The Black Book

Aye man say man. Its ya boy JahSmoov. Im gonna use myself for this story. It is a fiction story but its up to you to grasp what you can of reality as I go . So boom!

I remember every single moment of hunger fighting my muscle cells. Deteriating all of my hardly earned mass. I do my push ups so I knew I was destined for success. I never wanted to be less than great. Call me an overachiever maybe but thats just what I learned to do as a result of not having enough.

I was down bad. I was upset. I was angry. I was so stressed. I was on go. I had no bed. I was on 10 and I feared no one. I was tainted with something deeper than music but music was all I could hold onto. As I conquered this newly founded dark path, I grew accustomed to the hunger pains and decided to use that as motivation. Listen. Hunger is not a joke. I never joked about my food to begin with. Two things I dont do is lie and waste food. Id be lying if I said I never wasted any food. Of course I did. Peanut butter is super gross and so are those bitter brussel sprouts. I learned that food is a consumption of energy so I should just toughen up until then. My mind shifted. My heart raced. My energy grew. This dark path was not erie. It gave me comfort. I never seen red. I see black. My words are black as I type but they have a darker tint when I speak. It wasn’t until I put my words onto paper that I noticed what was occuring. The journal turned black. My thoughts expanded. Now everyone looked at me weird. I couldnt tell if it was good or bad glimpes that I recieved, all I knew was something is happening. Something deeper than music. I valued my music enough to store it for some time because the people who would listen were not ready for the truth. My position was stagnant for some months, almost a full year. I needed air. Imagine you were on top of the world and you notice that everything beneath you grew up and now reached surface level. Your old world is now flat. You must take note of life going on around you. This darkness blinded me. My book, my black book, is my savior. I put my new world on paper with ink and let my ink make me more paper. I noticed that looks I kept recieving were looks of curiousity. Wondering what I am doing, what I did, and what is going to happen next. All eyes were on me. Why did not matter. How I handled it does. I truly did not have a next move because my music occupied most of my conscious at the time. I was satisfied with making music because I was able to bring out that energy and share it with others in a positive way. No I dont always have something good to say and I am not the type to not say it at all. Im going to tell you how it is because of what I used to feel. Not only that, I listened to myself when I only had me to listen to and boy oh boy was that the greatest decision I have ever made. I slowly released my scriptures of my black book month by month. Sometimes week by week. Before I knew it, my black book returned the light to my new world. My black book showed me where to go to reach the top of this new world. And in this New World is where I was blessed with 20,000 dollars to honestly never feel hunger again.

I process what is going on to make decisions to get me out. Follow your heart they say. I’d say the same but you shouldn’t listen to me. Learn for yourself.

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