Out With The Old In With The New

Prepare yourself to see ‘New Year New Me’ posts all over social media. I will be honest and say I used to follow this quote almost every year. I felt as though following that quote would almost bring a sudden fresh start to all my issues, in my mind it contributed to confidence and change, as the year progressed at times this wasn’t always the case. I have learnt that you can focus on yourself, manage relationships, live a healthy lifestyle and much more, all in stages. In my adult years, I can say, sometimes giving yourself additional pressure to achieve goals within a year may not be realistic. You can have goals for yourself and manage them wisely as you go along. So, as the new decade approaches, I don’t fancy the ‘New Year New Me’ routine but will step into 2020 as I am. I will nevertheless embrace the freshness added to my years and continue to be happy.

I do appreciate why individuals would want to recreate themselves in the new year. A fresh start can be incredible and motivational for individuals.

I value having lived through an entire decade. I have encountered different experiences, lost loved ones, met family members, learnt lessons, experienced the vulnerability of emotion, grown within myself and relationships have been tested and rebuilt.

I began this decade at the age of 19, looking back now a lot has improved. I no longer live in my family home, I am married, I re-entered studying and this has led me to higher education, I’ve healed from difficult experiences and most beautifully I am a mum. This decade wasn’t always picture perfect as we lost family members some so tragically. I lost myself through experiencing low mood and bereavement. The lessons I learnt from this was loving myself and seeking help when needed.

Here’s a little break down of my life over the past decade.

Work

From 2010-2020 my attitude towards work has altered. I didn’t value career and development when I was 19. I now have responsibilities an I am certain on what career path I would like to embark on. Although I’ve remained in the same career field which is mental health, my passion has grown. I’m enhancing myself by studying a BSc Honours in Psychology with Counselling. I am fortunate for this and I hope within the next decade I’ll be further up the career ladder. I am happy to be working, volunteering and supporting individuals who are mentally unwell. Acknowledging, that I remain happy within my role reassures me that I’ve made the right choice.

The Journey

My life so far has been a list of dos’ and don’ts. I have made a few mistakes that I have learnt from. I can however say that the lessons were necessary to make me who I am today. No one will go about life’s journey doing everything spot-on. Maturing has been the main test for me, and I have spoken about this in previous posts. My core issue was my attitude, I didn’t know how to be humble and affectionate until I understood what love was. My daughter taught me how to love and be patient. I can now say I don’t have the time or energy to be negative or harbour heavy emotions. After all, I am a role model to my daughter and I never want her to witness life as difficult. I want to show her life is worth living and it’s a better journey if your motivated and happy.

Relationships

Most of my relationships have flourished through this decade. Family and friends continue to be a major support. I have friendships that have grown and some that have ended. The friendships that have ended was simply me realising that it wasn’t wise to have such energy around. Joining social media has reconnected me to a lot of family and friends which has been beautiful. I am astounded with all the love and support I get from everyone. I’ve also recognised, that relationships can be problematic and challenging, but if it has significance to you it will always remain and grow.

Motherhood

I will never forget going to my scan to see if I had any further troubles with my ovaries. As I laid on the bed, I remember the nurse going silent and then saying Carlene congratulations your 6 weeks pregnant. I was 23 when I found out an I was over the moon. I do remember skipping down the corridor of Ealing Hospital, such a blessing I had growing inside me. At the age of 24 I had my angel and it has been wonderful. I truly believe my daughter was brought here to give my life purpose and to open my eyes to what true love means. As a mum you are faced with challenges but somehow always get through. Becoming a mum turned me into a woman.

My Timeline

2010 – I Genuinely didn’t have a clue where life was going until I met the love of my life.

2011 – Moved out of my family home

2012 – Romantic days and romantic nights

2013- A Christmas proposal

2014- Beginning of the year I find out I’m pregnant. April 23rd, I got married and October 6th I gave birth to my angel.

2015- First year of being a mum an I was extremely low.

2016- I passed my driving test.

2017-I finally travelled to another Caribbean island which was hubby’s home, Grenada. Commenced studying in higher education and made some amazing new friends.

2018- My two grandads, my grandma in law, uncle in law and cousin in laws passed away. This year was the worst.

2019- Focused on myself. I found myself. Moved into a new home. Started my blog.

2020 is pending, so before we pop our champagnes and toast, lets pause and be thankful for what we have.

I’d like to say thank you to everyone again for supporting me through this year and keeping it real with me. My support and comments in regard to this blog have been overwhelming. I hope in the new year all my readers continue to be touched and inspired by my words. It’s so validating when you all share your thoughts and experiences with me, it reassures me that I’m not alone. I just want you all to know I’m forever grateful.

So, here’s to adding freshness to our years, more laughter, success and building new memories. 2020 let’s make it shine.

Happy New Year in advance.