The 5K

Tomorrow is Rob’s first 5K. Rob has carb-loaded all day to boost his energy, and he plans to grab a pair of proper sneakers tonight before the stores close. His sweat-proof shorts are in the same dresser drawer they’ve languished in since he moved in, and his 32-oz. water bottle is in the fridge. With one last scroll through #motivation on his Insta feed, he is ready.

Except he wakes up late and discovers his shorts are a size too small. His new shoes dig into his heels until they blister and bleed. He pats himself on his back for still showing up, and once it starts, he jogs. You jogs past the first block of cheering onlookers and keeps up with the crowd. He jogs until his lungs are on fire and he retches, and then he acknowledges that maybe this is not how one should approach a 5K.

We keep making New Year Resolutions the same way Rob prepared for his 5K. From Christmas until the Big Day, we eat all the sweets we want, sleep in, and splurge on gym equipment, toys, and entertainment. Something about our noble intention to commit to change gives us permission to languish beforehand. We accept this because for the next 365 days, we are going to run, give up smoking, eat exactly zero red meat, and spend date nights without our phones. New Year, New Me.

But that’s weird. January First is a terrible time to change anything. For the majority of humans, January is cold, dark, and dreary. Those 365 mornings of running will be in the dark and cold. One in four people will be fighting seasonal depression and vitamin deficiency to start that mindfulness routine or yoga. The January and February energy bills are higher than any other time of the year and eat up all of those goals of saving. Plus all of those turkeys, egg nogs, yule cakes, and pigs in a blanket put that weight loss goal in a hole. It’s easy to give in to our inner bear and hibernate away the cold and gloomy days.

And science says we should. Our brains are not programmed for the modern New Years Resolution. Rather than stick to a grim tradition, it may be best to throw in the towel early and start making some real changes.

Before you make change, we must come to terms with these truths:

Abstract goals are weak.

An object in motion stays in motion; an object at rest stays at rest.

No matter how noble your motivation is, you need rewards for your sacrifices.

Then, it’s time to make a deadline.

For all of the online memes about deadlines, they’ve become the rigid structure to our lives. From utility bills to work schedules, we have become experts at navigating checkpoints in our work and personal lives. We practice negotiating deadlines throughout our schooling, pushing homework deadlines back, sliding a snow day in, and begging a teacher for another review day before a test. As adults, we celebrate special dates, like anniversaries and birthdays, and use those days to think of the future and how we got to this milestone. Our brains like deadlines because they add just enough stress to drive us to action, but they’re predictable. New Year’s Eve won’t be a surprise, and you have a whole year to prepare for it.

How can we better meet these ambitious deadlines we make for ourselves? First, remember Truth 1? Abstract goals are weak. Until we have a plan at hand to make our goals feel real, it is simply a fantasy. That marathon goal needs to have a temperature, a cost, and a weight in your brain before it’s real enough to act on. Most of us know how many weeks we need to sculpt that idea into a tangible thing. That means breaking in those workout pants, scuffing that yoga mat, and looking up time management apps for your distraction-free date night goal. Once our goal feels real, we can begin to live in that reality.

Remember Truth 2? Don’t expect to transition from couch potato to unstoppable comet in a few days. Human bodies and brains need to ease into this “object in motion” gig. Practice seeing those goals. For instance, if transitioning into a meat-free diet was my goal, I wouldn’t swear off animal flesh in a moment. I’d set goals. After August 1st, I wouldn’t visit the meat section at the grocery store anymore. I would be mindful of what my grocery bill would look like with that change and plan for what my evenings in front of the computer would smell and taste like with a dripping strawberry vinaigrette dripping between the keys instead of burger juice. That baby step into the new reality would take some small adjustments, and my brain would endure. Start with small steps and build momentum.

Lastly, we must open our palm to extrinsic rewards - rewards that go beyond the satisfaction of looking better or feeling healthier. When NYE is your deadline, you can seek out rewards in the crisp autumn months leading to it. Honestly, autumn is the most rewarding time to make changes. The best evening jog I’ve had is in the crisp September air with the leaves crunching under my feet, watching migrating birds swoop up and down the air, and spying squirrels circling each other around trees and telephone poles. Magazines and blogs fill with thousands upon thousands of new recipes, hit flavors, and the best kitchen gadgets that will make your meals faster and more delicious.

Your goals shouldn’t feel like punishments; they should feel like change for the better. We should feel like we are on the road to something better, and autumn is the time filled with change and the promise of something new. Honestly, if we started making September Resolutions, our success rate would probably be much higher. In another time, Rob could start prepping for his marathon in the warmer days of Labor Day with a walk, breaking in his shoes with a walk to the neighborhood barbecue. As his walks became runs, he could watch Halloween decorations fill up the lawns and the animals prepare for winter.

That brings me to the best reward - showing off progress during the holidays. Family notices when one one of their own has changed. When someone gives up smoking, everyone can tell right away by the smell of the coat closet. We know someone is feeling better when they have the energy to goof off by the kids’ table or give a belly-laugh at a joke. Think of how most of the cheering crowd in the 5K gathers at the end of the marathon with water bottles outstretched. The holidays are the best time to soak up and hydrate extrinsic rewards right before passing that finish line.

The best part of a deadline is blowing through the ribbon with arms outstretched and your face turned up. While everyone is carb-loading and sleeping in to prepare for January First, you know that NYE is just a checkpoint. You’ve already won. You’re already thinking of the 10K. You are an object in motion, and you’re not going to stop.