My Story

MY STORY BEGINS LIKE MOSTS, I WAS BORN, LOVED, SHOWN OFF, BELIEVED IN, APPRPECIATED, FULL OF POTENTIAL, BUT ALL OF THAT WAS SHORT LIVED. SOON AFTER I REMEMBER MOVING FROM PLACE TO PLACE, FROM VIRINIA, TO JAPAN, TO CALIFORNIA, THEN BACK TO VIRGINIA, THEN I STARTED 3RD GRADE. MY DAD WAS IN THE MILITARY WHICH EXPLAINS WHY WE MOVED SO MUCH, AND ALSO WHY HE WASNT AROUND MUCH WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. MY MOTHER DID HER BEST RAISING 2 BOYS AND A GIRL ON HER OWN FOR THE BETTER PART OF THE 20 YEARS MY DAD SPENT IN NAVY. I REMEMBER THINKING HE'D BE AROUND MORE AFTER HE RETIRED, BUT HE ENDED UP TAKING JOBS THAT WOULD KEEP HIM GONE UNTIL 2,3,OR 4 IN THE MORNING. ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM AS IF HE COULDNT HAVE HAD MUCH OF AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE, HE DID IN FACT TEACH ME SOME VERY VALUABLE LESSONS THAT I STILL KEEP WITH ME TO THIS DAY. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING- MAKE THE BEST OUT OF THE TIME YOU ARE GIVEN, WHETHER IT BE 10 MINUTES OR TEN YEARS, IT'S UP TO YOU. HE MADE WE WERE NOT JUST SOME DUMB BLACK KIDS RUNNING THE STREETS AND GETTING INTO TROUBLE. HE ALWAYS MADE US ARTICULATE, HE WOULD PICK A PAGE IN THE DICTIONARY AND MAKE US READ IT THEN PICK A WORD ON THAT PAGE AND IF WE COULDNT TELL HIM THE DEFINITION, HE'D MAKE US READ IT AGAIN. I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL TO HIM FOR THAT, HOWEVER, LIKE MOST KIDS, WE WEREN'T ALWAYS THE BEST LISTENERS, AND LIKE MOST PARENTS HE DID WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS THE BEST TO DICIPLINE US, AND WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS BEST IN MOST CASES INVOLED PHYSICAL REPROCUTIONS. SOMETIMES HIS HANDS, MAYBE A BELT, BUT MOST TIMES IT WAS WHATEVER WAS WITHING REACH, A FEW TIMES IT WAS A PING PONG PADDLE. MY MOTHER REALLY DIDNT HAVE TO DO MUCH OTHER THAN THREATEN US WITH TELLING OUR FATHER, UNTIL HER AIM GOT BETTER, THEN SHE WOULD JUST THROW THINGS AT US. ONCE I REACHED MIDDLE SCHOOL MY MOTHER BEGAN DOING LESS AND LESS AROUND THE HOUSE AND TREATED MY SIBLINGS AND I MORE LIKE EMPLOYEES RATHER THAN CHILDREN. I KNOW WE SUPPOSED TO DO CHORES AND WHAT NOT, BUT ARENT THE PARENTS SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING, I MEAN LITERALLY ANYTHING? ONCE I GOT A JOB- AT AGE 13- THEY BEGAN ASKING ME FOR MONEY, CONSTANTLY AND IT WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD IF I SAID NO. IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE BROKE BUT MY DAD WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A NEW PAIR OF SHOES AND MY MOM WAS ALWAYS GETTING HER HAIR DONE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A PEOPLE PERSON FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, IVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO SHY AWAY FROM A CONVERSATION, UNLESS IT CAME TO TALKING TO GIRLS. I JUST COULDNT GET ANY OF THEM TO LIKE ME OR WANT ME TO BE THIER BOYFRIEND, THEY ALWAYS SEEMED TO BE INTO MY FREINDS AND NOT ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED I COULD NEVER GET ANY OF THE GIRLS THAT I ACTUALLY WANTED, I WOULD ALWAYS END UP THEIR FRIEND OR BE TOLD THAT IM SUCH A NICE GUY OR GIRLS LIKE A GUY WITH MORE SELF CONFIDENCE. IT WAS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS THAT I REALLY GAVE UP ON BELEIVING IN MYSELF, I STOPPED TRYING TO GET THE GIRLS THAT I THOUGHT WERE ATTRACTIVE AND I BEGAN TO JUST SETTLE FOR WHOEVER GAVE ME ATTENTION, ALSO, JUST TO FIT IN I'D DATE WHATEVER GIRL WAS WILLING JUST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO SAY THAT I WAS ALONE. I WAS NEVER A PRIORITY IN MY OWN LIFE AT THIS POINT, I TOLD MYSELF THAT AS LONG AS I WAS MAKING SOMEONE ELSE HAPPT THEN I WOULD BE HAPPY. I'D DATE A GIRL BECAUSE SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME SHE LIKED ME, DIDNT MATTER THAT IF SHE SAT ON MY LAP YOU COULDNT SEE ME UNDER HER, SHE WAS HAPPY. I PLAYED FOOTBALL TO MAKE MY DAD HAPPY. ID GO SHOPPING WITH MY FRIENDS AND LITERLLY BUY THE SAME EXACT CLOTHES AS THEM BECAUSE I FIGURED IF I LOOKED LIKE THEM THEY'D LIKE ME MORE AND MAYBE THEY'D TREAT ME THE WAY THAT I TREATED THEM, BUT THAT WAS SIMPLY NOT THE CASE, I WAS A PUSH-OVER, I WOULD ALWAYS PUT MYSELF BENEATH OTHERS BECAUSE MY HAPPINESS NEVER SEEMED TO MATTER, AND IT SEEMED LIKE IT NEVER WOULD. I BEGAN GETTING USED TO TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, SO MUCH SO THAT ID STAND UP FOR THOSE WHO WERE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME WHEN SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME THAT THEY ARE TREATING MY LIKE SHIT. I JUST WANTED TO BE THE PERSON THAT SOMEONE ELSE REALLY TRUELY TRIED TO MAKE HAPPY, AND IT NEVER HAPPENED, UNTIL I TURNED 18. ON MY 18TH BIRTHDAY I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A RANDOM GIRL THAT I MET THE DAY BEFORE AT THE ARCADE. MY FRIENDS PARENTS WERE OUT OF TOWN SO I TOOK HER OVER TO HIS PLACE AND FUCKED HER ON HIS MOTHERS BED. 2 DAYS LATER I WAS WALKING HOME FROM A NIGHT OUT WITH A FRIEND OF MINE AND I BEGAN HAVING EXCRUTIATING PAIN IN MY DICK. I DECIDED TO TAKE A LOOK AND I WAS MORTIFIED, IT LOOKED AS IT THE TIP OF MY PENIS HAD BEEN TURNED INSIDE OUT, BUT I STILL HAD TO WALK THE REST OF THE WAY HOME. AS SOON AS I GOT HOME I WRAPPED IT IN TISSUE PAPER AND CONTINUED TO DO SO EVERYDAY FOR MONTHS. I WOULD USE SCOTCH TAPE TO KEEP IT ON. 3 MONTHS LATER ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON AFTER CHURCH WE WENT OUT TO EAT AND I WENT TO THE RESTROOM AND MY FATHER CAME WITH ME. AS WE STOOD NEXT TO EACH OTHER AT THE URINAL HE NOTICED THE WHAT I LATER CALLED MY DICK CAP IN MY HAND AND ASKED ME WHAT IT WAS. I TOLD HIM IT WAS MY PUNISHMENT FROM GOD FOR HAVING PREMARITAL SEX, AND HE WAS PRETTY SURPRISED FOR QUITE A FEW REASONS. IT WAS LATER DETERMINED THAT I HAD BOTH GONEREA AND CLAMYDIA, AFTER THAT I DIDNT HAVE SEX FOR 2 YEARS. THE VERY NEXT GIRL I HAD SEX WITH WAS THE FIRST GIRL I SAID I LOVE YOU TO, SHE CHEATED ON ME THREE DAYS LATER AND THEN SHE GOT HERPES, I HAD ALREADY LEFT HER BY THE TIME SHE GOT HERPES, BUT I STILL DROVE HER TO HER APPOINTMENTS WHEN SHE'D HAVE AN OUTBREAK. THIS OF COURSE TURNED ME OFF TO SEX AND LOVE AT THE SAME TIME. I REMEMBER TELLING MY FATHER I DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, AND HE HIT ME IN THE FACE AND SAID THATS WHAT LOVE IS, AND FROM WHAT I COULD TELL, HE WASNT WRONG, LOVE HURTS, SO I SAID FUCK LOVE, I DONT WANT IT. I BEGAN NEGLECTING MY OWN DESIRE TO FIND IT, I WOULD BOUNCE AROUND FROM JOB TO JOB WHICH LEAD TO ME MOVING IN AND OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE MULTIPLE TIMES, I COULDNT AFFORD A CAR OR MY OWN PLACE, BUT I COULD ALWAYS BUY A 40 OR A CHEAP BOTTLE ADN DRINK IT ON MY PARENTS DRIVEWAY BECAUSE THEY WOULDNT ALLOW ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE. I WOULD DRINK TO FEEL NUMB, ESCAPE FROM THE PAIN OF LONELINESS INSIDE ME. ID NEVER OPEN UP TO ANYONE ABOUT HOW I REALLY FELT, I WOULD JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE BECAUSE ALL ANYONE WANTED TO DO WAS GET FUCKED UP, SO GETTING FUCKED UP BECAME SOMETHING I WAS GOOD AT. OF COURSE THAT LED TO MULTIPLE DRUNK IN PUBLIC ARREST, BUT IT ALSO MADE ME FEEL WANTED. PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS WANT TO HEAR MY STORIES ABOUT HOW MUCH I DRANK OR HOW MY NIGHT IN JAIL WENT, ID NEVER TELL THEM ABOUT THE PISS STAINED MATTRESS THAT ID SLEEP ON BECAUSE ID BE TO DRUNK TO GO TO THE RESTROOM, ID NEVER TELL THEM ABOUT HOW DISSAPPOINTED MY PARENTS WERE BECAUSE THEIR 24 YEAR OLD SON IS STILL LIVING IN THIER HOUSE WITH NO JOB, NO CAR, NO LICENSE, AND NO DESIRE TO BETTER HIMSELF. AT 25 I BEGAN WORKING AT NISSAN, EVERY PERSON THAT TRAINED ME, I TOOK THEIR JOB, I ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS EFFORTLESSLY. AFTER 3 YEARS THERE WAS ONLY 3 PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE COMPANY ABOVE ME, AND ONE OF THEM WAS THE OWNER. IN 2013 I BEGAN DOING STANDUP COMEDY AND WITHOUT THE WORDS I LEARNED FROM MY FATHERS UNOTHEDOX DICIPLINE, AND MY MOTHERS UNWAVERING COMPASSION I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SIT HERE AND SAY THAT THE LITTLE BOY WHO WAS BORN ON OCTOBER 13, 1984 IS LOVED, WORTHY OF BEING SHOWN OFF, BELIEVED IN, APPRECIATED, AND LIVING UP TO HIS POTENTIAL.