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Stress Is Optional

No, really... IT IS!

By Becca WillsonPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Thank you, Clem Onojeghuo and Upsplash.com, for this amazing photo.

If anyone had told me two years ago that "stress is optional," I would have rolled my eyes and then asked them what they're selling. But here's the truth of it—where you can't control your initial emotional response to stress, you can control the thoughts and decisions you make in response. When I first began practicing the techniques I will share here, it was very difficult to change the automatic responses I had wired my brain to make. However, I put the practice to the test every day and every time I remembered to. It wasn't long before I rewired my brain so that my automatic response to stress was to remain calm and think things through.

Now for the good stuff; This is how I rewired my brain to give up stress:

  1. Mindfulness—As soon as stress presented itself and I noticed I was feeling upset, I would stop for just a second and check in with at least two of my five senses. What can I see, feel, hear, smell, and even taste? This helped to calm me and stop the old automatic responses to kick in. At first, I was only able to do this after my automatic response had erupted. Many times, I would not remember to do this at all and it wasn't until much later in the day that I realized I hadn't used my mindfulness technique to calm down. However, the more I did this, the easier it became to remember mindfulness when I needed it. I think of this technique as hitting my reset button. I ADORE mindfulness. It is Absolute Magic!
  2. Radical Acceptance—If I found myself running late for work, I would calmly acknowledge that I would be late; the time to worry about being late is before I leave the house. My fate is sealed once I step outside.

Rushing to work will not improve my situation. Promising myself that this is the last time I do this will not help either. Cussing myself out mentally for this being the third time this week makes the situation worse. So I would just accept it. I was going to be late and whatever happened as a result would happen, whether I stressed or not. I knew that if I chose to stress, I would make my life even more stressful. Accepting my reality helped me choose the no stress option every time!

*Note—I would continue to use mindfulness even while driving (done correctly, mindfulness will make you an excellent driver. Mindfulness is simply being present in your moment. It helps you step out of your head and focus on what you're doing right now. Please, do not confuse mindfulness with meditation, which can be deadly if used while operating heavy machinery... but I know you already knew that... wink, wink). I would notice the number of cars around me and what color they were and how close they were to me and the other cars. I would watch my speed and keep my eye out for speed limit signs. Doing this caused me to move into the logic center of my brain and took me out of my emotional side.

3. Finally, I gave up ruminating over past regrets and fretting over future predictions. One day, a light bulb went on. I realized that feeling guilty over past mistakes or resentful because of others who had mistreated me was absolute poison to my heart. I had to let go. I did this, again, using mindfulness to move me away from my emotional mind when I was in situations (like at work) where I didn't have time for deeper thought. Then, later when I did have time to think a bit more, I used radical acceptance to decide what I could do about past hurts. I did what I could and I let the rest go. I used mindfulness A LOT to help me stop the negative tapes from playing over and over.

I did this with my worry, also. Predicting all the bad stuff that could happen was making me miserable because I was essentially living in a nightmare of my own creation. So, I used the above technique exactly the same way; mindfulness for times I needed my attention else where and radical acceptance to make a plan of reasonable action.

As I write this article, I am thinking of so much more I could share about giving up stress. I'm seriously considering writing a book called Stress is Optional. Let me know if you think I should!

Thank you for reading this! I appreciate all the support my readers give me! You guys rock!

happiness
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About the Creator

Becca Willson

I am a writer and mindfulness meditation teacher trying to forge a new path in life as I learn to love, grow and share all I know along the way!

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