My Heart

There are so many facets of my life where someone has been a guide, a mentor or an inspiration. However, there has been one person who had been close to me, even at a distance, who “got me” right to the heart. A mother’s love is the mainstay in a girl’s life to be that guide to womanhood. Yet an individual who endured the uphill challenges and still be a successful template for greatness to me, was far beyond any inspiration I’ve had.

As a child, I always saw my mother was a creative and intelligent go getter who seemed so comfortable in her own skin. One of the first in the family to go to college, buy her own home and then start a business, I always felt I had strong foundation I needed. I followed in her footsteps and became an engineer and fought hard to live up to the seeming standard our family instilled in us.

In 1999, that all seemed to change for me. I got divorced, became a single mom of 1 child and was homeless not once, but twice. I felt like I let my Mom down and even some of my family turned against me. I became depressed at this notion and even purposefully isolated myself away from my family because I felt I didn’t add up to their expectations. The interesting part is that my Mom never verbally said these things.

In 2002, my whole world seemed to just cave in. I got laid off and struggled for months raising my eldest daughter. Then, I got the call that broke my heart completely - my Mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack. I felt that my life would ever be complete again. I was in a fog for months and never really cried...until one special day. I was going through my mother’s things and I came across a pillow case my Mom made for me when I was born and it had my name embroidered on it. See, my mother not only acquired her MBA, but while I was in college for Engineering, she went back to school to fuel her passion for sewing. She in fact graduated Magna Cum Laude. During the time I distanced myself from everyone, she started her own business as a fashion designer and was quite successful up until her death. At the point I came across that pillow case, is the first time I actually cried since she died. Finding that pillow case with my name embroidered made me feel that despite my shortcomings and challenges, I was still worth it and I was born to “Do What I Love”.

Today, I am a single Mom of now 3 children. I am am still an Engineer, but I also have opened my own wedding and event planning business in the memory of my mother. Not only have I fueled my passion, but I’ve encouraged my girls, who I see a piece of my Mom in their soul every day, to always Do What You Love - no matter the circumstance, no matter who turns their back or say that you can’t - you always have that strong foundation that was set by my mom...my inspiration.