My Restful Moment for the New Year

The New Year 2022 is now officially here! I know the new year resolutions have always been like a major chore before another goal.

“It's the new year! We need to reach that goal!

Let’s Go! GO! GO! Do it now!

You need to finish this, right now!

Move! Move! Move!”

And yes, it's frustrating. In our minds, we have those thoughts that if we don't ever accomplish any of our important goals sooner or later, it would be like “it's too late for us”. I’m like others, I’ve constantly been pressured to succeed and even procrastinated in my important, huge goals before I get older if I'm on the right path including my dream career, etc. Those big goals included traveling to new states/cities, getting hired at the character designer studio, acting like an actress, modeling(if I'm pretty and thin enough), making a big novel, making a big art business, etc. But sadly, it didn't work as I thought. No matter what I'm working on or being very busy with other things. It's like I'm still failing, thousands of times.

I like to sleep. Sleeping can be relaxing. It's peaceful. It is always a stress relief. But, it doesn't have to be “a cure.” Self-care is always significant. Resting is also important. It shouldn't be like “stop being lazy” or “you're just selfish”. I never like being lazy. It can be also frustrating to be more productive like our clock is ticking especially when we’re already in our 30s. I tried to get myself a rest as possible. I have been burned out, disconnected, overwhelmed, excluded, exhausted, traumatized, frustrated, drained, and shut down, for almost 2 years so far. Maybe 5-7 years ago. Or even more, since I was very young. The new year is a nerve-racking way no matter what the list of my goals is. Unfortunately, I always declined and neglected them because of my sensitivity, rejections, stress, perfectionism issues, and desperation to be heard or to be seen. It's like a major roller coaster that keeps rising and down, up and down, from my intense emotions/feelings-highs and lows. The deeper they see, the deeper to the very bottom. I ended up getting as much rest or a nap as I could. I always stayed up very late if I took a very long nap.

Sometimes, I took a nap for at least 2-4 hours. That only depends when my body needs as much recharge as it should be which I didn't notice, especially when I went out for huge errands with my family. I always love to sleep! Sometimes, sleep can be a bit hard for me. That includes my intensive anxiety, deepest depression, crying spill, stressful moments, racing thoughts, trauma, and extreme multitasking. Whenever I am resting, I have to get myself a space. I also wanted to be comforted and snuggled, like my sweet cat, Kiki. Kiki loves napping. She loves to cuddle, especially when I need myself to relax. No matter where she goes, she sleeps on my desk window, inside of my closet, my bed, and the couch. She’s super sassy and spoiled, but I love her very much.

Some scents keep me relaxed and relieved. I love Lavender, Tea Tree, Spearmint, and Eucalyptus. Those scents are like I'm in heaven(especially when I smell and close my eyes) and one of the sensory tools helped my sensory issue from my triggers or burnout.

One of the things that cause me to have burnout is when I can't sleep very well. Sometimes I get nightmares, intrusive thoughts from my anxiety, busy driving, my growling stomach, thunderstorms, loud snores, and feeling sweaty. About loud sounds, I can't listen to loud music or other loud noises. It is disturbing my rest. A quiet place is very helpful for me, especially when I need a spade from a stretched and irritating day. It's the best thing to recharge my body when I need to be energetic later on that day or the next day.

As I said, one of the best things to be mindful, relaxing, and coping with our self-compassion is rest.