Self Improvement Journey

"Work towards a goal that you know your future self will be proud of. Even if you don't where you will end up in the future, do something that later on you'll look back and be proud."- quote by Señor(AKA me).

As a 16 and a half-year-old, I found myself contemplating where I might be in 5 or 10 years, acutely aware of my impending 18th birthday. Yet, the vision of my future resembled a stark, empty canvas. Repeated attempts to paint this canvas with dreams and aspirations yielded nothing but an unsettling void. Fear began to infiltrate my thoughts, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainty and doubt.

While my dreams were bold and ambitious, I grappled with the persistent fear that they might forever remain out of reach.

Gradually, memories of my carefree, youthful self began to resurface. I couldn't help but wonder if those moments of pure happiness were destined to become mere relics of the past. Was the road ahead paved with nothing but challenges and suffering? It wasn't until recently, on the cusp of adulthood at 16, that the harsh reality hit me.

Then, one fateful night, I found myself lost in deep contemplation while lying in bed. I've come to understand that there are no inherently "bad" thoughts; they are simply the raw material we process as we navigate life's complexities. My mind fixated on feelings of worthlessness, profound and sensitive, echoing the sentiments my parents had voiced. "Son, it appears your life may not be a happy one," they had said, without mentioning my siblings' names. These dark thoughts consumed me, haunting my nights and even infiltrating my daily walks to and from the bus stop. In front of friends and family, I wore a mask of false contentment, concealing the turmoil within.

As for my habits and routines, I gave them little thought. Each day followed a predictable pattern: I'd awaken at 6 a.m., rush to catch the bus for school, return by 4 p.m., make a feeble attempt at studying by 5 p.m., and retire to bed by 9 p.m. My life had become a monotonous cycle, devoid of variety. Neglecting exercise, I instead whiled away hours in my room, immersing myself in procrastination and YouTube videos, seeking instant gratification. It never occurred to me how this lifestyle might impact my future self.

Then, one day, as I mindlessly scrolled through YouTube, a particular video seized my attention. It delved into essential life lessons for teenagers, and a specific message resonated deeply with me: "Don't worry about the future; prepare for it." These words served as a catalyst for change, igniting a newfound motivation within me. I realized that I needed to take tangible steps now that would make my future self proud and content. I embarked on a journey of self-improvement, incorporating meditation, exercise, and journaling into my daily routine. Though it had only been a few days, I began to experience a profound sense of lightness and happiness. My incessant worries about the future began to recede, replaced by a sense of purpose and optimism. While they were not entirely gone, they had significantly diminished. I am still on a path to still improve myself, and hope to be a better person every day.

Thank you for reading this. I hope this inspires you to change and be a better person that your future self will be proud and happy of.

Signing out,

Señor.