Ready for Love.

Here I am again with my keyboard and my million thoughts that flood my head DAILY!.

If you have attempted to start your own Self Love journey. You know that it's not only Love that you need. It's Self-Respect as well. And this one right here has been a struggle of mine. How much do I respect myself? What do I allow people to do to me? How do I let people treat me or speak to me? The list can go on an on.

I am not licensed nor claiming to be a Therapist. I am a woman that is fed up with being mistreated by those I love, and I want more becasue I know I deserve more. And I want to share what helps me get through my days of depression, anxiety, or even my thoughts of suicide.

Mental Health until recently was always a stigma that no one ever liked to talk about or acknowledge. It often was pushed under the rug and ignored in the hopes it would kink itself out. And this is not the case at all.

I have always been the type that seemed strong on the outside. Never let things get to me. I think my family and friends assumed that I am this powerful being that has it all together and nothing can bring me to my knees. Sadly they are so far from the truth it's kinda scary how I have been able to keep this a secret for all these years.

I was Physically abused up until April of 2017, Emotinally, Verbally and Mentally not much has changed. Will it ever probaly not, which is why I want to be a stronger Me I can possibly be. And every day is like learning to walk for the first time. Every time I feel negative about myself, I remind myself that I am worthy of happiness, I am worthy of a happy life. Nothing and no one can tell me otherwise. Sometimes I can bounce back right away, and sometimes, I have to wait for the cloud to pass. And not having anyone to talk to doesn't help it only makes me feel even more lonely and lost.

But writing this down has helped me, because I am hoping that even 1 reader will find hope in my words. Find the beginning of their Self-Love Journey, Self-Respect Journey. A journey that is so worth it.

Standing up to my fears, how do I do it. I stop and think about the life I have lived and remind myself that I only have this one life to live. I won't get another chance. I no longer want to be bound by the demons that have always tried to hold me down and keep me down or vice versa the demons that have haunted those around me and that try desperately to swallow me whole as well.

I say that becuase I do feel like my husband has been bound by his demons for years, and each time he goes deeper and deeper into their chokehold, I think he looses sight on his life and what he has. And trust me I do pray for his release. For his salvation. Sometimes the thought in my head is that I would hate to see him completely lose himself, and its my duty as a wife to be there and help him in his weakest form. But where I am conflicted is because it was always at the cost of my Self-Love , My Self-Respect. Always hearing from him how I am no good.

In this case what does a person do. Better yet what does a wife do... I love myself I respect myself is what I tell myself. And even though I do struggle with this every day, I am determined to be happy. I am determined to live a happy life.

Learning that we Humans thrive for affection and acceptance, eases my mind in knowing that it is not just me that wants to be accepted or loved. But the problem is where and how do we satisfy this need when others might be feeling the same way we are feeling. Or some just don't care enough to learn or even listen.

I get it everyone's life is busy and full of distractions. Mine is as well. But it is very important that we all stop sometimes and say "Hi" to the person across the room because sometimes its that "Hi" or "Hello how are you doing" , that will definetly change someones opinion of themselves and change the course of their day to do the same to the next and soooo on.

Talking about and speaking about Mental Health is so important. Because of our busy fast paced lives we ALL forget to put back into Ourselves, and once the self negelct takes place it can sometimes spiral from there. I never thought this to be true and yet it happened to me.

I'm sure at some point some might be thinking, " How can you offer advice or give motivation to others when you youself still use or need motivation, or are in no position to help anyone else". Here is the answer to that.....

First off there is no limit to the amount of motivation a person can recieve or give. Let alone need.

Being apart of a community where people can relate and understand you is such a powerful thing. I am not looking for a crutch to latch onto to. I am looking for healing and to achieve that I am putting myself and my story out there so that anyone who needs healing can see my words and not only read but know that they are not alone. Most times when we are in these types of situations we are afraid to speak to anyone becuase we feel like we are the only one to go through this. And that no one would understand and only judge us for being weak. What I am hoping to do is spread the word that no one is ever alone.

So changing the way we think about how much motivation a person may need is key. And the bigger key is changing the idea on how much motrivation a person can give is a bigger key to the problem.

Motivating someone to be the best them possible is not only rewarding it is a crucial element in anyone's Self-Love Journey, to recieve and be surrounded by positive and constructive motivation.

I do hope that if you are like me or know someone like me you take this read and make a difference in someone elses life. Take the time to listen. It's time we make a change for the future. We have all these changes for a Greener Future which is important and I am onboard, but we can't forget Humanity in the process. We can't forget Our Mental Health. We are the future as well. Our Kids, Nieces & Nephews are the furture as well. So ask yourself this ..... " What good is a Greener Tomorrow if Humanity No Longer Exists ".

Thanks for the read. Don't forget to come back for more, and share with those that need to read this.

Stay Happy. Stay Healthy & Many Blessings!