MindoverMatter

Mind over matter is such an interesting phrase because not only does it reflect our current societal standards of how one is expected to achieve success, it also is usually used in the context of how one solves a problem they are experiencing. Oxford Dictionary defines the phrase as "the use of willpower to overcome physical problems." So what the fuck is will power and where do I get it? I have a lot of physical problems including my mind, so how does one use will power to overcome their own mind? Apparently the mind and willpower are one in the same according to Oxford dictionary as well as the general population that says things like "the poor are lazy."

When I get stuck in a warp pool of anxiety first my body starts reacting. I feel my heart slowly start to beat faster and faster and my stomach starts to feel like I have a bad case of the butterflies but more like the ones you get when you're on a plane and the captain puts on the seat belt sign and there is turbulence. My mind slowly starts to creep in and start to cut down any positive and "will power" like energy I have. My mind begins to tell me things like "you made a minor mistake, so you need to quit your job...everyone is going to think you're incompetent...find a new job and try to avoid the worthlessness you feel when you haven't done something perfectly.

This expectation of myself...fuck it sucks...It's ok if other people make mistakes just not you...

Why does my self worth have to be connected to my ability? Society. We tell people, ah its just "mind over matter" right? And if you can't do that, then you're some how incapable, helpless and inadequate. I can put my mind over certain matters, I graduated with my Master's of Social Work almost 2 years ago and despite how many times I had to put my mind over matters during my education, I still struggle with doing this in practice, in my day to day and in my relationships.

I want to be perfect. I want to be the perfect employee, daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother...and its so much pressure for what? To make sure that people will love me? To make sure that my self worth is intact? To ensure that I will not be a failure? It's hard to except that I am not perfect and that I will have to accept myself for who I am.

I am writing this because I know that I am not the only who feels this way...its hard to overcome "matters" in life especially when they are things like domestic violence, addiction or sexual abuse. The scars that they leave behind impairs the mind and alters your sense of who you are in the world.

Mind over matter is also described as "unleashing the infinite power of the mind to challenge realities and overcome limitations" by Psychologenie.com. I don't have any answers on how you magically gain will power, but what I can say is that we are powerful and even more powerful because we can learn and grow. It quiets my mind when I remember that nobody's perfect on this planet, and that it's better to live life without fear.

So I will leave you with this; stay fearless everyone.