Slowing down was a life-and-death decision for me

I had a serious concussion before I learned to slow down.

Being in a hurry is a bad habit most of us have picked up working in a society dedicated to "the cult of speed," as Carl Honoré so poetically phrases it in his book In Praise of Slowness.

More than that, I am speaking from personal experience. During the three years I spent recovering from a life-threatening concussion, I couldn't work. I couldn't do much of anything and as a result, my mental health very much improved. Slowing down came by necessity.

I had learned some terrible habits when I was working previously as a journalist and then a web designer.

1. (check email)
2. Find client
3. (coffee)
4. Beat deadline!
5. (check email)
6. Hustle, find next gig!
7. (coffee, coffee, check email)
8. Hurry up, finish!
9. (check email)
10. Quick! Onto the next thing!
11. (check email)
12. (coffee)

Sound familiar?

I made a lot of avoidable bone head blunders when I was in a hurry. Make no mistake, it wasn't by choice. When I worked in journalism, deadlines were so tight that I simply couldn't do good work. (Plus, I could never find my keys).

One time, covering high school sports, Nick Nolte won the 400-meter dash ~ it was a Senior whose first name was Nick and a Junior whose last name was Nolte. Fortunately, it was funny, so no one was too upset.

I wasn't so lucky when I worked in a mom-and-pop hot dog stand in high school. Customers were known to get irate if we accidentally put onions on their mustard-and-pickles-only hot dog. The gimmick was we had to memorize everyone's orders, couldn't write them down. One time as I was rushing to get 6 dogs and 3 burgers and 1 beef with a side of tots, fries and rings together (faster, faster, faster), onions got on the wrong frankfurter, and the customer asked for a manager.

That brings attention to the other issue that dovetails with speed, frustration at the drop of a hat. Why are we so frustrated all the time time, with ourselves, each other, the world around us? Perhaps it's because we're in such a hurry all the time that our whole day falls apart if things don't go just right. A traffic jam means we don't get to the bank on time, a line at the bank means we're late to pick up Nick Nolte from the track meet...

It's too much. We're pushing ourselves too hard, and quality of work, and quality of life is suffering.

It took me years to unwind. In many ways, my concussion was the best thing that ever happened to me. I applied for disability, but was denied. I guess that's the part of my story that taught me "acceptance." There was no use panicking. There was simply nothing I could do.

For nine months, I lived at a spiritual retreat center. My daily routine was quite literally in slow motion. That was a real blessing.

It shouldn't take spiritual enlightenment to teach us to slow down, but it seems like that is what it takes.

For those of us who find ourselves on the hamster wheel of speed, I know it seems impossible to get off, between demanding jobs and obligations that stretch us to the breaking point. It tends to make us short with our kids and miss out on the real joys of life, like just sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade.

A spiritual teacher named Adyashanti equates a deep state of meditative stillness with drinking lemonade on the front porch. Carl Honoré opens his book In Praise of Slowness with an anecdote about how he's always looking for shortcuts. One evening, as he's reading his daughter a bedtime story, he decides to abridge the story to save time. That's when it hits him. What are we doing with all that time we save? If we're rushing around, shouldn't it be so we can get home and spend more time with our loved ones?

But rushing becomes an addiction that keeps us from enjoying anything. It takes us nowhere ... fast. That brings us back to Nick Nolte, who won the 400-meter dash.

Ironically, a few years after my journalistic faux pas, I saw an obscure movie with the actual actor Nick Nolte called Way of the Peaceful Warrior about a college athlete who has a life-threatening motorcycle accident that shatters his Olympic dreams (and his leg). While he's recovering, he spends time with an eccentric old sage who helps him to realize what's really important. My concussion was like that for me.

I want to say something to anyone who realizes they're on a hamster wheel right now and wants to get off and seek a more fulfilling way of life. I can't tell you how to get off the wheel for yourself, because it's extremely challenging. I do hope it doesn't take a life-threatening accident for other people though. I am certain the habits we have picked up by default living in the modern-fast-paced world are not healthy. It literally is a life-and-death decision to find a better way. I believe that with all my heart.