Increase In Self-Love: 21 Things You Can Remember And Do Today

To remember:

- Start seeing mistakes as what they are, not what you are. Your mistakes do not define you, and your mistakes are NOT you. They're just your mistakes. External from your identity. We all make mistakes.

- Don't be too hard on yourself — it's okay when things fall apart. They're bound to at times. We can't possibly be 100% all the time. We're humans. Not robots. We're not meant to be perfect. Give yourself some space to take in everything. Don't scold yourself. It's okay when things go wrong. You can always fix this. Breathe. Let out your emotions. Focus on the solution later.

- Let yourself feel what you feel. Do not invalidate or dismiss it. It's okay to feel what you did over that matter (even if it's small). Look inwards to find out why you felt what you felt, and understand your patterns and tendencies to act the way you do. Learn from it and learn how to improve that behavior or possibly deal with the situation better if it comes up again.

- Your self-worth isn't determined by your goals and achievements. Neither is it defined by your mistakes. We're all humans. We're worth no more or less than the next person, even if they have achieved great things.

- You're allowed to make mistakes (it proves that you're trying).

- Forgive yourself for your mistakes. It happens. Learn from it and move on.

- Sometimes self-love looks like setting time aside and giving yourself time to do whatever you feel like, all obligations aside.

- Giving yourself rest and time to yourself. Me time is important.

Todos:

- Dress up if/when you feel like it. Wear things that make you feel good. Ignore what others think. Those clothes you're wearing are on you, not them. Wearing what you like boosts your mood too.

- It does not always look like bubble baths and a movie night if that's not what you're feeling. You decide what it looks like for you.

- It can look like sticking to the plans and commitments you've made for yourself. For example, I promised myself that I will get my workout done thrice every week. Even on days I did not feel like it, I actively choose to keep my promise and commit to myself. This also helps to build trust within yourself, as your brain slowly learns that you will not betray the promise you made for yourself. This is satisfying as well, knowing that you are putting in the effort to attain what you want for you, not others. It can be applied to any plans that you have. We tend to sacrifice our own plans for us, rather than others. It’s time to do it differently. Self-love is not selfish.

- Reward yourself for both small AND big wins. I promised that I will reward myself with __ after I am done with this semester/I stick to my new habit for..let's say, 1-2 full months.

- Be okay with the decisions you've made. Don't need to seek external validation from others; if that's what you think it's right for you. Trust that you can make your own decision and that the decision you make will be okay. If not, you'll learn what NOT to do, which is beneficial as well. Learn to trust that you can make decisions for YOU, and will get through those decisions.

- Talk to yourself like you would to your own friend — things like you're not good enough, would you tell that to your friend? No? Don't say that yourself. You deserve better. Words do matter. They may be familiar to you but that does not mean you have to keep them. Self-talk matters.

- Don't compare yourself to others to see what you lack, but rather what else you want to improve on, or what you already have — the difference between healthy and unhealthy comparison. Remember that people show the most glamourous sides of them, and hardly the other way round. Do not compare your inner world with their outer world.

- Surround yourself with people who make you better, who support you and lift you up.

- Get rid of toxic people. If you feel drained by them, they're likely toxic. Get rid of those who do not help you the way you help them and are taking advantage of you. You deserve so much better. Nothing but supportive and loving people towards yourself. Having and accepting no toxicity in your life can help with your mental health so much. I cannot emphasize this enough.

- Accept failure and doubts, but try anyway. Applaud yourself for trying despite these fears once you're done. Be proud of yourself. Like you would to a child.

- Be proud of yourself for getting this far. In life, and literally everything else. You've come so far.

- Do what you love doing, hobbies, and what makes you happy. These help you relax amidst the busy life and help with your mental health.

- Self-care is whatever feels good for you. There is no formula that works for everybody.

I'm no therapist, but it does take time and practice to slowly incorporate things and relearn certain things. These are just 20 things that I could think of. Do take your time and I hope this helps. Let's work on this together :)