I’m Invalid

My feelings don’t matter. Why do I feel this way? Others have it so much harder. So much more pain in life. What right do I have to feel bad over mine? I feel like a terrible person. I shouldn’t annoy others with my feelings. Why can’t I just get over it?

There are many people at many times who feel this way. This guilt for being upset or unhappy about something that they view as insignificant compared to problems of the world. Feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, self-loathing and fatigue all swirl around inside. Feeling like your own feelings are invalid, unnecessary. You don’t deserve to feel these things because they’re nonsensical issues, right?

Wrong. We all share grief, loneliness, anger and pain through life. From a stubbed toe to the death of a loved one to not making this months rent on time. The feelings we get from these are normal and OKAY. It is okay to feel. It is okay to share these feelings. We all deserve to feel and express our hardships. It’s true some people may not want to hear or some people don’t care. However, there are people who care. Who do want to listen; who understand you and what you’re going through.

Every person on this planet has the right to feel and express. Many times we brush them aside and shrug it off, while really we’re just pushing it inside. Deep down until the moment you can’t keep that dark and bitter door closed. We all have a chest, doors, a boulder, a deep, dark, never-ending hole that our feelings get thrown into if they’re deemed “unworthy” or “unnecessary.”

Now here's a question; where do these thoughts come from?

For what reason do we deny our thoughts and feelings?

There are many reasons they could be. You live in a large and somewhat troubled family. They rely on you to take care of them. You can’t show any weakness or everyone else could break down. You could be told everyday about someone else’s grievances and never get the chance to talk about yours. The people you try to share with deny and reproach your for feeling what you do. Someone tells you everyday you’re unworthy and you’ve had it easy in life compared to others.

So many ways to lead you to shutting yourself down. But it’s okay. The first step is realizing WHY you feel this way. It’s okay to take awhile to look into yourself and those around you. What do you get or feel from them? How does that affect you? How do you actually feel about said people? Why do you let them affect you? After thinking about the why’s and how’s, next comes the When.

When will you let everything go? The negative people, the negative emotions. Let it all out, share it. Tell just one person all the emotions you’ve been holding in. Release them into this world, and watch as you stand straighter that day. Feel light as a feather, and watch those words you have been so afraid and so bitter to share, dissipate into the air, cleansed by freedom.

It takes time to change anything in life. Give yourself time to think, to grieve, to release, to love and be loved. You’re not invalid, you’re feelings are not unnecessary and annoying. They are as much a part of you as your smile And heart is. Don’t hold onto the physical and mental pain and anger. All it takes is one step, one thought forward. Let it be free, and you will someday follow.