if this, than that

When I look up from the keyboard I see clutter. Clutter everywhere. The table that I am using as my desk is full of papers, not all eight and a half by eleven, but all sizes. Torn rectangle ish scraps: one containing a book recommendation from a client, another part of a grocery list, there is even one that has comingled items: notes from a talk about biomechanics of the shoulder joint, and the beginnings of a poem. Things that can not be filed, because isn't the point of notes to stick out and remind you of something. I have tried the digital version to no avail because it too gets buried. I sigh, and swivel my chair into the rest of the apartment to see dished overstuffed in the open shelving in the kitchen, the thoroughfare, from here to there has a couch with electronics, more papers, three cups and books, some in stacks, some strewn around like litter, decorating the floor with no reasonable explanation as to why. I don't identify as a slob, but when you look around my space, perhaps I am.

A friend recommended I watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, and I resisted, but when I saw a picture of this woman, I warmed to the idea, she was not intimidating, her voice sounded like a wind chime on the most delicate breeze, and I liked her style. I watched this show, and with each episode, I was more and more sold, I really liked this ceremonial idea of things having a place, and that only those items which sparked joy within me were worth keeping. This felt almost rebellious, as I watched characters from the show throwing multiple garbage sacks away, and how their whole demeanor changed. I began to wonder what would happen if I was brave enough to also surround myself with only things that brought genuine joy to me. It was this underlying feeling of redefining what I wanted, what felt good to me, it felt like something much deeper than simply riding.This daunting dream of even my notes and scraps having organization. Anyhow, as she outlines in the show -- (there is also a book) -- start with clothing. Something really happens inside when you take a good look at all you own, like you put it out, all in one place.

I felt gluttonous.

How could I have so many items of clothing and so often feel like I had nothing to wear? And what would happen when I got to the paper portion?At times this thought almost haulted all progress, and so the show continued to motivate me.

Once the whole apartment was sorted, and I had finished the whole series of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I too felt lighter, however, there was a bland sense for it all, and though I want to recommend this method, as it really allowed me to get rid of a lot of stuff that really was not necessary for my life. Being able to see the table that I was using as a desk was almost shocking at the beginning. The notes had a board like system, which was also a test.

After some time I realized, I did not love feeling like I was walking into a museum each time I came home, I wanted a bit more spunk. This desire for spunk leads me to another series. This one is called The Home Edit. Basically, these two ladies are major organizers and they love a rainbow theme. Colorful, bold, and clean. In this show they showcase both their celebrity clients and also the more regular ones. The later of which I resonate well with, since I don't have a whole extra room just for costume keepsakes. Ha.

With my few, but mighty joyful belongings I am able to create the feeling of color and spunk that I was looking for. My note board now features colorful sticky notes and columns for different topics - like books, groceries, ideas for writing projects, etc. The skeptic in me is definitely thinking this will be a disaster, while the eternal optimist is thinking encouraging hopeful ones... time is the true test.

I recommend these two shows. Watch first, Tidying up with Marie Kondo and if you like it, then watch The Home Edit. They are both on Netflix. I find shows like this very motivating, and they give me the push to get rid of items that are weighing me down coupled with the fun, its-ok-to-be-a-little-loud vibe and my apartment looks and feels like someplace I want to be. Which for most of us means a lot, with a pandemic all around, means a whole lot more time in our homes.