Prioritizing Rest

Who has time to rest? We are fed this attitude like resting is for the uber-rich or super lazy. That we “normal” people don’t deserve and can’t afford to rest. You have heard the phrase, “Time is money.” Yet, innately we all know, we all feel, resting is a necessity.

Rest has a direct effect on our ability to think, work, move and play, all for the positive. We are given mixed messages about this concept.

At the workplace, if we prioritize rest we get labeled as lazy or demanding. At home -- often doing is what makes you a valuable asset to the family. You do because you get loved because of it. Messaging from society and within families, work now, play later ring loudly. Or for some, work hard, play hard--- but often that extra energy comes at all sorts of health costs.

Some are pushed hard by the inner, or outer voices about how often to workout, eat meals, socialize, or sleep. Our bodies crave rest, and yet it feels taboo, even like we are lost in terms of how to do nothing.

So often we rest and feel guilt.

Ask yourself, is that even helpful? Does that even count as rest? I mean if I am trying with all my might to stuff down the feelings of, "I'm not good enough, or if I don’t clean the whole house now, everyone will be mad at me"…. resting just feels deeply uncomfortable, and I don’t feel rested at all afterward. It's as productive as blow-drying your hair in the rain. (please don't try this life-threatening dangerous metaphor meant to help you realize the audacity of guilty resting.) And let’s not forget those times where we literally collapse or get sick, and we count that as resting, instead of ... surviving. What it comes down to is the cliche, it's a balance, and we don’t have a road map that is acceptable.

I know I can be a type A get stuff done kind of gal. I am highly organized and efficient. It has helped me to be a more confident person. I don’t want to throw all that away just because I am supposed to rest. I am a mom, who works full time and is deeply introverted. I love being with my family, and being alone. I want to transform the guilt I feel around resting into presence, and kindness that supports me and my family.

Today I will share with you some simple tips to support you resting guilt-free more often. Just like practicing anything, these tips are designed to grow with you.

I am not going to give you the classic list, this is a bit abstract to invoke your own inner map to reappear in your life.

Week 1. Make a list.

Make a list of some of the things that you like doing that fill you up.

That you smile when you think about, that you have always wanted to try, or just like the idea of. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t done or even thought of these things for years. Just set a timer for 5 minutes and write whatever comes to your mind, don’t critique yourself, just practice listening. I think of it like I was asking someone else, someone who I thought was extremely interesting. How would you listen and ask them this question? How would your body feel? Pretend that you are that other person, and also yourself, can you embody both perspectives in this exercise.

Part two-Set a timer for 5 minutes and make a list of some of the things that after do them --- you feel calm. Hint: some of these might be on the prior list.

Bonus: Write down or circle 3 of these items and add them into your calendar (for this week) right now. If you don’t schedule it, it's not real.

Week 2. Go Outside.

Right away when you read that caption, how did you react? Can you notice this without judging it?

Some of us might become disgruntled about needing to dress for the weather, or having no where to really go “I live in the city”, or I have to drive someplace... etc, etc. while these things you are thinking have truth in them, I am going to ask you to open up to a new perspective.

Are you able to go outside for 20 minutes EVERY day this week?

Are there places nearby that you have always wanted to visit? Can you be outside without being on any devices, listening to anything except the noise that outside brings? And each day, after your time outside, ask yourself, how does this feel? Like really ask, and write down what you notice.

Bonus: add "go outside" to your calendar or set reminders in your phone (for this week) right now.

Week 3. Taste it.

This week choose a mealtime. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Bonus points if you make sure there is something fresh on your plate at this mealtime too. At this mealtime, set a timer for 5 minutes. Practice for these 5 minutes to TASTE your food, you might even wear a blindfold, or close your eyes. Do not do anything else except eat. What do you taste? How are the textures on your tongue? What stands out to you? What do you like? After your meal, write down three things you noticed each day.

Bonus: Write down which meal you will be doing this and add them into your calendar (for this week) right now.

Double Bonus: plan a day that you can make yourself a simple meal, and see if you can just be with you and the food - no outside distractions while you prepare it.

Week 4. Quiet

This one might be the hardest.

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit or lay comfortably, without any devices.

Just sit in the silence. You could call this meditation, or just simply trying to be without doing. For me, this one has been frustrating before it is rewarding, and it's the gift that keeps on giving.

Bonus: When will you do this each day? Add QUIET into your calendar or phone (for this week) right now.

Double Bonus: try for 15 min every day this week.

Please know this is a gift that keeps on giving. Your future self will thank you, as will the others in your life. I believe in you.