Return of the Art

According to the Collins English Dictionary, re-entry is the act of returning to a place, organization, or area of activity that you have left. In science, re-entry is defined as when a spacecraft comes back into the Earth’s atmosphere after being in space. In Law, re-entry means the gain or resume possession of a property. In this case, Re-Entry is defined as returning to a place where departure was necessary or no choice at all. Coming back could mean whatever circumstance was created to make us leave has been destroyed, pushed back, or not confronted yet. Leaving and coming back with a brand-new attitude can be a major boost in maturity and growth. However, we don’t know if coming back will help bring back all the emotions associated with the leave or becoming prepared for what’s to come. Coming back to a toxic environment is not a good thing depending on the individual.

I am going to tell about a time where anything art-related has come back to me many times and stuck somehow in an endless cycle to returning to it, how God has placed certain things in my life that may not seem significant but has me seeing as either motivation to start or self-doubting myself in a hole and what little changes I am making and going to make that will make difference in how I go about my life.

1) Story-Time

What about coming back to an activity, hobby, or skill that you loved/enjoyed as a kid, but outside forces towards told you not to do that anymore or maybe you thought it wasn’t logical to continue to a pursuit in such activity. You know when you are a kid, the teacher would ask you “What do you want to be when you grow up?” There were the typical answers such as firefighter, doctor, lawyer. Heck, I don’t even remember what I said half of the time when I was asked. However, there is one moment that I cherish and revisits my mind often. When I was in the third grade, we had this art class where the teacher would pick a random student to stand in front of the painting.

This icebreaker required us to find the focus/subject of the painting. I remember this day because we had a painting where the baby was the main subject; this is also the day that I discovered that drawing shoes/sneakers would impact my life. Our project revolved around our shoes, and we had to draw the shoes that were currently on our feet. That day I had a pair of Black, Mid-Top, Converse All-Star Chucks. I was nine years old; I didn’t think anything of it until I brought it home and my brother Henry told me to draw a pair of Reebok Air Pumps.

Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, participating in art classes seemed like a no-brainer since I enjoyed working with my hands. Then sports and learning languages entered my stratosphere and art went from a constant view to being pushed back like a phantom wound. It’s there in my mind, but not in front. The art classes and lessons that I have learned from them have changed my point of view about consistency and being known. If I had to think about one lesson that I learned from those classes, consistency, and practice are the key component to improving and understanding your artwork. Unfortunately, I didn’t stay consistent throughout my later years, and I fear that I had started too late or never at all.

I didn’t know drawing shoes could be a career or something I would love to do until my brother Henry found a class called sneaker design at College for Creative Studies (CCS). It was so exciting, but since I didn’t work at such a young age, I had to ask my father for the money. He said no, the rejection began all over again. For my father, it was a waste of money to pay for such a class, but my brother didn’t pay for it, and I didn’t any other knowledge on how to go about pursuing such a passion. My mindset has damaged me during those years at Parkway Christian School, but as it was before in middle school, sports and the arts are a part of my DNA.

It wasn’t until I attended Parkway Christian during my last two years of high school that the artistic and creative side came back, and I was very happy. Art is my safe space, but then other people come along who have built the discipline to improve their craft/skills while mine stay stagnant and inconsistent. When I attended Columbia College Chicago, my skill was challenged and it made me frustrated, but I want to learn from the community built there. It’s very different than a liberal college like Madonna University because it’s all about the structure in some classes except for a drawing class with a woman named C.D. I believe in God and the situation that brought me back home.

2) The Big Man Upstairs Did That! And maybe some misguided choices were made by me.

“Sometimes HE makes better choices for us than we could have ever made for ourselves-Jennifer Hudson.” I will say that the pandemic did give me some food for thought. For example, I started a self-portrait challenge to learn how to love my body and appreciate the extra baggage that came with it. This experience has opened my eyes to the possibilities of a series of paintings or using different mediums. I used watercolor paint, acrylic, charcoal, a very loose colored crayon, and a colored pencil version. I wanted to complete a series with my whole body meaning feet, hands, my hair, maybe even my face, but something known as me decided to stop. I had C.D kind of hold my hand throughout the process especially teaching me the ins and outs of art-making mediums.

I had to get a job to pay off my student loans from Madonna when I dropped out to pursue this goal. However, that meant that anything fun such as taking art classes needed to go out of the window. I made the choice to push anything relating to art into the back of my mind, but that didn’t God or my thoughts don’t lead to artists pages/websites, challenges for myself to complete, ideas to write in my idea’s notebook. I consumed art YouTubers and artists on social media on a regular basis. Even though, it’s a constant thought pushed to the front of my eyes; I have never fully returned to art. I substitute that with a different subject such as schoolwork-related classes or creating illustrations for articles that I’ve written.

The question is how I do re-enter the art community, art world, and find myself there again without losing other ideas or activities that may have steered me away?

3) Try to Improve my Craft

Finding ways to come back to art is like trying to reconnect with an older sibling who was gone for a long time. I know this from personal experience because I have an older brother who hasn’t been in my life for as long as I can remember. I knew he was my brother in my head because it registered when I saw him, but there is space between us that is more than physical. To re-enter into the world slowly, I decided to make small things in my life starting with my phone consumption

I created an art-related Instagram to post artwork every day, every week, or every month; either way, it’s to promote consistency. If you want to check it out, my Instagram handle is @haleycasonart.

I am started to use Google Calendar as a way to schedule in time for a creative time whether it’s writing, creating something online, or in my sketchbook. There are times where I swipe the notification away because it would awaken me from my random thoughts or it’s interrupting something important like “Me-Time” whatever that consists of.

Add one or two art classes per semester through my school or a different online learning platform such as Skillshare, Oberlo, CreativeLive.

I try to connect with my college art professor who I connect with on an emotional level when it comes to art and life. I call her my LOAA (Life of An Artist) Guru.

I am writing articles on Medium, so I’d try to incorporate artistic tools to get my creative flow. For example, I try to photoshop images to my liking from Unsplash or Pexels, use Canva to create blog post images or Instagram posts for when I post the article as a teaser.

Now, onto the subject of how to return to art mentally and emotionally, not just adding tasks into my schedule. I still need to do a lot of mindset shifting or maybe accepting that fate is trying to tell me that art shouldn’t be in the cards for me. However, I refuse to believe that nonsense. According to an article by Celine Terranova who calls herself “The Part-Time Artist”, there are four aspects of coming back to your art practice after a while. I connect with the name part-time artist on a mental and emotional level because I consider myself contingent.

1) Acceptance: It’s important to avoid feeling guilty for losing the drive and will to create anything. In fact, some artists created their own home studios with the space that have such as their living room, dining room, or patio. There are some who did not see this as an opportunity to create more and that’s okay. I believe I barely did that, mental health became the priority, and learning how to be with creating. “The sooner you accept whatever happened that caused the long break, the sooner you will leave any guilt or resentment towards yourself behind (Terranova. 2020).” Trust me accepting what has happened or forgiving yourself is no easy task. I am still learning how to do this from past wounds that I didn't know were considered wounds, but research ways on how, talk to someone, create an art journal as your first project coming back. either way start.

2) Rediscovery: When it’s time to get back on the horse of creating, look at old notebooks with ideas, unfinished projects, goals that are set as resolutions. Set aside time to go over those things, to remember who you were as an artist and maybe a person. With this side, you can decide whether to return to what you used to do or go on a different path, trying both is something to do as well. Rediscover what you love about the project, finish for the sake of completing it or start something. What’s that saying, “Your 20’s are for personal development and self-discovery”; it’s the same concept.

3) Patience: The old routine of being productive, having a motivational/inspirational wall dedicated to your favorite types of art and what type of art you want to make, time management. Remember how she said in step 2 is about to rediscover, which means finding the confidence, resetting goals, and starting small. These things take time, just like practice makes perfect.

4) Joy: Celebrating the little wins can add up to big wins. When starting the journey, it might be easier to keep moving by patting yourself on the back for hurdling over the mountain that is the LONG BREAK. It’s okay to reward ourselves, sometimes it will not feel like something celebratory, sometimes it may feel like you are dragging your feet especially if we are comparing ourselves to other people whose skill level is beyond what we dream of. Remember the goal of why you wanted to go back to art. Sometimes a good mind map would hurt either.

In the END

According to the many dictionary sites, re-entry is the action of returning to a place, organization, or activity that you have departed from. I didn’t my past experiences with rejection from my dad and myself would impact how I diminish my spirit as an adult.

Explore your past, find out what lead you where you are right now. It could be God, the universe or whatever source of spiritual power represents you, they could be preparing you for a comeback to be departed from that place for good. Follow your intuition and see where it leads.

Starting with little tasks each day, every day, every week, every month is a goal within itself. It’s okay to start over or continue where you left off, but along the way find yourself again.