Planting Seeds of Joy

Drained and wilted like a neglected flower, both my physical and mental health were showing signs of the abuse. The doctor warned that if I didn’t reduce the amount of stress in my life, I would definitely be checking out early. Whether self-inflicted or bestowed, I became entwined in a labyrinth of responsibility that was incarcerating. Years of caring for an aging parent with a myriad of health issues and medications; raising and helping to educate a child with special needs from his premature birth; and running a business with a husband was just too much for me to handle. At the end of the day, all I could do was plop myself into an easy chair in front of the tv and drown out my worries with a few glasses of discounted wine while unconsciously munching on salty chips or pretzels. Flipping through the news channels only added to the stress as the top stories exposed the harsh reality of our world where corruption, greed, and violence rule. This volatile combination started deteriorating my health by elevating my blood pressure and making me swell up like a balloon. I was worn out. Without “Joie de Vivre”, why go on? I just didn’t care anymore.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a necessary one as I was no longer able to provide the level of care my mother now needed. After the last of a string of emergency room visits, she transitioned from a skilled nursing facility to assisted living where she spent the last year of her life. It was a lovely place with a cheerful and professional staff, plenty of social activities and a nice dining room with restaurant quality meals. It was also respite for me and it allowed me to enjoy just being with her rather than worrying about managing her rapidly declining health. Thankfully she didn’t have to experience the loneliness or suffer from complications of COVID-19 as she passed away peacefully almost two years before the pandemic hit.

While the rest of the world was under quarantine, we were busy preparing for the same inevitable fate. I couldn’t imagine a life of having nothing to do, so before any official notification of a lockdown happened, I jumped into action and into my van to the local Home Depot. Within hours, I had my van full of everything I needed and started putting my vision of a memorial garden into action. An avid gardener in her prime, Mom was the president of the local garden club and won several blue ribbons at the flower show and proudly offered her sage advice to anyone with ears. I regret that I didn’t take an interest in gardening sooner, as it would have been a great project to do together. I would have done all of the physical work and she would have told me how to do it. Oh yeah, well maybe that’s why I didn’t do it earlier. But now, in the midst of a global pandemic, I can, at last, find the time to create such a beautiful garden that I know she would have been very proud of.

My husband would often complain that he couldn’t stand the red color of the fence, and that it subconsciously made him more aggressive. Better to blame that on the fence than on me! We desperately needed to transform our home into a place of tranquility. After careful consideration and studying the effects of color on the psyche, sage green was chosen in hopes of it positively impacting our mental and physical well-being. Justifying that it was cheaper than therapy, I didn’t even think twice about the cost. With a stay-at-home order looming over us, I knew I needed to work fast. I filled two flatbed carts with several gallons of paint, brushes and rollers; river rocks, stones, gravel, bags of soil; Fiskars pruning shears, clippers and scissors for cutting and trimming the garden; tomato, zucchini, red pepper, garlic, green bean and basil plants; and an array of seed packages of various types for several years. After loading my van, I still had some room left in the front seat of the van, so I went back to get the lemon tree I had pondered over along with a beautiful cobalt blue ceramic planter large enough to stage it in. It would provide a nice contrast to the bright yellow lemons that the tree would bear and the focal point of the garden.

It was the middle of March in 2020 when the quarantine began and I started painting the fence, not realizing what a huge undertaking this was. I counted 26 x 6’x8’ panels and after completing the first one, wondered if I should be institutionalized because, clearly, I had lost my mind thinking I could actually do this project myself. I loved to paint, as being alone with your thoughts can soothe the soul and seeing immediate results is rather gratifying. But this was daunting. I’m not sure if it was the fear of having to look at this unfinished project all summer long or if they were truly worried about my mental and physical health, but my husband and son joined in to help me finish it. We didn’t have the extra time I was dreaming of because our business was considered an essential one and we had to work. But there still was time after work and on weekends, so within about two weeks the fence was painted. It is a remarkable difference, and there we can confirm that the psychology of using color to elevate one’s mood does, in fact, work. Although we’ve been forced to spend more time at home, the green is so much calmer and makes us want to be at home instead of wanting to run away from it.

A neighbor had some extra stone pavers from her backyard project and had offered us what was leftover if we came to pick them up. She even let us use her wagon to shuttle them to our van. We quickly loaded the van with as many paver stones as we could without weighing it down too much and with the help of a cart got them to the backyard. I carefully placed each one as I had a calming design that incorporated them with some rocks and pebbles to create a dry riverbed between the plants.

Using a combination of materials such as repurposed wood and bricks, we made a raised bed for a vegetable garden, and used a variety of pots and containers for herbs and tomato, cucumber, radishes, red pepper, eggplant, green bean and zucchini plants. We weren’t sure how long this pandemic would last, but I considered there was a possibility of food shortages and being able to grow your own food seemed a good idea.

No longer having to drag myself out of bed, I was happy to get up and see the progress in my garden each morning. Some plants, like the tomatoes needed watering every day and I soon learned that others, such as the cucumbers and zucchini were happier to be watered every other day. As soon as I noticed holes in the leaves or some signs of mold, Google gave me the advice I needed to fight off the garden pests that were trying to destroy my work. A mixture of soapy water and Neem oil in a spray bottle worked wonders as a natural defense. Nurturing these plants from seed or sprouts brings a sense of immense pride for enabling the bounty of nature to develop.

I now have a tranquil spot in my garden to relax and have a coffee, read a book or just sit and enjoy the beauty of something I helped to create. I finally went back to the doctor and no longer have high blood pressure and all of my other lab results were normal. My doctor is amazed that I’ve been able to reduce my stress and live a happier and healthier life without any medication.

Having a garden full of herbs and vegetables for a chef is a dream come true. You get to choose your vegetables at their peak of ripeness, and can create dishes of exceptional quality, right from your own backyard. Herbs should be trimmed with a good pair of sharp scissors rather than plucking them to prevent damaging the plant and to encourage new growth. It is also better to use scissors instead of a knife to chop herbs to prevent bruising the leaves. In the picture below, I’ve made a chiffonade of basil with my sharp Fiskars scissors to add to my tomato basil soup.

There is no greater satisfaction than creating and nurturing your own garden, making healthy and delicious food from your harvest and then sharing it with those you love.