Kill Your Inner Critic

The best New Year's Resolution any of us can make is to kill our inner critic. We hold ourselves back and sabotage our best intentions when we allow our thoughts to constantly criticize and belittle us. When I first heard about this idea, I thought to myself, "I don't do that!" Then, I started paying attention to my thoughts. WOW! That was an eye opener! I couldn't believe how awful I was to myself.

I decided to kill my inner critic. However, that nasty little imp was much harder to subdue than I expected. I had to use many different tactics to get her to sit down and shut up! In this article, I will share what I discovered through years of trial and error.

Here are five ways I quiet my inner critic:

1. Slow down.

You stress yourself out and miss the joy in life when you rush around trying to get an unrealistic number of tasks done. Ironically, you also waste a lot of time. You'll make fewer mistakes when you take the time to mindfully complete your task; no more wasting time fixing what you screwed up because you were trying to go too fast. Another benefit of being mindful while working is that your inner bully can't get a word in edgewise because your thoughts are focused on the task at hand, instead of moving ahead to the next five things on your to do list.

2. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Embrace whatever flaw you find your inner critic pointing out. For instance, if you step on your scale and see that you're still 10 lbs (or 50 lbs) overweight and you think to yourself, "I'll never lose this weight!" try replying, "What if I don't? There are plenty of happy, successful, overweight people on this planet." I have found this technique to have an ironic effect. I can focus on changing myself for the better, faster when I let go of berating myself for having flaws. You have flaws. That's because you're alive. So, celebrate! Find the most important change you need to make and focus on that by cheering yourself on rather than distracting yourself with all your other flaws. Then, you'll see that one by one they disappear.

3. Appreciate your talents.

Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Use it whenever you hear your inner critic telling you you're not good enough. If you find this hard to do, try asking friends and loved ones what they like about you. Many of us have been taught to be humble but we took that humility too far. We find ourselves denying compliments and feeling ashamed anytime we acknowledge that we did a good job. That's ridiculous! Be proud of yourself. And, bonus, you will become less judgmental of others when you let go of being so judgmental of yourself. Win - Win!

4. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Have you ever worked for someone or had a teacher or friend who just expected too much? Maybe, they didn't understand what they were asking of you or maybe they were just too selfish to care.

When this happens to me, I feel like all my efforts aren't good enough. This person doesn't appreciate how much I'm already doing.

But what if the person asking is you? Every day, you demand so much from yourself. It’s okay to push your limits so you can stretch and grow, but don't forget to appreciate how far you’ve already come. Acknowledge your progress so you will be motivated to keep pushing forward.

5. Have compassion for your inner critic.

The next time you hear your inner critic squawking, take a minute to feel compassion for that part of yourself. Somewhere along your path in life you learned to listen to the lies your inner critic is telling you now. Your thoughts are parroting what you've heard others say, either directly to you or indirectly through their bad example. Have compassion for how these false beliefs have shaped you and, at the same time, feel hope and joy for the new beliefs you are adopting now.

Others are watching your example. Love yourself, even that pesky inner critic, and others will follow suit. When we learn to love ourselves right now, flaws and all, we will automatically love others now, no matter where they are on their life journey. Love will spread like wild fire. I'm confident that whatever disagreements we may have, we all agree that this world can use all the love we can give!

Thank you for reading this.