It’s Perfectly Fine Not to Have Big Goals This Year

This Year, Can I Stop and Smell the Roses?

It’s been days that I'm racking up my mind on what goal to set and race to finish this year. I have been prepping to give the 12 week year a try and ambitiously envisioned to achieve a year’s goal in 3 months. That would give me four goals done instead of one.

I used my vacation to consume a lot of goal setting and productivity stories here on Medium. I wanted to find another tactic to get me to wherever I want. But at 12:01, January 1, 2021, no goals have been set. I finally decided not to have one.

My Past 20 Years Summarized

I realized that 20 years have passed since I endeavored to reach the top. One step at a time. I made it from station to station, not taking time to rest before moving on to the higher ground. Those 20 years of climbing transformed me from nothing to something.

Year 1: I’m practically no one. Fresh from the university. Struggling to get a job. Zero. Broken.

Year 2: Nothing to share. Life passed by totally ignoring me.

Year 3: I got pregnant and married without a plan. It compounded the situation of not having a stable job. I [we] did odd jobs to survive having the baby in mind.

Year 4: A stranger saw my potential. He trusted me and endorsed me to an entry-level but permanent job. It was the break that I long waited for. In the same year, I dreamed of the impossible. I set myself to hike the mountain of life.

Years 5–10: I worked on myself while working on my job. I had another son. I went to law school and strived to juggle it along with work and motherhood. It paid off. I rose from the ranks, 2 steps up. At this point, life started to be kind and comfortable.

Year 12 – I graduated from law school. I rose to another level. Pretty good. The climb was fast. I was the youngest in the organization in that managerial and supervisory position.

Year 13: A breakthrough in my love life. My husband married me again on our 10th. He gave me the wedding that I deserve. This was also the year that I studied for 6 months for the bar examinations to be a lawyer.

Year 14: A momentous year. The year that I became a lawyer.

Years 15–17 – Years of getting acclimatized with my new role as lawyer and supervisor at work. These things are new. I have to learn as much as I can. Revise and upgrade things including how I talk, think, and dress.

I’m supposed to have a daughter in year 16. But she was taken from us even before she took a decent geometrical form. This event smashed my heart into pieces.

Year 18: The years of non-stop climbing has taken a toll on my mental health. Goal setting in all areas of my life seems to get out of control. Some factors to get a goal can't be in my control and cant be substituted by any contingency measure.

I was left hanging several feet from the next peak that I was trying to climb. It's raining. It's pouring. It's slippery. I try to climb further but one step up will send me two steps down. If not for my family’s support, I may have slipped far down and damaged myself.

I had another miscarriage. My promotion was not considered. For both, I know I am more than qualified. I did my part. I don't know where I did wrong. I went into depression.

Year 19: My depression continued. I planned to just drop off everything. It's not worth the climb anymore. I considered getting into another mountain. It will be a new place, a new challenge, but a new area to grow. Unlike my current mountain which became so familiar but more difficult to climb.

As I am preparing for my descent, the rain stopped. The sun shone again. The surroundings got better. The sky painted a better view and the birds came chirping for me too.

I looked back and saw the long trail that I have been through. I can't believe what I saw. I can't believe what I accomplished.

I decided to just finish climbing to my next peak since it was several feet away. No more muddy roads to stop me. And I got there in just a few more steps. It wasn’t me who’s to blame for all. It’s also the rain. Sometimes it pours so hard blurring our vision and making us slow down or stop.

Year 20: It was in January 2020 when I got my ultimate goal. I got what I deserved.

The pandemic came and its effects even favored me. The lockdowns gave me ample time to rest, think, and reflect. I finally recovered from my depression. Wounds from 20 years of climbing up finally healed.

Family, career, finances, friends, and environment. I have it all. Enough to be able to share. What more can I ask for?

Can I just stop, breathe the air on top, and savor the view?

Can I first assimilate the lessons of 20 years? Can I stand still and offer help to those trying to climb like I am before?

Can I get acquainted with the new me who has been transformed through the years?

I answered, YES to all of my questions. So no big goals for this year. I will let life flow and go. Who knows it will bring me to places I haven’t heard of?

For how long will I stay and enjoy the place I am standing on? I don’t know. Time will answer. Circumstances will give me clues.

For now, no plans for another ascent. It's ok to stop and finally smell the roses.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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This story was originally published on Medium.com.