I Took My Own Advice and It Changed My Life

I pride myself on giving my friends good, wholesome advice. I genuinely try to give the best, most logical advice and never take sides, and I even acknowledge my bias when presenting my thoughts and opinions to them, which is why they often come to me. I really appreciate their honesty and they appreciate mine. They’re not offended when I call them out for being on their phone too much, hurting their friends' feelings or not really having a reason to be upset at their significant other. I can even get them to calm down when they’re mad, put themselves in other people’s shoes or just let things go. I’m not saying all of this to gloat, simply to point out that there’s a problem here.

I can’t seem to take my own advice.

Whether it’s for being upset at something or confronting something I found unfair, just general things in life, I would let get to me. Of course, some things are not worth discussing or dwelling on but when certain issues arose, I found myself doing exactly the opposite of what I would advise someone to do.

Here’s an example.

I work at a restaurant and every week, my schedule changes. I enjoy not having a regular schedule, some evening some morning shifts, sometimes slow, sometimes busy. Variety is the spice of life, right?

Well, since I started at this restaurant, I’ve never worked a Saturday night shift as a server. That’s where the money is. That’s when you’re making $30+ an hour. I worked 5/7 morning shifts and some nights here and there. I have NEVER been scheduled to work a Saturday night. I figured I’m the newest employee, I gotta take one for the team, I know how this works. I never complained. I never even mentioned my dislike for it. I just let it go. I know when it gets busy I’ll make money like everyone else. I let the universe/karma do its thing.

I come in one day and check the following week’s schedule. I’m scheduled on Saturday night… as a phone clerk. I’m supposed to answer phones… make $10 an hour…. Needless to say, I was livid!

I’m going to spare you the details of how I felt and what my manager’s excuse was for such bullshit but nevertheless, I was devastated, betrayed, and pissed off.

Here’s another aspect to this: I don’t like confrontation. I can confront my friends, husband, family, etc., but when it comes to professional relationships or even sending back for at a restaurant, I panic and don’t say anything. I just tolerate whatever happened and internalize it. That’s what I was doing here.

After listening to my manager’s bullshit, I called my mom and vented. She wasn’t really up for listening to me and did the whole “no reason to be upset. He’s an ass but let it go” speech. So I stopped talking to her. Then, I gave myself a pep talk.

I thought what would I say to my friend if she told me this about her job. I would tell her “Screw your manager. Tell him you’re not doing jack shit! You got hired to serve. So you can serve. If not, you can stay home and enjoy a day off.” So why couldn’t I tell my manager that?

So that’s exactly what I did.

I marched up to him and said, “Since I’m gonna be helping you since you’re short staffed, who else will be helping you?” He said just me. And I said, “How long will this help last?”

He said until he finds a phone clerk. I said that’s absolutely not fair, I came here to serve, I was hired as a server. I am willing to help but not jeopardize my regular earnings. This motherfucker insulted me by saying that I didn’t regularly work Saturday nights so this was going to be extra money for me. I reminded him that he’s the one who made the schedule and I was clearly available to work Saturday nights and if I’m going to be here I’d like to make money. I also don’t want my eagerness to help to be taken advantage of.

I walked away, really proud of myself. This was the first time I stood up to unfairness at work.

The result?

The universe/karma did its thing. A server called off for Saturday so I got to work that night, serve, and make a shit ton of money.

My manager hired a phone clerk immediately so I didn’t have to work for minimum wage. The management team saw that they could not take advantage of me and felt salty as fuck when I stopped doing extra shit.

Moral of the story: Take your own advice! Don’t be the person giving your friends the best advice, wanting the best for them and not yourself. Do what’s right. It’ll work itself out. And if it doesn’t? At least you followed your gut!