Human.

To be completely honest, I was giving up on writing. I didn’t feel like I wasn’t good enough. I was losing motivation. I have a notebook and inside of it are so many little writings I could not finish. My garbage was getting full with ideas I felt like was stupid. So I took a break.

In that break, I was still losing motivation. I couldn’t find anything to write in. I felt completely numb in everything I did. I hated it. But I heard something saying if you’re feeling numb, it means you’re still feeling something. That stuck with me. I wasn’t a block person. I just build up my walls too high for the emotions to come in. So I knocked them down. When I knocked them down. Everything hit me. I was crying on my bedroom floor with my dog licking my face and trying to lift me up. I admit. It’s an ugly picture. My nose running, eyes puffing up, me sobbing on the floor on top of my clothes that I was too lazy to pick up earlier that day. My dog gave up and realized I just needed someone. He curled up against my stomach and licked my hand. My dog saw me through everything. He’s my best friend. He helped me to feel human again.

Have you guys ever watched The Vampire Diaries? When Elena turned off her humanity switch to feel no more pain? I believe we could do that. I felt like I did when I was feeling numb. I didn’t know I switched it off. I was just so tired of feeling hurt and sadness. I was tired of everything. The legend, Rocky Balboa once said “Life's not about how hard of a hit you can give... it's about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward.” My dad is a huge fan of his and raised me with his movies. I heard that quote when I was younger. Another thing that stayed with me. You take as many hits as you can, but you HAVE to keep moving forward. If it’s not for yourself then it is for someone else. If it isn’t for someone else then it’s for you.

Every rain comes with a rainbow, but sometimes life hits us too hard and we’re too weak to punch it back. It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to focus on yourself for a while. It’s okay to tap out of the fight. It’s okay for you to cry to make yourself feel better. It’s okay to rant in any type of way. Whether it be writing, painting, playing or making music. Talking to a friend or family. It’s okay to just shake it off. It’s okay for you to take a five hour nap cause you felt like seven hours of sleep wasn’t enough. It’s okay to feel a little numb. It’s okay if you just want to sit back and breathe. It’s okay to take that bath. It’s okay if your laundry is in your hamper because you’re just not in a mood to do it. It’s okay to cancel plans with your friends or family because you’re just too tired to get out of bed. It’s okay for you to cry over your favorite pen running out of ink (Cause honestly same). It’s okay to get mad because you can’t hit the right strings in guitar. It’s okay to rather stay in bed all day instead of getting up. It’s okay to turn your humanity switch off for a while.

Just know it’s okay to feel the things you are feeling.

You’re human.

Please, don’t forget that.