1. It serves as a constant source of inspiration: As a reminder of your goals, dreams, and things you need to achieve. It’s like brainwashing yourself every time you look at it.
2. It helps to reduce stress. By writing something down, your brain registers that it no longer needs to worry about said thing because there’s no chance of forgetting it if it’s written down.

2. Network

Don’t be afraid to reach out to others who are more qualified, or more experienced, than yourself. There are definitely some less than desirable people out there but, for the most part, you will find people that understand where you are on your journey, and who will be more than happy to help. Everyone starts somewhere, and that person that you perceive to be better than you was once you.

• Google local networking events in your area. Go along. All going swimmingly, you might make a new connection. At the very least, you will learn something.

• Join a Facebook group dedicated to whatever it is you’re pursuing. These types of groups usually provide a lot of free resources and information that is really helpful. And they’re a great source of support, full of people that understand your journey.

• Search related hashtags on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Follow people you vibe with and want to learn more from. Don’t be afraid to reach out! Comment on their posts, or Direct Message them. Engage.

You never know who you will end up talking to, and what doors it might open.

3. Learn

As much as you can. Knowledge is power, and will help you to feel empowered. Going to university, or undertaking formal education, may not be achievable, but the internet is a vast expanse of information. Utilise it.

Read books. I wish I had time to physically flick through the pages of a book (seriously, they smell so good), but I don’t. I make use of my drive home from my day job listening to Audiobooks. Check out Audible, if you’re short on time. Or, Blinkist, which specialises in condensing non-fiction books into 15 minute audio extracts.

Listen to podcasts. I like to chuck one on while I’m going about my morning, making breakfast or lunch, or on my drive to work.

Watch YouTube channels of people from your chosen field.

4. Plan and Prioritise

If you’re sitting here, overwhelmed, thinking “there are so many things I need to do before I can even get started doing business and making an income,” stop.

Ancient Chinese Philosopher, Lao Tzu, once said:

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

This is your single step:

• Make a list: Write down all of the things you need to do.
• Figure out which tasks are the most important, and highlight those.
• Break your list down into categories or sections.
• Set manageable goals for what tasks you want to achieve, and by when, and tick them off as you go.
• Start with your most important tasks.

Breaking your goals down into smaller goals makes things feel manageable, and less overwhelming. And, as you tick things off your list, you will feel so accomplished!

5. Learn To Embrace Failure

As I touched on earlier, success is built upon failure. Failure should not be an excuse to quit. Failure is unavoidable, because you cannot know what you do not know. It’s not a statement, or a validation about you as a person. It’s not personal, and it doesn’t pick it’s victims.

Failure is a lesson. An opportunity to try again, better armed.

It’s like going to war with nothing but your fists, the first time around. The first failure makes you aware that it might be a good idea to take a stick next time. The next failure makes you aware that it might be good to take a stick AND a shield next time. And so on and so forth, until you begin to taste victory.

You raise your chances of success in life by learning from your failures, just the same as you increase your chances of success in battle by way of increasing your arms and defences.

So, next time you fail, instead of becoming disheartened, ask yourself… What can you learn from it?

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To Summarise

We are guaranteed to fail every time we don’t try. You can help to combat your fears, and overcome self-doubt, by:

1. Writing things down
2. Networking
3. Learning
4. Planning and Prioritising, and
5. Learning to Embrace Failure.

I hope this helps, whatever stage of your journey you might be at.

The next time you’re having a crisis of confidence, remember: There is always going to be someone “better” than you, or “more knowledgeable” than you, or “more qualified” than you. But, they don’t have what you have: You.

Each person has their own unique something that only they can bring. Embrace that.

Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. I‘d love to hear from you.