Talking Two Two Patients Set My Day Straight

I had a dark day, where the light was dimmed by my depressed state of mind. I failed in so many ways but I didn't really know where I was or what I was doing. I was literally going through the motions with what felt like survival mode. I was doing things to get things in motion externally so that I could move my inner emotional world. The two are not separate, which I know to be true in my very cells. Therefore, moving forward is the only way to move toward a new destination.

As Albert Einstein puts it:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

When I went to work, I kept to myself and opted to help with the bone marrow biopsy list. The bone marrow biopsy procedure is mainly used for cancer patients to obtain samples of blood and bone to help diagnose the stages of cancer. It involves preparing the patient, comforting them and explaining the process. The procedure is done by a doctor.

As I was preparing my first patient for the procedure, he seemed so gentle and kind. As he lay in the bed, I asked him if he had enough support at home. He hesitated but then said, "Yes, I have my wife and I couldn't be here without the spirit." From that sentence on we talked about our beliefs and our spiritual beliefs.

I said that I find that putting this all into practice helps but it is difficult. Then the patient said, "I don't think this is about practice, but about letting go."

I instantly agreed with him and the concept of letting go and the importance to believe letting go is healing, remained with me throughout the day. He was the first patient I encountered that day to set me straight and I could feel a little bit of weight lift off my shoulders.

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As my first patient left, the second one came along for the same procedure. As I spoke with her before the doctor came, she mentioned she was caring for her parents who were 89 and 90 years old, even though she was going through her own significant health problems. She also said her husband has an autoimmune disease.

As we kept on talking she seemed to be in good spirits and so thankful for the care she was receiving. It made me feel so appreciative also of all the things I have but perhaps my heart was dimmed by certain expectations of myself and the pressure I was putting myself under. I decided it was not worth it and let go a bit more.

By the time my second patient left to go home, I felt like another weight lifted off me. By lunchtime I was sitting in the lunch room eating and chatting to my colleagues.

But the time I went home I took some time to rest and spent some time with my boys and husband.

In the last weeks or so, my depressed mood has been somewhat of a struggle to be with, but learning from my patients today, I felt like the world was sending my helpers to help set my path straight again. Some kind words and a refreshing perspective helps me to remember what my path is all about. I like helping people and I like being there for people when they need support. Thanks to two patients, having no idea what impact they had on me, I am grateful that support comes in some unlikely forms to get myself on the path again. The things I appreciate with renewed love hopefully can help me stay on the straight path for a good stretch of time.