I don’t like change

I’ve never been the biggest fan of change, as a kid I didn’t want to grow up, it was so much fun to play around with my friends and I had become accustomed to that and would have traded everything else just for things to stay the same. Eventually I had to grow up and adapt to new circumstances, they weren’t any better but I just went with it all, it wasn’t like I had a choice, again and again my life has had to change so much. The biggest changes which have really dealt with me emotionally were to watch people leave, either to die or simply just to move to another town, they don’t just leave but they also take with them emotions, attachments and memories. It feels destabilizing to be robbed of all these in an instant and leaves you wandering for a while trying to figure out what could possibly replace what you’ve lost.

Changes may be of different sort, either the good or the bad but I really don’t care for any of them, sure I’ll prefer change for the good but really it just amounts to the same. As humans, we crave stability, we want things to be constant because that represents control in our mind, having the same persons in our lives, being at the same place and doing the same things which bring us fun. When any of these change then it really leaves us at a loss wanting to bring things back to normal, which isn’t bad per se but might tamper with our growth. There might be good things coming to you which you are preventing by letting things stay the same, likewise by keeping things constant, you prevent bad things from happening to you. Of course the safer route is to keep things the same, you don’t want to risk your future trying to change things for the better, even though some people do.

Watching People leave

Not just others leaving but you might have to leave as well, I’ve got that experience multiple times. When I had to move to another city for my work, I was so scared, not just for the unknown city but also for all the people I was leaving behind, it felt like we were getting disconnected and I had to start a new life. I was no longer going to see the familiar faces, streets and routines, I was going to discover some new things and build new habits. The initial period was difficult but eventually I adapted to the new environment and had to make a way to be happy in it. Lost touch with most of the people I left, but eventually discovered new and awesome persons with whom I built bonds and felt comfortable around. It took some time to build up those emotions and get attached again but in the end it was a wonderful experience, to get to know new persons and discover new places even though it isn’t something I look forward to but it was worth trying at least a couple of times. That's the thing with change, it's not like it gives you a choice, you are just thrown into it without any possibility of turning back, then you have to find your balance and become comfortable again.

Situation Changes

Right now your life is probably going predictably but it just takes a wrong turn or a different decision to make things go totally left, either for the good but more probably for the worst. I’ve watched people’s lives turn around just from a casual decision, maybe they wanted to stay out late to catch some more fun or they just wanted to earn more money and in an instant they found themselves in the worst possible position. It's for reasons like these that we strive to keep things constant, the unknown is even more scary than danger. It's not like they deliberately chose for things to change and their decisions weren’t absurd or abnormal from any stretch, they made the same decisions that everybody else would make but for them, it led to life changing consequences, some might call it fate or karma but really it's just life and the tricks it plays on us. There is no pattern to it, you can’t tell which decision of yours is going to lead to this outcome, you can’t predict change but you definitely can plan for it.

What if things never changed

Like everything else, it's all about balance, you’ll definitely not want things to stay exactly the same either because you are sure of being bored out of your mind by the monotony. I think what I truly want is a controlled change, something I can plan for and slowly transition into, which gives me enough time for me to adapt and get comfortable in, not the midnight calls telling me about the passing of someone I held dearly. It takes years for us to build this stability, to build these long-standing bonds and find the right set of people with whom we feel comfortable with, for all of that to be taken away in an instant is really painful. I really want things to stay the same for as long as it is possible, until I feel like changing things and not to let life destroy everything I’ve work so hard to craft. Finding balance whether it be in our families, in our friend groups, in our neighborhood, at work or even just online isn’t any simple task to do, it takes hard work and determination and I don’t think I’ll want that to change any time soon, I just want to feel comfortable for a little while longer.

Anticipate the Change

That's really the only way to anticipate the change which is coming, sure it might still catch you unprepared but you already have a plan for that, which is something most people don’t think about or can’t even afford to think about. We live our lives either very fast or under a strict budget which doesn’t permit us to do very much, so there is little or no planning for a future which incorporates problems of a diverse sort. Are you ready for a person having an accident? Or a person going to prison? Or being transferred to another city? No, you are not, and that's why those situations are sure to catch you off guard because you don’t even have them at the back of your mind.

Conclusion

Change is never easy, it hurts and could even break you in more ways than one. Even positive change can be destabilizing and people will try all their best to return to their normal, even to go as far as to self sabotage themselves or make irrational decisions. Right now you could move to another city with better opportunities but you don’t or you could learn harder to get a better job but you don’t, we are all scared in some way of this change and it takes a lot of courage to overcome this feeling of insecurity. The only way for it not to hurt you that bad is for you to get ready for it in someway, even though it can be difficult to plan for the unexpected. Ask yourself that question today, are you ready for a change?

Thanks for reading

If you enjoyed the article, you can buy me a coffee☺️