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paris fiona

her beginning.

By Tanise JacksonPublished 4 years ago 19 min read
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so, this is the first character i want to introduce you all too. paris is her name. she's a preachers daughter and a twin. she lives a glorious, care free life. she's a wild little thing, but i love her and this is only the beginning.

chasity vs lust

chastity

noun. the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.

"growing up in a baptist home and having the christianity thing basically forced down your throat is something that wasn't understood by me back then. you see, growing up with a father who is a pastor and a mother who wrote christian books, namely for women, you can obviously figure out that my twin and i were told everything that we could do, not do and all of that. when the topic of sex was brought up, honestly, they made it sound gross. they made it sound like something that wasn't enjoyable until you were married. they would always tell london and i that we should wait until we were married. we shouldn't be out here giving our purity away. they even got us chastity rings and everything. it was cute. they were gold and engraved from our parents and this little saying on the inside. it was cute. i still have mine, actually.

when i was fourteen and a freshman in high school, i had my first boyfriend. my first boyfriend was my first everything. ezra was loved by my whole family. my parents thought that he and i would eventually get married and have these kids and make the world happier. we were cute, he and i. like, i remember when we met, it was actually pretty cute. i was a cheerleader or beginning my cheerleading career at lincoln, and i was going to practice. he was doing something with his friends, but his eyes were like glued to me. i didn't look, but my friends did and when they told me, i didn't believe them. i thought they were bullshitting around because they knew i had this crush on him. anyways, after practice, he was still roaming around the school as well and he stopped me just when i was about to leave with my cousin to go home. we talked a little, exchanged numbers and that's how it all started.

he meet my parents and they loved him instantly. he had a good head on his shoulders. he was very respectful. he and i were both involved in school. it was perfect. my twin, well, he wasn't too fond of her. he never would tell me why, but they never really got a long. i tried numerous times to get them to talk, but that never happened. after a year and some change of dating, he and i both were just relaxing at his house. we were watching a movie, and well, we started to make out and honestly, i just thought that it was going to stay at just that. i promised my parents that i wouldn't do anything with him that i shouldn't do, but that changed that night. believe me, i had no intentions of having sex with him then. i wanted to wait, i did but, we all know how kissing leads to other things. i never told my parents that i lost my virginity after that. they wouldn't have forgiven me."

lust

noun. very strong sexual desire.

verb. have a very strong sexual desire for someone.

"ezra created a monster. after that night, it was like i wanted sex almost all the time and he definitely wasn't complaining either. most girls wouldn't want to have sex like that, but i did. i wanted it all the time, or close to all the time. we had to be discreet about it when we were around my parents, but when they weren't around, oh it was a done deal. when i graduated from high school, i found myself really being free and traveling all over so, whenever i could, i would definitely go and get my fix from a friend of mine. yes, i have friends in very high places that know how to make me feel really good. one specifically was a best friend of mine. she, and yes, i do mean she, she was my best friend. i haven't seen her in awhile and i hope that bitch still living, but angelina was that girl. she was the one who got me into the whole having sex with girls. not even going to lie to you, i was nervous as hell about that. i was nervous as hell, but i didn't show it. the sex was great and well, we had it a lot. she and i had some wild nights, i'll say that.

all of our nights had to come to a halt when i met the guy who i thought was going to be my everything. mekhi was and still is a special person to me. he was the first guy that managed to get me to you know, dating again and wanting to take relationships seriously. he was just my type and importantly, he understood me in ways that many didn't. nobody could ever touch ezra because he was my first love, but mekhi was definitely a close second. the relationship that he had i had was deeper than sex, even though that's how it started. he and i had some amazing sex in some amazing places. i never thought that i would you know, feel those feelings again, but i did. he, just like ezra, was liked by my parents and my twin, well she didn't like him. my friends, well, they had a love hate relationship with him. needless to say, he and i didn't really focus on what others felt but how we felt. when we broke up though, it was a painful thing. i hated it. i hated him for making me feel again. i hated it.

however, he and i did rekindle a friendship that we have now. granted, it was rekindled by sex at some place around here, but that's beside the point. well, no that is the point. the welcoming sex that we had and still had up until a few months ago was great. he and i are friends and that's all it will be because i have a girlfriend and she ... she's something that i can't fuck up, well not literally. physically, she and i have that kind of sex that guys would love to watch. just thinking about it makes me...just know that we have some really great sex. well, all those good things that we shared came to a end and honestly, i'm glad. i'm in a better place than i was. granted me and my ex's have still remained friends and that's all fine and good. i can say that right now, i'm not really worried about dating anyone right now. i'm more focused on me and making sure that i'm where i want to be. yeah, i'm having sex still because why wouldn't i be? i'm just doing it more casually now. no, that doesn't make me a hoe so please don't start that bullshit."

temperance vs gluttony

temperance

noun. moderation or self-restraint, especially in eating and drinking.

"there are a few things that my parents tried to teach my twin and i and some of the things that they taught us or tried to teach us didn't sit well with me. moderation was one of those things. there was honestly nothing that i wanted that i didn't get. my parents created a monster in me and i don't think that they understood how. yeah, they would spread out the things that they gave me to make it seem as though it was given to me in moderation, but in all actuality, it wasn't. my parents hated that when they would give me something, i would turn around and ask for more of whatever it was that they gave me.

it was cute that they tried to use the word no as if i cared. i never cared. i was a brat. i cried about not getting certain things because, well i want what i want and if i didn't get what i wanted, i began to cry. it was something that just happened and i wouldn't dare change that. hell, they tried multiple times and it just never happened. they eventually gave in and thankfully so because i didn't have the time to be trying to fight with them."

gluttony

noun. habitual greed or excess in eating.

"as i got older, it only got worse. i wanted for everything and i got it. when my parents bought us this how down by the beach, which can we stop right there. i love my house. i love everything about my house. it's right on the beach and she would never want to get a new house. her house is literally her safe haven. that being out the way, when her parents asked her and london about what house they wanted, she said with a quickness that she wanted sandy shoals. she wanted the best of the best and that was exactly what she got. yeah, london wanted some place down in paineshart or some shit, but it's like, come on, look at me. the hell do i look like living there? no, i don't have anything against it, but it's not me. it doesn't fit who i am.

obviously, i got what i wanted and now that i have this house, i took the time to you know, decorate it the way that i want it and frankly, i wouldn't to change it. now, granted, i'm never there but it's not to say that i don't love my house because i do. i just tend to travel a lot just to get away. i love traveling whenever to wherever i want. i always have. it's not bad that i want it all, right? i mean, i deserve that. i'm insanely beautiful. insanely smart and i just want the best. my parents gave it to me so who am i to turn that down?

charity vs greed

charity

noun. the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.

"being a preachers daughter, i was always volunteering. i was at homeless shelters during the holidays helping pass food for the holidays. i was at the animal shelters. you name it, i did it. it gave me a sense of understanding that you know, there's a lot of people and or animals that don't have the comfort of being in a home, apartment, whatever and can't feed themselves and it's sad. it's really sad and its just a humbling thing to know that i'm a fournate person. granted, i still took things for granted, but whenever my parents saw that, i would be there and it was just, i don't know, it was humbling .. at the time."

greed

noun. intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food.

"i don't think i'm greedy. the people around me might, but i don't think i am. i mean, yeah, i want to be the best at everything that i do. i want to have the best .. everything. i already have enough money, but i mean having more wouldn't be a bad thing, right? i don't know, i don't think i .. maybe i am? i don't know. i just feel like, if i can get it and get all of it then i mean, why not? i know my sister is timid, very timid in comparison to me, but i like what i like and i have a very high taste and she's not like that. so i mean, i might be greedy, but is that really a bad thing? i don't think it is, if it is, so what? who the hell is going to stop me? i'm grown and i can be as greedy as i want. it's not hurting anybody around here so, i mean, what the hell?"

diligence vs sloth

diligence

noun. careful and persistent work or effort.

"the one thing that i never played with was my school work. i know when i was in high school. i was stressing out and i did pop a few pills to keep myself up during the day. that was when or around the time london left and i just, i couldn't handle it. like when your other half is not there, and she is my best friend, it fucked me up. it fucked me up so much that i had to rely on pills and i, i just, it took me awhile but i got through that and managed to pass without question. i say that to say that i would never toy with that. you can say whatever you want about me but you can't call me stupid. that would be a lie and i would literally ruin you. i take pride in that above [b]everything[/b]. college years, i joined a sorority and well, i was apart of that and i'm mad that i missed the mixer, but that's beside the point. everything that i do, i do it right or i won't do it. i'm a perfectionist like that."

sloth

noun. reluctance to work or make an effort; laziness.

"i believe that we all have those moments where we don't want to do this or that. i believe that because i'm that same way. i have my days when i don't want to do anything except lounge around my house and do nothing and i do. some days i can stay home and do nothing but cuddle up with my dog and be cool with that. i feel like that's not being lazy but it's just relaxing. now, being lazy with things of importance like school, i would never do. when it comes to the important shit, you thought i was lazy. no. hell no. it would be a cold day in hell before i let myself be lazy. please.

patience vs wrath

patience

noun. the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

"wow, okay. so, here's the thing. patience for me is something that i never really was good at having or maintaining. i don't like being around drama, and i tried to keep all of that at bay. whenever i was with my boyfriend(s) at the time and they didn't like london, there was always a divide there. whenever i was around my friends and they didn't like her, it was a divide. it was never peace around me and it really did piss me off. i just feel like, during those situations, i had to deviate it to where it wouldn't become something that wouldn't stop. it was just one of those things that i was kind of forced to have. i had to have patience with london and the people who didn't like her. it was like, i didn't want to make her mad, but in the same breathe, i had to choose. i hate doing that. i typically picked her over everybody, but when she left, it was like a slap in my face. it was one of those things like, okay, i broke up fights, i tried to get them to like you and you just leave? that pissed me off. i didn't argue with her, i just washed my hands of her. that's bad to say, but i did. it took awhile for me to forgive her and have my patience with her, but honestly, it's hard you know? it's hard.

wrath

noun. extreme anger (chiefly used for humorous or rhetorical effect).

"believe it or not, i don't have a temper. i used to when i was younger, like back in my high school days, but now i just don't care. when london left after graduation of high school, i was pissed off. i was popping pills left and right and just doing reckless shit. i was really pissed off like it was a bad time for me. i don't care about a lot of things anymore and that's definitely why you can say that i don't have that much anger. yes, i have my days when i just want to punch somebody in the face whenever my period comes through, but aside from that, it's not that bad. well, there was a time when i didn't really get a long with london and we do have our moments were i can't really stand her? it's a sister thing i suppose. i do feel like in some cases she's judging me for the things that i do or the people that i hang with. i know she didn't like angie and my other friends, but that was just, i don't even want to get into that. what i will say though, although that did piss me off, i don't let it get to me. honestly, when it pertains to my family, i'm not as close as i would ideally want to be, but i guess you can say that i'm working on it. same thing goes with a friend of mine. i don't know, i just get these vibes sometimes and i just don't let it get to me like i used too. i feel like i'm in a better place mentally and i just don't care about a lot of shit.

we did manage to talk about what happened when london left and when i found out what exactly happened, you can say that anger for them was something that i didn't want to have, but i couldn't help it. knowing that they're the reason that london and i didn't get along for years once she returned pissed me off. knowing that she didn't even try to reach me or get into contact with me pissed me off. you can say that i'm now not really feeling my family like i used too before and honestly, i don't even care. i don't. i haven't talked to my parents in a while and honestly, i don't know when or if i am."

kindness vs envy

kindness

noun. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

"growing up over the time, i have developed a sense of kindness and a soft heart to a few people. that is one thing that i have learned from my parent's excessive teachings and bitching over the years. i love being kind and sweet to those around me. my friends and i do mean my real friends know that i will go over and beyond for them. i pride myself on being a kind soul. some of my friends know that i can be a bit selfish from time to time, but you know what, its not that i pride myself on being selfish, well not all the time. i'm nice. i'm sweet and i'm giving. those that know me know this. that is something that i love about myself. people say that they're considerate and generous and all of that, but that just talk a whole lot of bull just to make themselves sound better. me, myself? there's action behind what i say."

envy

noun. a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

verb. desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else).

"if you know me and know me well, you would know that me having an envious bone in my body is something that would never exist. i feel as though, i don't want anything that these people that i know have. i have everything that i want and honestly, what the hell would i envy? i can literally buy everything under the sun, behind some rocks, any and everything. me being envious is a joke. now, some people might envy everything that i have and then some. there was actually no need for me to even talk about me and the word envy. please. that's a damn joke."

humility vs pride

humility

noun. a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

"you know, it's funny. my parents did teach me how to be humble and respectful and all of that. they taught us this and you know what, for a little bit and i do mean a little bit. i was humble. i had a humble bone in my body and i was always polite to everybody. that was something that i would get talks about if i didn't say my 'thank you's' and all of that stuff, and i did. i did, but there were some days where i just forgot. i forgot because i was beginning to see that it was pointless. i didn't like to brag, well i didn't brag back then, well not that much. i tried to keep it sweet and kind, i did, but i just .. i don't know, after awhile i just forgot. being humble is something that i used to do a lot, but frankly, i just ... i don't know. humility was not one of my strongest suits when i was a kid."

pride

noun. a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

verb. be especially proud of a particular quality or skill.

"everything that i have done and still yet to do is an accomplishment in itself. there's a lot of things that i take pride in and if i was to sit here and list that we would be here all day. so, to spare you, i will just keep it short and cute. i just graduated from college this year and plan on going back in the fall. i have always prided myself on my intelligence. i'm not just a pretty face with all this money. i'm a young lady who has a future in front of her and i don't think a lot of people see that or notice that because they just see me and my looks. now yes, i'm attractive and yes i know that, but it pisses me off when people just don't see me past my looks. i'm smart. i'm smarter than you may thing. i graduated at the top of my class and was on the dean's list. if that doesn't say something then i honestly don't know what the hell to tell you. what i can say is that once you understand that i am more than my looks, then life would be insanely better for you. i know i can be shallow, but damn, give me my damn credit."

now, if you want to read more, leave a comment and tip me. she's my baby and i love her.

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