Selfish Unfaithful Runner

James was frustrated and a lot was going through his mind. He thought he was selfish for having these thoughts, but most of all he regretted it all.

He reached down to tie his shoe, all he could think of was Rebecca’s face when she opened the door. The tears and hate all in her eyes.

Then came his selfish thought of how he was sure he’d never get caught.

As he pulled up his shorts he tried really hard to figure out why he didn’t hear her come up the stairs. Another thought he was trying to ignore.

He ran in place for two minutes at the end of the stairs. He took a deep breath, stretched, and started his run.

His music blasted in his ears, but he couldn’t really hear the music. He took one step and then another, all he could hear was Rebecca’s cry. Her face was all he could see. Her tears and rage were all he could think about. No, no he said to himself, this cannot be true.

He turned the corner and could see the bus coming towards him. Mrs. Lee was crossing the street when he reaches the corner. As usual, she waves as he runs in place while he waits for the light to turn green and he counts ten, nine, eight seven, and so on.

James ran extra fast for the next three blocks trying to get the guilt feeling and the sad images out of his head.

His heart pounded and the sweat came from his forehead down to his neck.

Now all he could hear was his heartbeat. One more mile he thought.

As he took the next turn he can see a fellow runner. It was Rebecca’s friend. She seemed to have spotted him, but he purposely went in the opposite direction.

Guilt set in again and again all he could see is Rebecca’s confused face with rage and anger in her eyes.

He ran in place and thought of her words and how he made her feel. He betrayed the only true love he had. For one night of lust, he lost everything he had worked so hard for and even earned.

All his dreams of traveling the world with the love of his life were gone. The idea of being the husband of the perfect mother, wife, and companion was now gone.

The light turned green and then red again. He ran in place for what seemed a long time. He was about to take the pavement again when a car honked at him. He stepped back and waited for the green light. He ran faster and took that turn without noticing he was not on his normal route.

The view of pink trees on both sides of the street shocked him a little. These were Rebeca’s favorite. It reminded him of the day he took her on a walk to see the trees. Sadly the day they looked at the MRI together and got the news. The very day he swore to her he would never leave her side even when the disease takes over her.

He was at the end of the block and his chest felt heavy and he could barely breathe. He slowed down but didn’t stop.

This was all in his head he thought. It’s the guilt of betrayal. The feeling of a coward that made her world crash. She was sick and on her way to being in a wheelchair and now all alone.

James did everything he could to not look at his phone again. He didn’t want to admit she was gone and he caused it. There were no more sweet texts telling him she loved him. No more reminders to come home to a hot meal and a warm bed full of true love.

He took the next turn and was now on his normal route. He was trying hard to go to the beat of the music in his ears when he sees Rebecca outside their favorite coffee shop.

She looked sad, not her perky self. She was not in her normal cute running outfit. She was in her lazy day sweats. She had her hair in a messy ponytail and was holding what looked like a cane.

She hadn’t used that cane for some months now and his feeling of guilt told him he was the reason why her nerves have started to hurt again.

He waited for her to get in her car and drive away. The coffee shop reminded him of all their short morning walks to a great cup of coffee. He could still smell her hair and feel her hand in his as he remembered that special morning when she said “yes.”

All of a sudden he felt like he could run all night.

He wanted to feel some kind of punishment for what he had done. But the run was over and now he had to go home and face the music of all he had done.

As he came closer up towards the back door all he could see were her boxes. Boxes that were labeled with her name on them. They were along the driveway as if ready for someone to pick up.

The guilt set in again because he knew that everything in the boxes now made his house empty and lonely. James didn’t know what to do. He sat at the stairs with tears in his eyes and regret that filled his heart.

There’s no worse feeling in the world than guilt until you can do something about the harm you have caused on another.

Guilt can make you do crazy things to yourself. It changes you in so many ways.

You’re never the same especially when you can’t come out and tell everyone what you’ve done.

It was race day and James was alone. No pretty loyal girl by his side. He walked around to avoid the normal crowd, but from a distance watched everyone looking for him and his loyal companion.

Now it was time to face the world and what he had done.

The race was on and everyone was at the finish line waiting for him!

In A Short Run