Moving to Where the Land Sings

Casey's new life started unexpectedly with the gift of a little black book that unlocked the door to her restrained imagination.

On a mundane Tuesday morning, it nestled in an innocuous cardboard box neatly tied in ribbon, upon her front step. Curious Casey knelt down to inspect the attached card. She swiftly opened it reveal a $100 note and written words penned by an unknown hand.

Others may have been bemused, overjoyed or even offended by a stranger challenging them to take control of their lives. Casey however, burst into overwhelmed tears. Uncontrollable sobs wracked her body. She had nearly given up on living countless times and felt incredibly alone even with her boyfriend and her few supportive friends. Casey was captive of a fog that didn't let anyone, let alone life, in. She had felt transfixed in her circumstances for years with no hope of forward motion.

While Casey was grateful for the roof over her head, their dimly lit studio apartment with the kitchen in their bedroom, gave her no privacy and no space to do her art. The main road where they lived never seemed to get a break. All-in-all it just felt claustrophobic to her soul. With ten years of chronic illness not abating, mental health low and barely getting by week to week.

Casey was tired. So tired.

The town she had moved to that had temporarily felt invigorating, didn't feel like home anymore. Casey was dispirited and sometimes stared at the ocean and wondered what it would be like to wander into the waves and never come back out. She considered spending the $100 on groceries, dully practical ... but what if she could actually dream again?

What would she even want if she let herself want? Was this mysterious M actually serious? What if this was real and she actually let her heart be in charge for the first time in a long time? Did she dare. A pang from unfulfilled hopes twinged in her chest, but then a quote she learned from a Youtuber Casey liked flashed through her head.. "What if it doesn't come true? Ah, but what if it does.." With not much to lose anyway, and a life to gain, she decided to go for it.

To begin to dream again.

Opening up the box she picked up the black notebook, it was soft and felt high-quality and her hands suddenly had an overwhelming itch to draw on its pages. Casey almost dropped the book in astonishment at the strong emotion arising out of the usually monotone numbness and uninspired misery she had been existing in.

That night Casey wrote by lamplight, at first very little.. before it started to pour out of her like a geyser, all her hopes and dreams that she had abandoned. Almost ripping the pages in her haste as she struggled to pen her yearning as fast as it leapt from her fingertips. It was as if her allowance had unleashed a hidden colossal force. By morning she had by miraculously stripped it back to a list of the 7 immediate things she believed would enrich her life.

On day two Casey booked into therapy using the first $100 she had received. She could afford the gap between the therapist's rates and her mental health plan for a few sessions. It felt like a big step. Casey mumbled through her request of taking a photo in front of the clinic. Looking a tad mystified the receptionist still languidly acquiesced.

That afternoon she printed the photo, tucked it into an envelope with a letter detailing how much she would require for the rest of her sessions and the second-hand car they had found. Posting kind of felt like sending a letter to a Santa she no-longer, but desperately wanted to, believe in.

The next four days felt like an emotional tightrope for Casey. Her first therapy session tentatively reopened the discussion of how to live with a chronic illness the doctors still hadn't diagnosed and were therefore unable to treat. They focused on a plan to increase her mental and emotional health to allow a life with the most grace possible. Equipped of a few more tools, she felt vindicated of her hesitancy.

The biggest niggle, that Casey couldn't yet shake, was feeling like she would be wrenched back to her harsh reality any moment and have to face this was all a fever dream.

Monday she received the second envelope. Her thumping heart and the cold air that burnt her lungs told her this was real.

M had kept their word! A check was enclosed, of the exact amount she had asked for. She couldn't quite grasp that this was happening to her. Now Casey and her partner could drive to Tasmania, and explore it as well. Her eyes leaked tears without her control. It was the little big things that this opened up beside moving, like her boyfriend now being able to drive her to the shops or the beach on the days she couldn't walk so she wasn't always stuck inside.

The next two things on Casey's list were the biggest for her to act on, and by far the most heart pounding. A day of running in mental circles, hyperventilating and clutching M's envelope in her shaky hands finally turned into steadfast resolve. The strength at which surprised her. Casey's heart was in control now, she had finally chosen to live. And she was determined to be happy.

Once the decision was made everything flowed quickly. Within a few weeks they had been approved for their dream house, packed up their life and said a cathartic goodbye to their family and friends. Casey may have ugly cried and laughed in relief at the same time as they set off on their new adventure. Her box of precious envelopes on the dash.

Picking up her piano, on the way, that she hadn't been able to play for two years due to lack of space felt like the start of a wondrous reclamation of the pieces of herself.

Turning the key to their front door, opened up a whole new reality for Casey. She had never rented her own home before. And the simple act of deciding what got put into it and where, felt like a revelation. The first room she giddily established was her art room. Casey and her therapist had decided it was the greatest boon for her mental health. Art for her was never a luxury, it was a necessity.

The rest of the house, bright and surrounded by nature, steadily filled up with all the things they loved, to create a home. Their home. A home that was soon graced with the presence of a stunning white fur-baby that quickly took charge of their hearts and the house itself. Casey wouldn't have it any other way even if sometimes she got stiff limbs from contorting around said feline and the random cat hairs she found in her paintings. The purrs and the love more than made up for it. She could honestly say she was beginning to recognise what happiness felt like again.

Now Casey had settled into her new home she started a rotating rhythm of art, cuddles by their fireplace, picnics in their backyard when the sun came out, trying fresh produce, exploring local artisan shops, continued therapy over zoom and seeing specialists for further testing. Casey loved life in Tasmania, and more importantly she was learning to love who she was becoming.

What Casey thought to be the last ever letter she would received from M, she made sure to savor and unfurl with reverence. M had both renewed her faith in good people and shown her the potential goodness of life itself. Even though Casey theoretically knew M must be a person somewhere that had decided to do a generous deed, sometimes in her head she imagined M to be the essence of Magic or the extended hand of Universe itself. They seemed to have known exactly the moment to appear in her life before she had wholly given up. It was a foreign feeling, faith. And one she was glad to acquire. Faith in possibilities was now a part of her foundations. Her new outlook gifted her a willingness to try.

Check in hand, it was her turn to pay it forward. It went to protecting and supporting the miraculous white bison that had reappeared in America after being extinct.

There was something in the air. The land spoke to her, enchanted her, inspired her. She felt nourished, she felt at home. The land sung to her like she had never felt before.

Perhaps it was the magic of a small island encapsulating ocean shores, lakes, waterfalls, mountains, cliff-faces, sunlit fields and snow all in one place. Her partner she was rediscovering joy with, her gorgeous cat, the new people she had met and friendships she had made. With her new found courage she asked the local Gallery if they would sell some of her paintings and to her delight they had said yes.

One day in her new home she decided to take the letters all out from that first brown box, where she kept them on her dresser. To add up all she had received. The mysterious M had gifted her $20,000. Casey was in awe at how her life had completely transformed. How she had transformed.

M had given her so much more than money, they had helped bring her back to herself. Casey had her whole new life ahead of her to be enjoyed. And she was ready to embrace it.

M smiled as he signed the letter to Casey for the last time, looking around at his cosy 2 bedroom house, filled with piles of good books, comfy lounges and a board covered in photographs. They were his life's greatest treasures.

He had worked all of his life, amassing great wealth on retirement. A successful life by others measure, yet one that felt personally unfulfilling and.. meaningless. Being old, most of his few friends had passed, and he didn't have a family to spoil due to his prickly countenance that had rebuffed anyone interested in a more personal connection. M had always been on the cusp of taking brave action, yet had hesitated for 80 years. He had no legacy to leave after he was gone. Had never uplifted people's lives in some profound way. M had waffled at the how, until the idea had struck. If not his.. then why not support others dreams. He truly meant what he wrote to Casey, her belief in herself, which he had just bolstered a little, was the true magic..

Courage was a boulder that once tipped over the edge kept gaining momentum.

He had just nudged the boulder a little, loosened its foundations, she had chosen to jump all by herself. Not very many people had. He had sent 20 boxes. Only two people had jumped. Dare to have a go. Boy how their adventures had brought him so much happiness. Their courage had inspired him. So many people even being hand-held didn't dare.

He could leave happy now, knowing he had helped those two jump into a life for themselves. It brought a grin to his wrinkly face even thinking of it and warmth to his heart he was still surprised by. M guessed he had time to fulfill his dream after all. A little bit of legacy that would go forth and live after him.