The consequences of loving others before loving yourself

I usually fight back when I see someone coming at me. I'm going to stop shielding myself and just let the stones hit me.

I'll take the hit and try not to think about the pain as the stone leaves a bruised mark. As I see more stones being thrown at me, I'll just sit there and allow it to hit me in my head, my stomach, my forehead. Suddenly I start to bleed from all of the bruises. But it's ok. I don't need to be angry. I don't need to fight back. I'll just stand in the same place and take everything, every blow, every mean spirited words. Wait! The stones are getting larger, and they are coming from the back. I can't see where they are coming from, but the stones are larger. NO STOP! I can't take anymore, why are you throwing stones and hurting me?? Wait!!! Who else is there throwing larger stones? I can't see you!!! Let me run away now, I can't take it!! I get angry because all I see are bruises! The bruises hurt- it's hard for me to walk, but I'm trying to get away before more stones are thrown at my already bruised up body. I cry because of how the bruises hurt and sting from the forces of how the small and large stones are thrown at me. The bruises are there for a while- I run away, then out of nowhere-the large stones are being thrown at me and it connects and bruises me again, this time they are connected and I'm bleeding profusely and I scream at the top of my lungs and tell them to leave me alone!!!! Then I hear a person say, " I don't know why she's angry?" "Why is she so upset?" The bruises aren't that bad, I'm sure the stones don't even hurt that bad-she's exaggerating. We will stop for now, but we shall be back, and start again. Hopefully next time she'll just stand there like she use to do. It's so wonderful when she doesn't fight back and doesn't run away. I hear chatter on why is she crying? Why is she so upset now? We know she doesn't do anything to anyone but she always has to put her 2 cents in, she's always trying to make herself a better person and be educated and get the best jobs out there. She has another thing coming! She needs to stay right there where I can see her, and not progress in life ever. It makes me feel so good inside to see her suffer.

I look up and I hear the voice- then I say to myself-I'll give up- I'll stand right here. I won't be angry-I'll stay right here and take it. At least others are happy when they hurt me-so maybe I'm doing some good in the world right? I won't be angry, it's all to help others at my expense. I understand my purpose in life now. I'm hurting and may die soon, but I'm here for this purpose. I won't fight back, I'll take the pain. It's for the good of the people. A month later, I fell to the ground after numerous of stones of different sizes were thrown at me forcefully. I couldn't take anymore, but always remembered to not get angry- just take the pain- it's for the good of the other person- just as long as they are feeling great when they throw the stone at me-that's why I'm here.

I can no longer stand- a doctor came by to observe me-I said to the doctor ,I am dying- the doctor stated, yes you are dying, it is from internal bleeding from past and present stones that were thrown forcefully and thrown at the same spot numerous of times. The doctor leaves me and I am on the ground. Then I feel stones being thrown at me while I am down and hurt. Multiple stones thrown forcefully and at alarming speeds hitting me in my head and my entire body. I am in so much pain, but now I don't have the ability to move, my body is beaten so bad. So, I close my eyes and I cry, and feel the stones hitting my head from all angles, and all of a sudden, I don't feel anything. I wake up and I am in a different place- I'm dead!! Well- at least I know what I was there for- for the others. What a life!!!

The End

By Tanya Rena’ Jefferson

This is a short story metaphorically speaking about the consequences when you love others before loving yourself. Make sure to love and take care of yourself first. Better yourself everyday, while not caring who disapproves of your "self love".