Love You

If I told you that you are a Goddess, how hard would you roll your eyes at me? Some of you are like, “Heck ya, I’m a Goddess!” Yes girl, great! Now, how about those of you who are like "No way, not me, have you seen this hair?" How many of you avoid the mirror when you pass by it, or get ready for the day at record breaking speed because you don’t think you are worthy of the effort? What if I told you that your way of thinking is wrong, and even destructive? Regardless of the description society puts on you, you’re beautiful, and you deserve to give yourself the love you continuously dish out to others.

I don’t expect you to flip a switch and just one day be 1000% happy in your own skin. It took me piles of self help books, an extensive amount of shadow work, a huge amount of discipline, a pending divorce, and 30+ years of hard learned lessons for me to not care what other people thought of me. It took an extremely long time for me to finally believe that not only did I deserve self-love, but that it was extremely important.

Why It’s Important?

Self – If you could think of the one person in the world who has been there for you for literally everything, who comes to mind? Is it your parents? Your friends? Your kids? Your siblings? I need you to think hard on this. It’s you! Sure, we have maybe a handful of people we can call when we are stuck in a rut, but there is one person who has moved you beyond every single hardship, stood with you through your achievements, and has witnessed every great milestone; that person is you.

You are the one who sit's with yourself in the dark, you get yourself out of bed every morning when the alarm goes off, you push yourself past your limits, and you create your own motivation to go after your goals. So, if anyone deserves a big chunk of that love you hold inside, it’s yourself. You deserve it before anyone else.

You stop caring about what other people think of you. You stop seeking validation from others because you are giving it to yourself. You understand that other peoples opinions say way more about them then they do about you. It’s fine if they don’t love you, because you love you.

Others – When you love yourself, you begin to treat yourself like your own best friend. You establish healthy boundaries that allow you to have healthy, meaningful relationships. You stop taking scraps because you fully understand what you deserve. You refuse to settle – You take your time getting to know people instead of jumping in and out of relationships. You don’t need distractions because you are comfortable in your own company.

You rely heavily on yourself causing you to be interdependent in relationships instead of co-dependent. You trust that you can take care of yourself, and your friends and family do not feel like they need to come to your rescue.

You’re so confident! I can’t even tell you what building my own furniture does to my ego. Loving yourself strengthens your independence. The journey begins with accepting yourself just a little more, and that love you hold for yourself grows into such a wild adventure.

You stop judging others because you recognize, and are working through, your own insecurities. Those days of Mean Girl Regina are over. Those who constantly find flaws in others are just people who can’t face their own. So, they project on to other people. When you fall in love with your own flaws, you barely notice the flaws of others. You also understand that because you are wonderfully imperfect, so is everyone else.

How To Do It?

Practice, patience, and letting go of that little thing called guilt.

Practice loving your inner critique. When the negative thoughts begin to flow, just say “I hear what your saying, I respect your opinion, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. I love you.” Practice self love to these negative thoughts. Hold space for them and acknowledge them. Every time you catch yourself in a negative mindset, take time to explore why you are thinking that way. What could be causing those feelings? Is there something deeper that you need to work through?

Be patient with yourself. We are not all love and light creatures. We tend to be emotional. The first step is to just note when we are feeling less worthy. It’s ok to explore it, but don’t let yourself stay in it. Do things that make you feel good about yourself; work out, go for a walk, dive into some creative work. What ever you do that helps build your confidence. Do more of that.

Let go of the guilt. If you own your path to self love, and you’re eating healthy, exercising, and indulging in things that make you feel good on the inside and outside, it boosts your self esteem. The opposite happens when you break those healthy habits by eating a donut or two, or sleeping in and missing a workout. It happens. Love is hard, even with yourself. Thank yourself for treating yourself, and continue to move forward.

The self-love journey can be difficult, and can be very long. It can take years before you can finally smile at the person you see in the mirror. Like any kind of love, it takes work. Unlike some relationships, you can’t exactly quit on yourself. You’re stuck with you; so, don’t give up on yourself. If anyone deserves for you to put in the work, it’s yourself.

And no surprise, the self-love journey is never ending. If you stick with it, you will forever unlock the most beautiful parts of yourself that you didn’t know could exist. Just think of all the places you could go, and all the things you could do, with all of that magical potential. Go get it, Goddess!