Humor doesn't have to die!

It’s OK to find humor in dark places. Laughter is the best way to chase away the demons and bring us back from all of the crappy stuff this world has to offer.

I have been a little frustrated recently…

I wanted to write some stuff that I thought was funny… but then I realized, I can’t seem to say what I need to say, in a ‘safe’ way that won’t make someone mad.

I want to create based on experience… and I have had a lot of strange moments in my life… and I’ve had a lot of upsetting ones. They are topics people really aren’t comfortable with talking about… and I have no idea how to illustrate those experiences effectively without inappropriately triggering someone before I have an opportunity to get to the point.

Working through those awful experiences brought me to a better place and a stronger me, but the subject matter, it’s really ugly, extreme bullying, sexual abuse, violence. These are delicate nice words; about the things I went through…

but…

They became places where I learned to conquer the bad in my life, it was the place where courage was born. Even when I wanted to shut down, or when I would take a long time to get back to normal… it took a long time to break free, but in the end, I found ways to laugh at the awful…

learning to laugh at it, made that darkness become small. Laughter brought the light that I needed to make it through the dark place.

Our world doesn’t handle things in this in this way… at least not to the naked eye.

There is something that I can’t get my head around as a writer…

How do we create freely with this kind of constraint?

You can’t talk about anything that might upset anyone… but the truth is, bad things are upsetting, and we live in a world that exists in the reality of both good things and bad things. This is why WE have to try to learn, rather than shut things out!

… I don’t want to run the risk of triggering anyone… but these things can’t just be swept under the rug! I still want to work through the things that might make some audiences uncomfortable. Working through that has more potential for good, than silence does.

But…

How do you create freely in that space?

I have no idea where to start?

It’s incredibly difficult to navigate correctly.

I have ideas that consistently run the high risk of backlash.

But most of the time backlash is founded in anger and an unwillingness to listen or learn. If a subject seems offensive just by its namesake, they shut the whole conversation down, before the establishing thought is even complete!

That is like someone who reads the first page of a book, and assumes the last page of a book, without being bothered to read the book at all!

I experienced this recently with my mother in-law.

I was trying to explain to her, a situation with my niece and their family unit. Sadly, it is an incredibly rough situation, and this girl feels very alone, and needs a lot of love. It is a tough home-life, and there is nothing I can really do to help. She is too young to leave and has to put up with a lot of crap that is arbitrary and unfair…

In order to explain all of the good that I have been trying to accomplish with her, I had to explain some of the bad first. My efforts were to establish perspective.

So, what was the problem?

The beginning of the story was too awful and offensive, so she shut down the whole conversation, before even giving me a chance to explain anything at all. She refused to continue and said, “change the subject”!

I just don’t understand the logic.

You can’t just pretend it isn’t real. It also doesn’t make sense why you would absorb all this Dramatization nonsense with your entertainment but won’t have a look at it when it is real.

Facebook, Netflix, literally anything in media or anything marked as click bait… but you are not interested in having a real-life conversation that explores coping with a tough situation. Maybe exploring it, gives us a useful solution to a difficult problem… but it’s too awful! Change the subject!

… What are we going to talk about now?

I’m not interested in talking about the weather, or keeping up with “big brother” … who wants to live in a world that has no real content? It’s so shallow and empty in that head-space.

It’s like wanting to go in the wave pool, but everyone else just wants to hang out in the lazy river. It’s just too boring!

This sadly can be applied to every kind of IGNORANCE.

Nothing can be improved, if you don’t attempt to examine it, and take part in interacting with it!

Another good example of this, is in my workplace!

You see, this business I have worked at for a while now… has a difficult time keeping employees. It has been established for over a decade now, but there are things in the company that desperately need improvement, in order to grow and thrive once more.

However, rather than addressing any major issues, by facing them and trying to come up with positive solutions, the people in charge have gotten comfortable within that last several years, turning a blind eye to a lot of really important issues.

Perhaps it isn’t so much comfortable, as it is a hope that someone else will pick of the slack if they just leave it alone (I genuinely don’t understand, because I am not in their shoes… but when I was in similar situations as management staff, it was easy to make those tough decisions if it was for the good of the whole company)

One of the main people in charge, that has the most power to create change in the place he created. He misunderstands the idea that, “you are responsible for your own happiness”.

His idea is that if a problem doesn’t exist in your mind’s eye, then it doesn’t exist at all… the idea is that you create your reality, rather than participating in life …

Now while I don’t disagree, you are responsible to yourself and your joy. If you don’t own your responsibilities in that, you be the cause of your own misery… after all, you are the common variable in every situation you face.

But Apathy is never a means of progress.

Blissful unawareness might be more comfortable than confrontation, but you will never have the opportunity to MOVE TO A BETTER PLACE… if you choose to be contented by your ignorance.

This kind of contentment is only a means to stagnate; floating in the boat going nowhere… and you will just let the S*** pile up around you, while you tell yourself, “everything is wonderful here, there are no problems at all”…

Wake up!

You HAVE to face things that are persistent problems, in order to move through it and find a solution. Every problem has a solution. Denying that it even exists, is just silly.

You cannot pretend life isn’t happening. Life doesn’t work that way.

There are so many people who live in some version of this ignorance… purposefully or unconsciously.

I’ve become equally surprised at the people, who believe so strongly in their perspectives that they will not take any other perspective as an answer. They will even fight you, in their efforts to prove they are right in that ignorance. Which is why people who are so easily triggered…but it’s like, they wanted the fight before the words that upset them even came up. They were ready for the goal of fighting before the fight even started. (its frustrating)

If you are going to let a little problem, bulldoze you or leave you in a place where you think that you can’t move forward anymore. What is going to happen when you are faced with a really big problem? There is no reason we should be living in a Doze or be Dozed kind of world.

So, what did this whole thing have to do about humor?

I’ve seen people shut down very quickly, because of those silly triggers.

Heck, I’ve lost friends because their inability to agree with me was more important than our friendship.

If something offends you, you know you have a right to your feelings… but that doesn’t mean you should allow anyone to feel any less valid because of it…

They are not less than you because their perspective is different from yours. What if their perspective, gives you a chance to grow? You wasted an opportunity, because you couldn’t see past yourself.

This is a really important lesson in growing up.

It is about being able to learn to express yourself properly, in the midst of others attempting to do the same.

And eventually… in a round-about way, learning how to laugh again.

If you think that you resemble the butt of a joke. It doesn’t mean that it is a personal attack on you… it is a verbal illustration designed for the purpose of making a point, hopefully with the goal of making someone laugh.

(don’t get me wrong. There are tons of bad jokes, but humor is subject to experience. If you have lived through the s*** someone else has, you might also find humor in that experience)

I know that this rant was more about a lesson in intolerance and ignorance, but I’m exhausted by people who get mad every time something you say steps on their pride or delicate sensibilities…

It’s tiring living in a world that thinks that way.

It’s OK to find humor in every kind of place… the good, the bad, the ugly… even in dark places.

It just shows that you faced that demon and won.