The Dream Plan

Dear Dream Plan,

For the last decade, in the first week of the year I have set activity based goals around fitness, finances and foibles to fix; and then reviewed them the following year, berating myself for targets unachieved, congratulating myself for any progress made.

However, along with the general chaos that it brought, 2020 gave me my first experience of personal loss and bereavement, and it has given me a fresh perspective in life. I have come to realise what matters most is our behaviour and our state of mind, much more than controlling the minutia of our day-to-day existence.

The loss of a loved one freezes everything else out. The grief you feel brings a tsunami of tears, heartbreak, sleeplessness and sheer desolation; and once these slowly ebb, you start to question everything.

What and who matter most? What is important to you? What is life? What is your purpose in life?

I realised that targets like exercising daily, eating five greens a day, drinking less alcohol, and learning another language are all auxiliary. My attitude towards life, and the people in my life are what matter most.

I may have lost a beautiful person from my life; but in sorrows shared, I have reconnected with family members, and strengthened bonds that I didn’t think could get any deeper.

Hence all my future goals will have a very different vein. Apart from showcasing my love for the people I cherish every day, I plan to focus on cultivating a healthy mind and a happy heart.

Goal number one: Be the joy, spread the joy.

I desire to make every person I meet joyful to have met me, have them smile, make their day better and most importantly, maintain my good cheer even in the face of discourtesy, irrationality or malice.

I have come to understand that my behaviour should not be altered by how others treat me, or rather, my perception of how they treat me.

I will do my best to turn the other cheek, be the bigger person, or just simply, in one ear and out the other when encountering these challenging individuals.

Goal number two: Be compassionate to yourself, be empathetic to others.

I feel forgiveness is one of the hardest traits to master. To truly forgive from your heart and let things go is something I want to actively pursue and practice.

I want to be compassionate and forgive myself when I feel I’ve self-sabotaged, instead of becoming angry and letting the nag voice in my head overwhelm me. I want to learn from my mistakes instead of letting them shadow me and weigh me down.

Perhaps, even more importantly, excusing others for their perceived ill-treatment of me, as everyone has their own demons to deal with, and one can never completely know what another is going through.

I want to show empathy when none is asked for, or warranted, and remember that what people do and say is predominately not about me, but about them.

Goal number three: Think small, change forever.

I committed to using only natural-fibre clothing in 2020, and for every garment I rejected because it was man-made and heavily manufactured, I felt a tickle of joy and pride.

I want to continue to learn more about our world, and then make the small changes that can have a positive impact on the future of this lovely place we call home.

I aim to eliminate all single use plastic in my life: to not buy groceries if I’ve forgotten my bag-for-life, to dodge takeaway from restaurants that have not adopted recycled materials, and to avoid (under all but extenuating circumstances) the abominable disposable plastic bottle.

Goal number four: Dream big, be brave.

What helped me get out of my stupor of depression and despair (other than my family and friends and discovering the affirming autobiographies of Maya Angelou) was the creative outlet words offered me.

I plan on owning the sign the universe sent me on the very first day of the year, via an Instagram advert for this platform by writing with the voraciousness that I had when I was a child, and dreamt of making my living from words.

After all, the creativity that lives within us doesn’t have an expiry date; it might just hibernate till we decide to poke it and wake it up again.

Goal number five: Destination, deliberation and determination.

In a nod to an inspirational author any magic geeks should recognise, I want to remind myself of my goals every day of this year, and gently correct myself when I am meandering off the path I want to follow, and the place I want to arrive at.

I want to journey to my destination with a single-mindedness of purpose and a concentrated effort to achieve my goals for 2021. I am determined to discard any negative thoughts my brain has by redirecting it to encourage, welcome and preserve the positive ones.

My mantra for the year - Out with the blues, in with the happy hues!

Yours devotedly,

X