Painful Memories

Marie was at the top of the hill where she could see everything from the entire village to the mountains that surrounded what she called her haven. The view was incredible. After several days of avoiding the trail, Marie was happy she was still at her pace without too much strain.

After heading down the hill she could feel someone watching her from afar. She purposely ignored it. Focused on her pace she continued on. The trees were swaying and she could smell the freshly cut in Mr. Carter's yard.

Taking the hill was her favorite part of the run. She looked forward to reaching the trail that took her into the park. She was still heading down when she could hear another runner behind her. She slowed down to let him pass.

She turned to see what he looked like and to her surprise, he looked like someone from her past. The runner smiled and waved at her and continued on his way.

Marie couldn't believe it. Could it be that he didn't recognize her or was it just someone that looked like him? She started down the trail again. She wanted to catch up, but she could not see him anymore.

All of a sudden she started to feel like that scared little girl that she once was and did not want to be like ever again. Emotion came over her and she started to cry. She ran faster than she’d run in a long time. She could feel the dirt under her shoes and the sweat on her forehead.

The emotion subsided as she ran past the line of pine trees when she first met up with her running team. She stopped to take in the view and remember something positive from her recent past. The grass was green and the trees were uniformly cut. She forced herself to think of all the new faces she had just met at that meet.

The other runners went past her and she could hear the chatter. She realized she didn’t even feel them go by her. Again she started on her way.

She was now at the stop sign where she could see the park. There were families having picnics and balls were being thrown around. The frisbee was flying high towards the white dog and the kite was flying high.

She ran in place and all of a sudden a feeling of fear came over her. She could feel the breeze. But now she was feeling the fear that she thought she had buried so long ago.

Now she was running faster and didn't see the trail or that big tree she always marks as her halfway point. She slowed down to catch her breath and again that feeling of being watched from afar came over her.

She looked left then looked right. All she could see was this man's face. The man that hurt her, the man that ripped her apart physically, mentally, and emotionally. She wanted to run the memory out of her system.

Marie was now in an unfamiliar area, but she quickly turned back and got on the trail. She felt like she couldn't run fast enough. She ran up to her spot, took a deep breath, and told herself it was all in her head.

She was back down to the road where she could see the local mom and pop shops. She felt a sense of relief as she came closer to her familiar path.

Then she took on the turn and there he was again. He was with the group of runners that meet at that cafe every Tuesday afternoon.

Taking a deep breath again she walked towards the group. She could hear his voice in her head. She could feel the pain on her back and all over her body again.

The swelling on her face seemed to appear again as it did many years back. Her arm hurt again as it did once when she took that fall down the stairs. She could almost taste the blood on her lips again. The pain she felt back then was present in every sense, but these bruises were not visible anymore.

As she came closer to the group she tried hard to hide her tears. She was angry and scared, but she knew she was not that little girl anymore who feared his every move. After telling herself that she was not back in her teen years she walked up to the cafe.

As he turned to look at her Marie shook and her tears covered her face. One of the other runners came to her. She asked if she was okay and if she needed help.

This was not the same man that hurt her, but he looked like him. It took Marie a few minutes to realize that. The runner brought her water and helped her sit down.

She could not believe this was happening. The day before her big race, how could this be happening? Marie took a deep breath, apologized to her, and told her she'd see them at the race tomorrow.

The man looked at her and didn't seem to know or recognize her. This gave Marie a sense of relief.

She started off again. She ran without stopping until she came to her apartment building. She was tired and emotionally exhausted but was glad that the man she feared down the street was not the man in her past.

It had been some time since she had thought about him and the life she lived hiding in the shadows and in fear. It seemed like it had been in another life. A life she had buried deep in her subconscious that was now coming to light. How could this be, is my mind betraying me? she thought.

She sat in the hot water reminding herself of all the good things happening in her life now. She had a great job, her own money, and could do whatever she wanted when she wants to. There was no way he'd find her in this small village with her new identity, new job, and new life.

Marie looked at her shoes, smiled, and told herself she was ready for the race, ready to win, and never look back.

In A Short Run