new year, new goals.

last year was a year that taught me a thing or two. one of the main things that it taught me was that i give myself a lot of excuses and i’ve been a bit lazier than normal and i have nobody to blame but myself. i did a lot of things last year that i probably shouldn’t, but i has to learn. i had to grow and that’s what i plan on doing this year.

one of the main things i want to really do more of is write. i have a hobby, role playing and it’s creatively the best thing that has happened to me. it’s an outlet that i have that i can control and i want to do more with it. i want to push my creativity as long as i can. i do plan on talking more about that here and even showing it off every chance i get. i don’t know how it’s going to be received and that’s okay. i just want to write and hopefully become entertainment for others. i have a lot of push behind me and i have people in my corner saying that i should and you know what, i am.

another thing that i want to really do is work on starting a podcast or being more active on it. i have it set in place, but i just haven’t used it like i wanted too. i want to use it and i want to voice my feelings and thoughts on different subjects from pop culture to things in the writing world and just be open. i know that people would enjoy it because of how i am open with my thoughts. i just have been giving myself excuses and i hate that. i want to do so much and i know i can i just have to do it. i know i can.

the biggest thing that i feel that is showing me who i am and truly who i’m becoming is my mental health. it’s not always in the best of the best, but it’s showing me that i am human and i do go through things. i do have issues and that’s okay. i’m learning how to handle the emotions day to day and honestly, it’s been hard. it’s been really hard for me but i’m trying. this year i’m going to try to vocalize how i’m feeling and not feel bad about it.

the last thing that i want to work on is making and rebuilding solid friendships that i have. i miss my friends and i know that i haven’t been the best of friend to people and that’s partially my fault. i have done a lot of wrong doings and said some wrong stuff and 2019 taught me that. i don’t want to be the person who makes the same mistakes. i can’t. i need to grow. last year wasn’t the best year and that’s just the harsh reality that i have to face.

i want to do a lot this year and mainly, i want to focus on me. i need to focus on me and what i’m doing or not doing. i want to make a change and i know i can. i know me well enough to know that this past year was a test and i failed. i failed horribly. i want to try and fix this and i plan too. this is me starting over. i’m going to handle my mess ups. i have too. i need to handle this. this is me stepping out and trying to do what i love and enjoy. i hope you all are ready for it. i am.