advice
Advice that will put you on the path to success; tips, tricks and nuggets of wisdom from trusted experts and motivational mentors.
Why Procrastination Is a B***h
Imagine constantly trying your hardest to find the willpower to do something but then you get that stupid little voice in your head saying, "Just do it later. You've got time. It's not going anywhere. It'll still be there even if you take a little time off."
By Mariam Naeem6 years ago in Motivation
Don't Settle
I have settled for things, because I felt I didn't deserve better. The overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, has been something I have dealt with for a long time. The idea of settling showed up in my relationships more than any other area of my life. I didn't have a real father figure in my life and my mother wasn't the best example for relationships. So when I started dating, I didn't have much to go off of. Being a young black girl from Baltimore, MD, who stayed on the west side of town, with guys that were up to no good, didn't help. The summer of 2004, I lost a lot of weight and that's when things took a turn for me. I wasn't the fat girl anymore, I was the light skin girl with a big butt and big breast and that's all the guys could see in me. I started talking to this guy (let's call him Jo) and he was selling drugs and in the streets, but I was okay with it because he made sure I was taken care of. When my mother couldn't or wouldn't, he would. He was the reason I learned it does not matter how pretty you are, men will hurt you. Jo began having a sexual relationship with a close friend of mine. She told me it happened but continued having sexual contact with him. I was told, if I would have been doing it with him, maybe he wouldn't have started having sex with her. On that day I began to make excuses and settle. I told myself, "They're right." I wasn't ready to have sex with him and if he is going to keep, kicking out the money, then he can keep having sex with her. I made it all okay. After that relationship ended, I started putting up with anything, as long as I could make it make sense to me. "Yeah, he maybe having sex with you! But I get his time." Or whatever other craziness I could come up with. Fast forward to 08-09 I started dating this guy and he came off so sweet! He had a job and had never been to jail lol. Y'all I thought I was doing something, or making a change with the type of men, I started to date. Oh, how wrong I was. All of my friends told me to stop dating him, to walk away and just put my all into school. They would say, "He makes you cry." "He makes you feel bad about yourself." "You're not focusing on school because of him." I got it all, but I thought I was in love. He broke up with me over Yahoo Messenger! And than told me he wanted a sexual relationship but not to be my "boyfriend" anymore. I guess the title was too much for him. I put up with that until my 20th birthday. That's when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to start talking to new people, because I knew he had a few girls in line. That's when I began building a friendship with my now husband. We both were dealing with our emotions after walking away from relationships. He became one of my best friends. I would tell him about the things that was happening with me and my ex and he would do the same. We help each other. He and I started an emotional healing process together. So after about three months, I made up my mind to be done with my ex completely. As the time passed, my new best friend started to become the love of my life. I started to feel feelings that I didn't understand, because I never had them before. He made me feel like a queen and he would tell me when he was wrong, and showed me that I deserved better. He loved me so hard and it felt so good, I started to love myself just as much if not more. I started seeing what he saw in me, when I looked at myself. I had never had that, not even from my mother. Now, before you ask, "Why is she telling us all of this?" Here is why. I never had anyone tell me how beautiful and special I was growing up. That lack of, acknowledgment and love sent me searching for understanding and self worth in boys, who didn't truly care about me. I see young women my age or younger (especially young black women) dealing with a man, who doesn't love her and he is just comfortable, or using her for a money, sex, and a place to stay or whatever. I see them not loving themselves enough, or respecting themselves enough and just settling for what is handed to them. Well I'm here to tell you. I love you and you are enough! Love yourself more, tell yourself you're beautiful even if no one else does. Believe that a person will love you right and don't make excuses for them, when they don't.
By K J6 years ago in Motivation
Staying Motivated & Moving
When I wake up, it's so hard to get me moving and ready for the day. If it's a day off, I'd rather stay in bed all day and watch Netflix on my phone. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. No one wants to do work on day that's supposed to represent a break day. But there's always that little voice in my head saying, "Your room is a mess, clean it the f*$%k up," or "You ate too many donuts the day before, go on a run."
By Kait Carson6 years ago in Motivation
What Anime Loving Artists Need to Remember About "Art"
I know what it's like to look at your artwork mid-completion and realize it's nothing like the artists you look up to. Those artists you love also love anime like you and it seems like you'll never reach their level. I used to try to give myself the benefit of the doubt: "They're professionals, that's why they're so good." Then, you run into someone who just draws just as a hobby and has remarkable talent. Your heart sinks, you take up the title of otaku garbage, and you stay away from your drawing tablet or sketchbooks as much as possible because it's too painful to relive that feeling. Yeah, I've been there...but I want to remind you that art at it's rawest definition isn't supposed to discourage you. I need you to remember some things when it comes to creating fanart of your favorite characters or creating original characters.
By ChaosKei6 years ago in Motivation
Advice for Artists
Over the years of being an artist I've learned a few things that I think are important to share and will hopefully help other fellow artists, or just people in general, with how they view themselves/their art. We all need that reminder that we are actually pretty great every once in a while.
By Rayne Art6 years ago in Motivation
Don't Let Fear Rule Your Life
Honestly I'm not trying to dig deep here but someone out there has to know what I’m talking about and can give their two cents on the matter. However, even though I’m not digging that deep, I want you all to really think about your life and what situations you have been through when you read this. Try to really reflect and count back on certain moments that you can relate back to this article.
By Kait Carson6 years ago in Motivation
Keeping the Faith
It is interesting when you realize that your financial situation is out of control. Debt weighs heavily and constantly, and it feels as if you are drowning. Other times it feels as if you are observing yourself as if from a distance. Not quite believing it is happening.
By Jennifer Ellis6 years ago in Motivation
The Truth About 'Fitspiration'
It's pretty ironic that at 18, I am writing an article about the 'fitspiration' trend we all know and are forced to love. Being so young, you wouldn't expect for me to have something to say about this; my life just started, so how would I know the hardships of becoming fit or eating a perfect diet, or even having an extremely detailed and organized exercise plan? That's the problem: I know. Maybe a bit too much.
By Ariel Bondarenko6 years ago in Motivation
If You Struggle with Gratitude, Read This
I can feel your sigh of frustration, “Oh boy, here’s another gratitude post telling me to be grateful when I feel like crap. Pass!” But wait! Don’t pass me up just yet. I completely understand how you feel. I have struggled with feeling gratitude for most of my life. Trying to feel grateful for your life when you aren't feeling good about it is the hardest, on top of all the guilty feelings of not being more grateful for what you do have! However, When I finally understood how to truly feel gratitude, it was almost effortless for me to be grateful every day.
By Trianna Lewis6 years ago in Motivation